Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

"Salt, if they lied about not blowing us up if we give them Woon, they would probably still kill us, regardless of what they swear on."
I look back towards the pirates.
"You're welcome. Now, want anything else? Perhaps some modifications to any cybernetic limbs? Ridiculous weapons? Some sandwiches?"
I stare at the pirate when he pulls out the detonator.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. If my heart stops beating, then the nuclear bomb I put inside Woon before you guys showed up detonates, and it'll take our your ship!"

 

[Saltarius]

"...That and I just called the space navy."

 

[MinimanZombie]

They look at each other for a second, before the captain presses the detonator. Nothing happens. He laughs.
"Aw man you should have looked at your faces! Seriously, you guys were freaking out and shit."
They slit Woons throat.
"Well, good thing the Space Navy was disbanded years ago. Ah he he he...Oh and by the way Jill was just on your ship. She stole a ton of your stuff. HIGH FIVE BABY! What's with those shops anyway? A mystery we'll never learn...See you later suckers."

They jump to a different sector.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I watch in horror as they kill Woon.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" I fall to my knees.

 

[Saltarius]

"FOR THE EVER LOVE OF FUCK, WHO TIPPED OVER ALL THESE DISPLAY CASES!?" A voice rings our across the mall.

"Well, that was exceedingly pointless."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Not necessarily. We learned a new trick we can use if we ever start space-pirating. Which I still think we should."

 

[Saltarius]

"I guess."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"And... uh... yeah, this was a waste of fucking time."

 

[Saltarius]

"Let's go build a robot or something."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Okay, then."
I head off to the workshop.

 

[Saltarius]

I follow Trilby.

"I was thinking something that wouldn't just so happen to go rogue and kill us all."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Right."
I open a large box and start pulling out robot parts.
"Let's get started."

 

[Paddy the Second]

A tulpa walks through the pirate's ship humming to himself. Another inside our ship stands next to Trilby and Salt. "You should really have waited for me to be ready, I'll do what I can."

The tulpa inside the pirate's ship dismantles the engine and teleports the parts to a nearby sun.

"I'm a very spiteful person."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I look down at the pirate crew as the poison takes effect, their spasming movements slowing as the paralysis takes effect. Drawing my knife, I slice their hamstrings for good measure. One of them looks up at me, tears in her eyes.
[small/]"p-please..."[/small] she whispers, her words warped and stuttered as her mouth seizes up.
I squat down at her level, and, smiling, decapitate her with my swords.
"Don't take our stuff *****." Standing up, I fiddle with the lights, adjusting the focus. Putting on an apron, I turn to the Camera.
"Hello viewers, and welcome back to Cooking With Sigma. Today I'll be making a traditional Lithuanian dish..."
_______________________________________[CENSORED]________________________________________________

 

[MinimanZombie]

The captain watches the whole thing on the surveillance.
"How the fuck did they get on our ship? This whole crew was a rental as well. Sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands."
He sighs, steps into an ADAM pumping machine, and begins splicing heavily.

 

[Sigma Castell]

The ship starts to shatter around me as I cook. Purple liquid leaks through cracks, creeping across the floor and solidifying into multiple copies of Salt, all possesing extremely large eyes, about the size of their hands.

 

[Paddy the Second]

My tulpa leaves the pirate's ship immediately.

 

[Saltarius]

"Alright, I think we need to screw the uh...gyro onto that part. To make it do the thing."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I screw the gyro onto the part, then press a button. It does... something.
"Ooookaaaay..."

 

[Saltarius]

"That was not the expected thing. Hmmm...I think we were supposed to put the humidifier on first..."