Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"NO DUMBASS! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN A HORROR MOVIE BEFORE? TEY ALWAYS KILL THE ONES WHO RUN OFF FIRST!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"IT'S TOO LATE I'M IN THE RAFTER-Shit."
I fall off and land on top of Salt.
"Oh hey. We can totally play D&D."

 

[Saltarius]

"No! If you do anything that deviates from the modern family values of the fucking 50's in America, you die. No drugs, alcohol, sex, and yes, that even includes D&D." Despite it's invention not coming until after that period. It still fits, so we're not doing it."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I sit down in a large armchair, comb my hair, put on some eyeglasses, pull on a pullover, and ruffle Salts hair.
"Oh you silly little scamp."

 

[Saltarius]

"...I'm older than you."

I sigh, and sit down.

"Fuck it. Half-elf monk."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I respawn inside Salt, erupting out of him in an explosion of gore.
"sure I'll play."

 

[Saltarius]

I respawn.

"Then who the fuck is GM?"

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Dibs bard."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I'm calling Dragonborn Warlord and GM."

 

[Saltarius]

"Statted and rolled. Don't ask how I know my numbers."

I hand my sheet to Zombie.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Woooooo character sheets"
I roll a 1 for every fucking stat apart from cooking, in which i get a 20.
"...AWESOME"

 

[Saltarius]

"And finales that are in theaters."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"..."
"Okay then."
I sit down and roll up a Paladin.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Alright. You all start on a floating island. You can not see the land below, yet you know it's there. Somewhere close is a temple filled with literal shit, and treasure. What do you do?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I kick Sigma's character off the island and then proceed to say a prayer to the Raven Queen, goddess of winter and death."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I immediately break down due to a crisis of faith, as I'm both vehemently opposed to the idea of looting a temple, and believe it is not my place to impose my own morality on the rest of the party."
I turn to glance at Salt.
"And I make sure I remembered to prepare Smite Evil this morning. While I freak out."

 

[Saltarius]

"Chaotic Neutral. Don't work hombre."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"I catch a ride on a Beast of Crippling Insecurity and fly back to the island."
I roll a 17
"Awyiss"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"The Raven Goddess appears from the heavens, slaps Salt, sending him flying into the temple of shit. You are covered with excrement."
I turn to Trilby.
"You fall over, roll up into a ball, and scream. And Sigma, you...do that...Anyway, The Great Mighty Poo rises from the temple and starts singing."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"I whip out my trusty Book of Withering Rebukes and try and scorn him."