Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

I sit up and rub my head. man that hurt.
The Trolls and Zombie are all crowded round some mini-troll/grub thing. Must be Salts spawn.
I get unsteadily to my feet. Staggering over to the sofa, I steal the remote from Vriska and put on the Jeremy Kyle Show.
I then proceed to teach the grub about smoothies and randomosity.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I dodge Zombie's blow and throw him over my shoulder onto the ground. "I don't wanna hurt anyone."

 

[Saltarius]

"Don't make me do this. Dammit, we were such good friends. Why did you have to do this?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Salt, I don't know what you're on about but your son isn't here. Paddy, leave and take your friends with you. I don't want any trouble, but I'm in the middle of something. Need I take extreme force, so help me I shall."

 

[Saltarius]

"You just kidnapped my son, dammit. Now give him back to me and we can go back to living our lives."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You left all my" I make air quotes with my fingers. "'friends' back on dry land. I just wanna get paid and make sure the kid's OK. And now I guess I'm stuck here." I wander over to Nepeta and strike up conversation.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Wait what? When the fuck did I do that! Salt, if this is one of your bullshit attempts to get me arrested, then stop it. I haven't done anything wrong. Guys, back me up here." All the trolls agree, in my defense. I push a button, and we're back in the country side.
"Now leave."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"I have two theories Salt. PMS, or Vriska isn't giving him any."
My blender mates with Zombies toaster and makes The Blendoaster.
"You guys want smoothies?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Really. Then who's the kid?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Mine. I found him, abandoned in an old, abandoned warehouse, in a box labeled, DESTROY ME. I think you'll find, I took him in, when no one else obviously would. Now leave Scott and me alone."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Oh yeah, Zombie you've tried and in my case succeeded in attempting to kill us all numerous times. You've also committed-"
I hold up my fingers, and begin counting off of them.
"Terrorism, mass murder, arson, and normal murder. I believe thats whats classified as 'doing something wrong'"

 

[Saltarius]

"That kid is my son, and I'd appreciate if you stepped the fuck away and gave him back to me."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I notice the kid.
"Uuuh Salt, thats not your kid."
I scan him.
"Yep, definatly not yours."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"You fucking abandoned him Salt. Also Sigma, that was in a different universe, leaving it invalid. So Salt, I've raised him. Me and the trolls, are helping him. You're a politician, who fucking killed your own wife!" I hear Sigma.
"See? Even your secretary agrees with me."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Assholery is valid in every universe, Zombie."
I throw a smoothie at Zombie.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Salt, give me your exact location. I have a few teams ready to stop Zombie."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I catch the smoothie and hand it to Salt.
"My good will gesture. Now please leave."

 

[Saltarius]

"Damn it Zomb! You and I both know that wasn't me! I..."


Tears begin to well.

"You're right. Raise him to be a decent person. For me. Do one thing for me. Make sure he never finds out I'm his father. Not after what I've done."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I slap Salt.
"Dude. Listen to me. Very carefuly. Your not his father. I tested him. No Salt DNA. It's just Paddys and Nepetas."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I...I will Salt. I promise. I apologize for everything I've done...I'm sorry Salt." I bro-hug Salt, and step back. I watch as he leaves the house.
"Goodbye my friend."