Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

I load the babies into the microwave, first liberally drizzling it with some nice cabarana sauce, available from Waitrose next monday, pre-order today for free hat.
"The trick is to get a niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeven coating, let all those loooooooooooooooooooooovely flavours sizzle through..."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Sigma what the fuck? Why are you pouring carbonara sauce on a microwave?"

 

[Saltarius]

I pop up behind Tox and Miniman.

"Diiiidddd somebody say genderrrrr?"

 

[Sigma Castell]

I start slow-roasting the cabarana-covered microwave with the dead babies inside over a large fire.
"Now, for the best results, you want to use the burnt embers from the spazwood trees. They give it this niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooky flavour which, when coupled with this marvelous fruit hamper, available from Waitrose for only £70, buy now or forever regret it, makes for a truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuly diviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine dish."

 

[Knife-28]

"That's it. Next planet we get to you're all going into therapy." Knife says, pouring a bucket of water over Sigma's fire.

 

[Knife-28]

"I would think that would be obvious." Knife says.

 

[Saltarius]

"Lots of shit."

 

[Saltarius]

I take out my tape recorder.

"You are going to obey a thing which you don't even know the gender of? Wise choice."

"Ahem."

 

[Saltarius]

"...I don't know. In place of a discussion on that, how about we...y'know. Fight?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Fuck the meth labs."

I punch Tox in the face.

"I just want you dead."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Uh...Tox."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I reverse-pickpocket grenades into Salt and Tox's inventories.

 

[Saltarius]

I stuff the grenade into Mini's mouth, pull the pin, and throw him off the building.

"So, like I was saying, Alice in Wonderland is the weakest of Burton's films."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I take the grenade out, pull out the pin, and shove it down Tox's throat.
"That seems to work better."

 

[Saltarius]

"And furthermore, the decision to outsource the boss battles in Deus Ex: Human Revolution was so utterly wrong, I can hardly fathom why they did it."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well fuck."
I respawn in the hardware store. I start tying electric drills together

 

[Saltarius]

"Which brings me to my final point: Lovecraft may have be an intolerably racist...racist, but he was one of the most profound writers of horror in any era, and for that I think we should learn to accept his lesser traits with his better."

 

[Saltarius]

"But as many have come to realize, is that George R.R. Martin is telling a story, not catering to the fans for sales. And the story he tells is among the finest I've ever read."

 

[Saltarius]

"All that needs to be said about Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, is that a change of direction is never harmful, and it works very well in it's favor in that particular case."

 

[Saltarius]

"Copyright is honestly one of the least relevant things in this day and age. When a person can [REDACTED] and places your whole collection of films on the internet, who can [DATA EXPUNGED] that it's all wrong?