Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Uh...exist. I'm between jobs. Not that income is an issue."

 

[Knife-28]

A waiter (Who is obviously not Knife with a ridiculous moustache) pops up beside the table Salt and Diamond are sitting at. "Would the monsieur be ready to order?" The waiter (Who again, is totally not Knife) asks in an overblown french accent.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well, I like to have income, y'know? Gives an odd sense of security, y'know?" Diamond blushes a little, "Uh, sorry, I have a problem where I have to turn the attention to me."

 

[Saltarius]

"Gee, quite the overzealous use of male terms there, monsieur. Anyways, I'll just...have a Coke or something. Not really in the mood for something to actually eat. Sooo...Diamond. How did you meet Waffles?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"In the womb."

 

[Saltarius]

"Beg pardon?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"We're twins."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Oh. Ha. Well, this is a little awkward."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"How so?"

 

[Saltarius]

"...Not sure. So do you two share many interests or are you polar opposites?"

 

[Knife-28]

The waiter (Again, not Knife) leaves, then returns with a bottle of coke and pours it into a wine glass, which he places on the table infront of Salt. "Now, would madame like anything?" He asks Diamond.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"A little of both really. He's love of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and Touhou gets long in the tooth after awhile."

 

[Saltarius]

"Tell me about it. Really the only thing I discuss with him lately is Dangan Ronpa. I'm sure he's mentioned it to you before."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

She rubs her temples jokingly, "If I hear the name 'Junko' one more time, I'm going to stab him."

 

[Saltarius]

"Haha...yeaaahhhh."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Y'know, I'm really enjoying this d-" The School Rumble theme [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVd12vnb_SY] plays from a cellphone. "Aw shit, I'm sorry. I have to take this." Diamond answers her phone and leaves the table. "No...No, she's right," Salt hears from earshot, "No, bleach and ammonia makes mustard gas..."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Probably just...warning someone. Not dating a psychopath, not dating a psychopath, not dating a psychopath..."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Diamond sits back at the table, "Sorry, family problems." She says with fake chuckle, "Like I was saying, I'm really enjoying this date. It's rare to find someone who just listens so often and blah blah blah blah blah-" She doesn't actually say this, but, in Salt's mind she just sorta drones on until he hears Box 15 [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGBWs_fWWHE]. Almost as if it's coming from his head, like, a phone call.

 

[Saltarius]

"Ah, hold that thought. Something I need to take care of. I need to uh...powder my nose."

I run into the bathroom and quickly bash my head in the wall repeatedly, respawning on top of my corpse and walking out, now with arms.

"Sorry. Reattachment is a real *****."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Elsewhere
I open my eyes as I realize Salt telepathically hung up on me, "That asshole." I mumble to myself. I see Kasey in front of me, crossing her arms expectantly, "Oh, shut up. There's no way bleach and ammonia makes mustard gas."

"Unc', I know what I'm talking about."

"Bah! We're taking this to Wikipedia!"

Back to the restaurant
"Oh, it's cool. I understand. Uh," She looks awkwardly at Salt's arms, "Care to tell me how you lost them. I mean, if it doesn't bring up any bad memories."