Male Mail

[Bunnymarn]

that was depressing. It was building up and building up, and let me down. It made me laugh half way through though.

Yeah, a few people have told me something along the same lines. Any suggestions to make the ending better?

Less swearing... also the way it was delivered it sounded like the kid was upset o0. Bad family! Apart from that the fourcandles/forkhandles type humor was ok.

I only used swearing because she was getting extremely annoyed.

stupid, stupid mistake calling both kids Bill. Who does that?



When people say mail they mean mail. No-one makes that mistake.

The husband is incredibly thick.

I am guessing that Elurindel is British. Z and S get a bit screwy between US English and English English.

He missed the 'L' entirely though.

Anyway, great story, I like it!

Thankyou. I have more, but they are a bit different.

That's pretty amusing. That's the kind of thing I'd like to see in the funnies.

Thanks, glad you find it funny.

stupid, stupid mistake calling both kids Bill. Who does that?

When people say mail they mean mail. No-one makes that mistake.

Obviosly this putz does, which is why his wife is divorcing him. This is the same putz who probably pushed to have both kids named Bill.

Must be an L4D fan.

Heh, I do play Left 4 Dead...

OH NOES, they get divorced. I'm going to go and hang myself.

I do have an alternative ending, but people who have read it understand it and I have to explain it to them. I can put it up if you want.

Yeah sure, id like to see most of your "Stories" Actually, maybe you should put up a website? ^.-

Actually, I do; although it's not exactly what I want, it's still good enough. I hope to at some point buy a domain... When I get some money. Anyway the site is: http://protopage.com/professor.intellegent

EDIT: Just about all of the stories on the site don't have proper grammar, paragraphs and possibly spelling. I will need to do that at some point or I can just pay someone I know to do it.

 

[bmf185]

Capitisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Just playing. Your quote is pretty funny though.

I am guessing that Elurindel is British. Z and S get a bit screwy between US English and English English.

No, it's because he missed out the L in Capitalisation. As for English English and US English, can I just state something. There is no such thing as US English. You may think there is, but really you guys just get it wrong. It's called the English language for a reason, i.e. it originated in England. Every other country in the world that speaks English uses the UK version, so why does America feel the need to bastardise it?

We bastardize anything we do in order to make it ours. And you mean to tell me that Australian and Canadian English are the same as UK English? Dialects, my friend. There is no such thing as "wrong" in linguistics. Unfortunately for you, neither is there such a thing as the "right" form of a language.

 

[a7r0p05]

Why did they name their children both bill?

That's what I was wondering, wouldn't that get confusing to the kids?

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

Great story, I love me some word play.

 

[Nimbus]

Screw the "Dialects" argument.
People outside the US conform to: http://www.askoxford.com/
People inside the US, don't.

 

[cainx10a]

Enjoyed the story, although, a husband like Greg, who seems doomed to a life of Servitude, I really don't get how the wife would want to get rid of him. Yes, he is stupid, but, hey, he has his uses.

 

[Bunnymarn]

Great story, I love me some word play.

Thanks, I like word play aswell.

Enjoyed the story, although, a husband like Greg, who seems doomed to a life of Servitude, I really don't get how the wife would want to get rid of him. Yes, he is stupid, but, hey, he has his uses.

Haha, thanks, he may have his uses.

Why did they name their children both bill?

That's what I was wondering, wouldn't that get confusing to the kids?

Oh I could just imagine the crazy shenanigans we'll do. *looks up and thinks about the time I would have with my two sons, Bill and Bill*

Let's just say that Greg isn't the most intellectual being.

 

[Bunnymarn]

Capitisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while, Thank You!

As for the TC's story. It's a little anti-climactic. The end seems a little too abrupt. Maybe you should make it longer, flesh it out.

I have been told to make it longer by a few people...

Perhaps I will, when I can be bothered.

 

[Clashero]

Capitisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Just playing. Your quote is pretty funny though.

I am guessing that Elurindel is British. Z and S get a bit screwy between US English and English English.

No, it's because he missed out the L in Capitalisation. As for English English and US English, can I just state something. There is no such thing as US English. You may think there is, but really you guys just get it wrong. It's called the English language for a reason, i.e. it originated in England. Every other country in the world that speaks English uses the UK version, so why does America feel the need to bastardise it?

Because sometimes the U.S. feels this insatiable urge to differentiate themselves from the world. Or that would be my guess why. Seriously, why else would the U.S. use the English system when Metric is 100 times better? Seriously, if you can move a decimal point, you can do metric. Heck, it is named after the English and even they don't use it!

That's what baffles me. I practically don't that they write the word "mOm" (cringe), but their measuring system is RIDICULOUS!
Normal people system: 10 mm is 1 cm, 100 cm is 1m, 1000m is 1km.
American system: 12 inches is 1 foot, 3 feet are a yard, 5,280 ft or 1,760 yd are a mile

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

No, it's because he missed out the L in Capitalisation. As for English English and US English, can I just state something. There is no such thing as US English. You may think there is, but really you guys just get it wrong. It's called the English language for a reason, i.e. it originated in England. Every other country in the world that speaks English uses the UK version, so why does America feel the need to bastardise it?

Because sometimes the U.S. feels this insatiable urge to differentiate themselves from the world. Or that would be my guess why. Seriously, why else would the U.S. use the English system when Metric is 100 times better? Seriously, if you can move a decimal point, you can do metric. Heck, it is named after the English and even they don't use it!

Not too shabby I have to say, but why does the man have to be the moron? Just asking.

I'm English and I use Metric. Everybody I know uses metric, I do a Maths degree and every course in the university that relates to any sort of measurement uses metric. If you Americans want to use a different system then that's fine by me, I have no problem with that. However, I just think that you should either use proper English as a language or call it something other than English, that doesn't use the term 'English' in it. So none of this 'US English' rubbish, OK? It's English, plain and simple.

I am in agreement with you. There is no "American" English or "English" English, just English. I was merely guessing as to why some would say there was. Also, I think the measurement system here is ludicrous. Why can't we just use metric? Is being different from the rest of the world so important we have to come up with an overly complicated and contrived system?