Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

I reach up and grab Sigma's face, then crush it.
"Yeah. Thinking about it, though... both of those quests were because of Salt. The first one we got roped into after she was arrested for terrorism, and the second one we did because Salt wants to shag Sister or something."
I put Sigma's corpse on the floor, then draw a gun and shoot Salt a bunch of times.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I respawn in my stripper gear.
"Woops"
I dive behind a convenient changing screen, and emerge two seconds later.
"Trilby what was that for anyway I thought we were tight man"

 

[DotSlash]

"So everything is Salt's fault? Alright."
I bring out my sword but see Trilby shooting everything. I shrug and then start scrawling creepy messages on the wall.
I turn to Zombie.
"Care to clarify?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I need a reason to kill people now?"
I rip out Sigma's sternum and beat him with it.
"If it involves Sister or the space cops, then yes."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well, they're clothes for 'Gods' right? And if we're using god like powers, surely we'll need clothing that won't just be destroyed instantly. So, we need special materials."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I respawn inside Trilby, exploding him from the inside.
"What kinda materials?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn.
"So, once we do our personal quests, we have to go on a fucking fetch quests for materials worth of gods!? Fucking hell."

 

[DotSlash]

"Bullshit, Gods don't need to wear anything."
The messages start to drip blood as I go back to the stick figures.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I reach grab Dot and slowly start to fillet him with a knife.
"No Dot see if you're a God you might as well be a sexy one. Of course i am the only one who stands a chance of that but the rest of you can at least aspire to it."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Oh come on, we're a bunch of crazy fighters, who never seem to shave or bathe. Or really wash ourselves in any way. Also space is cold. Do you wanna fly around space, freezing your preferred genitalia off?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"According to the guide, there's a bug that means we can't use our powers unless we're wearing our God Tier clothes. Plus, they're apparently really comfy."
I look at Zombie.
"Hey, I had a shower back when we first got the ship... and I think that was the last time any of us did so. I should really wash more regularly, given that I perform major surgery surprisingly often."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"I had all my body hair lasered off six weeks ago"

 

[DotSlash]

"Seeing as my gentailia is now robotic, I could give less of a shit."
I repeatedly slap Sigma with the edge of my sword as he fillets me.
"Naw, dude. I'm not about to follow your example."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"On the subject of your dick, you should probably read the manual. Apparently, I put some really weird shit in there."
I hand Dot a massive book entitled 'A User's Guide to the Penis'.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Dot stop you're ruining my souffle," I mutter as I carefully draw his rib bones out of the slit i made in his chest.

 

[DotSlash]

The combined book weight and bones breaking kills me. I respawn and take the book and start reading it.
"...So that's why there's that bubbly feeling. Well, whatever. Hopefully it doesn't leak."
I turn to Sigma and sniff.
"Your souffle smells like ass. My ass specifically."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Dot your ass is metal why would I put metal in a souffle dont you know anything about cooking?
I start to grate babies into the bowl.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Actually, Sigma, the metal stops just below the ass."

 

[DotSlash]

"No. I assumed putting metal in anything made it better. Gives a nice crunch and stuff."
I throw an iron at Sigma.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"What do you think's in it?"