Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

"If we put him in a conventional cell, what's to stop him strangling himself and respawning outside the prison? Or attacking a guard and getting them to kill him?"

 

[Saltarius]

I poke my head in the office.

"Yeah, what wedding?"

"Tril, seriously, just calm down."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I put the Salt-line on hold for a moment and answer Paddy.
"Salt's wedding. He and the CEO of TrollEnterprises are going to 'Cement the bonds of friendship between their people', which is a crock of bull. He needs their votes and she needs his political clout if we ever have a repeat of the Gamzee Incident"

 

[Sigma Castell]

I turn and shout to Trilby.
"Hey tril, you got the security sorted yet?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

I sigh and stand up, brushing dirt from my clothes with my free hand. "This is exactly what I mean. Look, where are you now? I'll come and meet you. I think I was sleeping rough for a while." Sigma tells me where he is. I find some keys in my bag and they open an old beaten up car by the side of the road. "Real classy me, real classy." I drive over to Sigma's office and sit on a radiator after being let in. "Now." I lean back. "Explain all the differences between this universe and the last one."

 

[Saltarius]

"Wait wait, WHO am I getting married to?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Wait wait, WHO am I getting married to?"

You are married to the city. Now is not the time to consider a romantic relationship. You cast such silly machinations aside.

[i/]Beeeeeeeeeeep[/i]

"Hello, can I speak to Sister please?"

YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!

No one ever bothers the girl's sleep. Ever. That's just a simple fact of life.

You make the appointment and place the phone back on the receiver. Your mind is scattered. That will teach you never to down another smoothie that fast. A brain freeze can be fatal in your line of work.

I pick up another phone, this time one stuck to the ceiling and call Salt.
"I cant get through to Sister, she's not answering the Hotline."

No shit.

You should stop drinking those smoothies. You have half a mind to, but they're just so...

[i]GROOVY.[/i]

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I have most of a station hunting Zombie right now. I'm going to assign two teams to Salt at all times. He won't be able to move without bumping into a cop protecting him."

 

[Saltarius]

"I...Whatever. Also, narrator, what if I want to pursue romantic relations? What if I wanted a particular woman to be married to? Notwithstanding the fact that she is dead."

 

[RaNDM G]

You would have to give up your title, unfortunately. 

You would also be arrested and fined under charges of necromancy.

 

[Saltarius]

"I mean like, in general marrying a woman. I can accept that she's dead."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Salt, there's a reason people put 'til death do we part' in wedding vows. Anyway, what if Aradia wasn't killed in this universe?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Then I would probably rush out and find her and do everything I could to make sure that gun-running stray bullet shit doesn't happen to her."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well then, go find out if she's alive."

 

[Saltarius]

"Don't mind if I do."

I call my other secretary.

"Read me back Aradia Megido's history with me. Sister's too."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I pull a box of cigarettes and a packet of matches from my bag. I light one and look at Sigma. "Too busy to answer huh? Well I got nothing better to do. Guess this is one of those occasions where I'm a Savage Detective." I pat Sigma on the head and stride out of the office to look for Zombie. I phone up Trilby. "You're still policing here right? Any idea where Zombie is?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I set up a group call to all of us.
"From the mouth of another these words come, I relay them to you. Screw you guys, I'm going home." I use some weird spacey wacey timey wimey shit, and teleport back to the original mall. I chill out in my fort.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Hey Paddy. He was at a frozen lake, last time I checked. He threw Salt's sword into it. He's probably going to lay low until Salt is exposed. Probably this wedding."
I check the ball.
"Nope. Back in his fort. Jesus..."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I start to move towards the lake. "Thanks dude. I'm getting paid for this right? I'm a freelance detective after all."

 

[Saltarius]

"Trilby, there is no wedding."