Marrying Young

[Aggy213]

Im 22 and in the process of planning my wedding. My fiance and I have been together for over 4 years and we have lived together for 2. We are also finacially stable. I dont see anything wrong with us getting married this young.

If you love someone and know your going to love them and want to be together forever why not get married?

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I'm 24 (today's my birthday, actually ) and there's no way in hell I'm marrying before I'm well into my 30's. I've had a relationship for 3 years, another for 2 years and I'm counting 5 months now on my third big relationship. All gorgeous, lovely girls, love/d them all - but at no point I would've married any one of them. I wanna finish college, get a steady job, a place of my own (I live with my sis right now) and enjoy my big bed for myself now and then.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I see marriage as a pretty pointless institution so it's a little harder for me to comment on that, but at the same I don't think it's a particularly good idea to rush into these sorts of things if you've only been with them for like 6 months or whatever and I'd probably raise a disconcerting eyebrow if I heard someone my age was getting married. As for settling down and having kids I would say (in most circumstances) that producing you're own spawn before you've hit at least 25 probably isn't going to bode too well for you and even then I've seen people in their early 30's who really still don't have everything together in their lives a few years down the line since becoming a parent.

 

[Lynx]

If they plan on having kids soon, then why the hell not. Women are at their most fertile in their late teens and possibly early twenties, and many lose that ability as early as thirty. And anyway, what does it matter? If you think marriage in itself is a sacred thing, I get why you're upset that people don't treat it as such, but if you don't, then why do you care if people jump in and out of it?

 

[sinshin]

I'm 21 and have been with my boyfriend two for years now, but I have absolutely no desire to get married until I'm at least 30. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and hope we spend a very long time together! But marriage really isn't a priority right now. I don't see what it would add to my life at this point in time either.

Similar to you, I know lots of people getting married at a similar age to me. My cousin is two years older than me, and she's getting married next year. I also have several friends who are engaged, and within a really short time of getting together. The amount of people I know having kids is shocking too. It just blows my mind!

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

My brother married my sister-in-law at ripe-old-age of 20 last September. They had a child together previous to that.

He was born last July. They're happy enough, I think.

 

[EeveeElectro]

You know, I was watching Challenge (TV channel) and I was watching a really old episode of Family Fortunes (I was bored and ill, don't judge me) it must have been from the late 70s-80s. One of the contestants was an 17 year old man who looked about 45. The host (I think it was Max Bygraves) asked him "How old are you?" when the contestant replied 17 he was in there like a questioning ninja with "And are you married?"

I nearly spat my lemsip out, married at 17 seems barmy to me! The host just more or less expected him to be married, although he said he was engaged. It's crazy how times change, back then if you got married at 17 it was expected and fine. Now people just think you're stupid and rushing things.

One of my old school friends got married last year, she's been on and off with him for 6 years. They seem to be doing good and I can't imagine them ever splitting up. People are sometimes so blinded with "I want the perfect wedding, I want to be a fairy princess!" ideas they aren't focusing on thinking about how truly happy they are with someone.

I don't want to get married -if I ever do, not really considering it- for at least another 7-10 years.

 

[Ihrgoth]

It really depends on maturity level when it comes to marriage, I know people who are married and only 19. I know people who got married when they were 21, I even have a friend who is finally dating at the age of 30. So some people are mature enough at 18 to get married. Some people aren't mature enough until they are 21 or 25. I'm also a Christian so I believe Marriage is a sacred commitment for life. And it is also a legally binding piece of paper. But at its core it is a sacred vow for Christians. Now me personally I'm single and in college so I probably won't get married any time soon. Also I don't feel mature enough for marriage. But eventually I will. So there that is my opinion. And don't crucify me for being a Christian...ok that was a bad joke.

 

[Berithil]

22 is young for marriage?! Most of my peers I know growing up are already married, and I'm 20. Heck, I know a couple who got engaged at 17, and set their wedding for the week after she turned 18. In fact another couple I know (he's 20, she's 21) are getting married in a couple weeks.

No, 22 is NOT too young for marriage.

 

[Griffolion]

-snip-

I'm 24 and engaged. I found the woman I wish to spend the rest of my days with, and thus moved to seek her hand in marriage. Being a religious person, the affirmations my religion gives regarding marriage can be found within the full scope of my motivations (which i'm sure most denizens of the Escapist would like to tear me a new one over, this is the internet after all); but the main meat of my motivations came from simply wanting to spend my life with her and to do so by engaging in this long standing tradition that the both of us assign value to.

If you don't assign value to marriage, then great. Western society thankfully accommodates the vast majority of co-habitation arrangements; and with the moving through of gay-marriage laws, hopefully the scope of people that can engage in the full spectrum of co-habitation arrangements is increased even further.

I know people who got married at 19 and were parents at 20 (one such couple are very close friends). I know couple who both met each other while in their forties, and married each other. They were each others' first spouse.

