Man jailed for failed faeces alchemy.

[MetaKnight19]

I had to do a double take when I read the title of the story. His barristar said 'he was a man of considerable intellectual ability' but had drug problems. The man in question got 3 months in jail for arson after setting his apartment block on fire. This has go to be one of the strangest stories I've seen all year.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/man-jailed-after-trying-to-turn-faeces-into-gold-.html

 

[Liberaliter]

I'm hoping Skyrim can expand the Elder Scrolls' alchemy system into the realm of faeces.

 

[Crazy Zaul]

Phrasing it 'his attempt to turn his own faeces into gold went wrong'
Suggests it would have actually worked if he did it differently.

 

[omicron1]

He was obviously not a Lannister.

In all seriousness, though, the guy sounds like a nut. Maybe once he gets out he can go live alone in the woods somewhere and "experiment."

 

[Lord Beautiful]

So that's how feces is spelled across the pond. The title had me confused for a moment.

If only he were successful. Turning our waste into excellent conductors would be kickass.

 

[Cazza]

He got jailed for starting a dangerous fire. Doesn't matter what he was trying to do.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

So that's how feces is spelled across the pond. The title had me confused for a moment.

If only he were successful. Turning our waste into excellent conductors would be kickass.

haha yup, i almost thought he meant to spell "faces" at first, then i realized it was "feces" that is the conversion.

this is definitely quite odd...

and you say we cook up weird shit in america? humbug i say!

 

[Tartarga]

I really want to make a Full Metal Alchemist joke here but there doesn't seem to be a proper set up for one, pity.

 

[flyingwithsharks]

I was wondering if it was mistyped as "faces" or "feces".

Had me confused there for a minute.

Anyway, this guy is obviously nuts. How could you call him an intellectual with a straight face?

Your avatar is so appropriate.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

He'll get it right next time.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Kinda glad it didn't work. Dude must've failed economics.

 

[teqrevisited]

Well if it didn't catch fire he'd probably only have ended up with a nugget of pure green anyway.

 

[DasDestroyer]

I read the title as "Man jailed for failed, faces alchemy" o-O

Also, imagine how worthless gold would be if every chump with a bit of imagination turned all of their shit into gold?

 

[Panzervaughn]

I really want to make a Full Metal Alchemist joke here but there doesn't seem to be a proper set up for one, pity.

This Alchemic Technique has been passed down in his family for GENERATIONS. THE PEFECT BLEND OF STRENGTH AND BEAUTY.

It also would have just turned back to poop in a halfhour, anyway.

 

[Crazy Zaul]

"An Irish guy who turns shit into gold, isn't that Westlife"

 

[Jodah]

I assume "on license" is the Irish term for "probation." Seems like he was on some good drugs though...

 

[Leemaster777]

Hmm... golden turds... now where have I heard THAT before?

 

[The Funslinger]

He was obviously not a Lannister.

In all seriousness, though, the guy sounds like a nut. Maybe once he gets out he can go live alone in the woods somewhere and "experiment."

I absolutely loved that quote in the book. "Tywin Lannister's eyes were flecked with gold. A bard had once dared to joke that his shit was also flecked with it. Some people said that man was still alive somewhere deep in Casterly Rock." It's then more than ever that Tywin Lannister reminds me of Lord Vetinari from Discworld. It helps that in the movie adaptation of Going Postal and the HBO adaptation of Game of Thrones, they're portrayed by the same actor.