Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Huh. I guess that kinda threw a wrench in it."

CRANE MANSION

"Too late."

Nega Salt moves one of his teeth with his tongue, revealing it to be a false tooth full of cyanide. He bites down on it, killing him.

KNIFE'S APARTMENT OR WHATEVER

"Christ...I just did so much shit, I'm not sure I can fix it all."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I crash into some shops in my Humvee. I jump out and fall on my ass, "I'm drunk." I mumble to myself.

 

[Saltarius]

I look out the window to see a crashed Humvee stories below.

"HEY WAFFLES, WE'VE GOT A FREE DALEK UP HERE IF YOU WANT IT!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Great!" I shout back up at whoever shouted down to me, "Drag me up there! I'm to drunk and too little conscious to walk!"

 

[Saltarius]

I throw Waffles down a rope and sobering up pills.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I slam a few pills into my mouth and dryly swallow. I stand up straight, grab the rope and climb it into the apartment. "Lemme see this Dalek."

 

[Saltarius]

"It was a lie, Waffles. We needed you up here. See that wriggler over there? That's my son. I apparently rule the mall now, and I've done a lot of bad shit. I need your help to find Xot."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I take out a flask of Whiskey, take a few sips, and spit it in Salt's face. "OK." I say, unaffected by the turn of events, really needing an excuse to spit things in Salt's face, "I wouldn't have any idea where he'd be, though."

 

[Saltarius]

"Let me give you the low down. Me and Aradia had a one night stand, somehow she got pregnant with my kid, once he was born I lynched her. Now some goddamn assassin tried to kill me and take my son. We need to figure out just where the hell Xot is. If you have any ideas about where a douchy half ghost would be, I'm all ears."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Hang on one moment." I take out my cellphone and call Tox, "Yo, buddy...Uh-huh...Yeah...Well, what are you wearing...That's disgusting...No, I ju-...Well, fuck your mother!" I turn off my phone, "Mall Fight Park." I tell Salt.

 

[MinimanZombie]

Eventually, the business has truly started, allowing me to employ people. I send a message to Waffles.
"Yo dude, heard your back from a sleep or something, so, want a job?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I message MZ back, "That depends. Does it pay a lot for little work?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Depends. What are you good/bad at? Just come over to my mansion, and we'll talk." I hang up.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I roll my eyes. "I've gotta go." I say to Salt. I go downstairs and steal a car. I ride to MZ's mansion.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Welcome dude. Long time no see. Where's your Humvee? Never mind, meet the group. There's all the trolls except Terezi and Aradia. My kid's around here somewhere. Probably sleeping. Now, let's talk business. Skills. Tell me."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Mastery and knowledge of every galactic ship in this universe. The ability to gain a blood sample from literally anything that has blood. Biology, both ectological and humane. Perfect liar. And I'm able to create poisons and healing agents under the right conditions."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sounds good. You're hired. Do whatever the fuck you want!" I walk off to make the movie adaptation of my autobiography.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Wait!" I follow MZ, "That's it?! What do I get paid!?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"...Is friendship a viable option? I have other sources of money but eh. Also, I do have an outline of what you should do. I uploaded the list to your phone."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I roll my eyes and check my phone for the list.