I personally don't think it's got anything to do with age, unless you want it to. If you decide you're too young, then great, you wait until you feel you're ready to marry (if ever).

Two people meet, get the unshakeable sense that this is the person they wish to spend their life with (speaking from personal experience), assign high value to the tradition of marriage, and thus go ahead and do it.

 

[leviathanmisha]

I'm 21 and I'll admit that I find the thought of being tied to one person for the rest of my life at this age is mildly terrifying. But I can also admit that a lot of that comes from watching my parent's trainwreck of a marriage, even though they weren't exactly young people. For some people, it works. I have a pair of friends who are 21 and 20 and engaged, and while they can fight like cats and dogs, I know that they're very in love with one another and very loyal to each other.

Have I completely ruled out the idea of getting married? No. But I also realize that I may have not found "the one" yet, even though the thought of keeping my girlfriend around for approximately forever is a very satisfying one.

 

[Dragonbums]

I know a couple of Facebook who are married now at 18.
Of course their marriage was more of a result of the woman getting pregnant more than anything.

I personally don't care unless they are very close to me. I just don't want to be involved in others personal business.
I just hope they keep their drama bombs off of Facebook.
Especially where I live.

On that note, after thinking long and hard I don't think I would ever be the marrying type.
I'm just going to go the life partner route.
Find a guy that agrees to an equal partnership where we all share the same roles.
Kids I have no clue.
Not interested in them one bit.
I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I am living with the one person I truly love for the rest of my life.

 

[Dragonbums]

I don't think 22 is particularly young to get married or have kids for that matter. It's on the younger side of things but not too young. In fact I think it should be encouraged. There has been a drop in fertility and that is partly because people are having kids at an older age and the older you get the worse a woman becomes at "making babies". Getting into committed relationships and having some kids at an early age is vital to turning around the problem of an aging population that a lot of first world nations are dealing with. At 22 you have been an adult for quite some time already and it isn't inappropriate to think like and make plans like an adult rather than a teenager.

Gonna have to disagree with that.
At 22 your are just a couple of years out of Highschool.
For many people, they are still in college.
They have yet to truly live their lives.
There is still traveling, partying, building your career, enjoying your career, and having a sense of independence.
I would even go as far as to say that not many people in today's age of 22 are living away from their parents yet.

Also, I don't like feeling like I have some sort of obligation to breed because the population is at a standstill. I don't have kids for the sake of anyone but my own personal being. No one is going to give me a thank you for contributing to the population.

 

[MHR]

Marriage is just another one of those silly things that most people get because they feel they "have" to. Some girl might get pressured by her family to getting a proper man and worrying about seen as a slut for just shacking up. Some guy gets pressured into it because she expects it or else she thinks he's not taking her seriously. They screw, get her pregnant, and then have to get married just to placate everyone else who would see them as sleezy people.

If that's the reason someone is doing it, that's stupid. It's all just over-complicating things. Messy divorces, feeling like you're "locked in" to a crappy life you hate, a big expensive stupid wedding, etc.

Marriage is stupid. except for legal things, there's no functional difference between people that get married and those living together forever.

Unless of course you're not the best catch and want to lock some sucker into being with you, or you're just getting old and want to limit the temptation of your partner from moving on.

 

[Ryotknife]

I don't think 22 is particularly young to get married or have kids for that matter. It's on the younger side of things but not too young. In fact I think it should be encouraged. There has been a drop in fertility and that is partly because people are having kids at an older age and the older you get the worse a woman becomes at "making babies". Getting into committed relationships and having some kids at an early age is vital to turning around the problem of an aging population that a lot of first world nations are dealing with. At 22 you have been an adult for quite some time already and it isn't inappropriate to think like and make plans like an adult rather than a teenager.

Gonna have to disagree with that.
At 22 your are just a couple of years out of Highschool.
For many people, they are still in college.
They have yet to truly live their lives.
There is still traveling, partying, building your career, enjoying your career, and having a sense of independence.
I would even go as far as to say that not many people in today's age of 22 are living away from their parents yet.

Also, I don't like feeling like I have some sort of obligation to breed because the population is at a standstill. I don't have kids for the sake of anyone but my own personal being. No one is going to give me a thank you for contributing to the population.

The teachers will thank you if your child is a decent student with work ethics/respect!

On the topic at hand. Considering the high divorce rate, it might be a good idea if people marry later on in life. To give themselves some independence and to establish a solid relationship and live life a little

 

[scorptatious]

I can never really imagine myself marrying young. I'm 21, still live at home, and I've never really been in a relationship before.

Part of me becomes somewhat envious whenever I hear of old friends or acquaintances getting married, and yet another part of me is afraid I wouldn't be up to that kind of commitment and responsibility. It's a weird feeling and I don't much care for it. :/