Mass Effect: Coalition -- { Started, Closed }

[CounterAttack]

Okay, guys, after reading the sheets over again, I see a fair few problems with some of them. I apologise in advance if I cause offence in any way. With that, here goes.

[hr]

-snip-

Your character is missing an important part of his bio. As a quarian, he would undergo the Pilgrimage, and experience life aboard a ship in the Migrant Fleet. Your character just 'starts' out of nowhere. Also, I need you to rewrite the Class and Talents entries to match the updated character sheet.

[hr]

-snip-

I still have an issue with your biography.

"On days when her clients were less intimate, she'd wear her armor under the dress, to be at the ready when the time was calling for it." Why does she do this? What purpose does this serve someone working for Sha'ira? It seems to me that there is a bit too much foreshadowing going on here, and not enough firewalling: keeping player knowledge separate from character knowledge.

[hr]

-snip-

- I feel that we have too many assassin characters.
- Your character has an entourage. I said in the OP that participants are allowed one character total. The only exception is in my case, since as GM I frequently need to be in multiple places at once.
- According to the sheet, Karo "spots threats before anyone else". I don't like this; I feel it gives you too much power over almost any given situation. It may even allow you to ignore things I specifically say as GM.
- "one of the greatest assassins in the universe" - I see very little in your character's bio that backs this up. What has he done to earn this title? Karo's biography doesn't go into much detail on this matter.
- On that note, I advise that you invest in paragraphing. The bio just looks like a wall of text.

[hr]

-snip-

- From first and second impressions, your character looks like a walking, talking contradiction/Mary Sue hybrid.
- - To clarify the contradiction note: he is a glory seeker, but ignores what other people say about him?
- The Mary Sue-ish elements of your character, that I can determine, are thus:
- - He is unharmed physically or psychologically by jumping on a live grenade.
- - "gleaming white hair" just screams Sue to me.
- - He was born on a moon that doesn't exist.
- - Ryan only became a biotic after receiving the implants? That's not the way it works. Human biotics have to receive a significant amount of exposure to element zero, either in-utero or secondary exposure at a young age.
- In addition to that which is already pointed out about your character's backstory, I note that you have Recarius personally visit Ryan. He sends out messages via the extranet or personal courier to all people he considers useful when building his team.
- As with Supertegwyn, Ryan's biography is just a wall of text. Split it up into a few paragraphs.

[hr]

-snip-

- As with Supertegwyn, I feel that we have too many assassin characters. Maybe I'll accept two, but Kole Yossar (Captainguy42) is looking like the best one out of the three.
- A "forgettable face that isn't bad-looking" is both a contradiction and a hint at trenchcoating, which I dislike in characters.
- I have a few issues with your character's bio.
- - James received a contract to kill Recarius? That treads far too close to the plot that will unfold as the RP progresses.
- - - Also, Recarius wouldn't offer a chance at redemption to someone out to kill him. I doubt anyone else would either. A bullet to the head would prevent the problem from reoccurring.
- - Again, as with the two above, your bio is a wall. Paragraphing, people.

[hr]

To sum up, some things to applicants who haven't submitted a sheet:
- There are too many assassin characters: there are other walks of life that have yet to be considered.
- Also, Jira'Kilaye nar Chatani and the two asari characters submitted are the only females present. Some sexual diversity would be much appreciated.

 

[mcpop9]

Spoiler: Sina Odisa

Name: Sina Odisa
Age: 231 standard galactic years born in 1953 CE, Maiden stage
Gender: Female
Race: Asari

Appearance: Sina is around 5ft 8 and has a deep sapphire blue skin complexion. she usually wears an extra light skintight armor, only capable of taking a few hits before failing. How ever the shields are tougher than normal to help keep Sina alive during combat with extra protection provided by her Power tech armor. She prefers the lighter armors due to their mobility and stealthiness.

On top of the armor, Sina wears the Asari consort's acolyte dress. On her face, she has white markings running down the sides of her face, accenting it perfectly. This gives Sina some respect and influence wherever she goes, not to mention hides the deadly biotic master under it.

Personality: After years of Biotic training and working for the Asari Consort. Sina has learned an impressive amount of self control over body language and emotions. There are times however when she needs to vent and let everything that was built up inside of her out.

During combat, Sina is level headed and thinks clearly. she prefers close quarters and hand to hand combat which is a rarity nowadays, but has become a decent shot with her heavy pistol.

Sina has also become a decent spy, using her mindset to be able to get into quiet a few places without raising suspicion and gather intelligence. she wouldn't dare to try and sabotage or assassinations because she feels they're too risky.

Profession: Acolyte and unofficial body guard for the Asari consort Sha'ira

Talents: Sina can manipulate her emotions to a high degree and is a biotic. Being an acolyte, she can afford the highest quality of implants. While being stealthy is her preferred style, in a pinch she can plow through enemies with relative ease. she has perfected a few talents, Heavy shockwave, heavy slam and heavy singularity. Sina also has power tech armor to help defend herself.

Due to her control of emotions, Sina can be extremely convincing even when she's flat out lying. Also, while dancing and then working for the consort, Sina has gained some special talents to "relieve stress" and can be very "influential" when dealing with people.

Possessions: Sina doesn't bring much with her. Her personal items are her Acolyte dress, acolyte makeup and a letter given to her by the Asari consort, which she keeps on her at all times.
Military wise, she keeps her light armor and an old Harpy pistol, pre-thermal clip era. it has a heat sink but over heats quickly and packs quite a punch. she also has a basic omni-tool to control banking and her Tech armor.

Biography: Sina was born on the citadel to an Asari mother and a Turian father. she was brought up by them until age 12 when she was sent off to a school to hone her biotic powers. she stayed at this school until she was 30 and she left for the citadel again. Sina, still being young and adventurous, got a job at a club called Archos. she worked here for about forty years, becoming the top dancer there. After Fist took over the club, Sina left. she got a job as a dancer at another club on the citadel and worked there until she was 100.

Sina had known about the Asari consort Sha'ira, and decided to schedule an appointment. after the appointment, Sina had become intrigued by the consort, Sina begged Sha'ira to take her in as an Acolyte. After a few more visits and month's of passive requests Sha'ira accepted Sina into her acolytes


Sina was tasked with the more "intimate" needs of the clients due to her previous profession. over time she became friends with Sha'ira and was trained in emotional control by the consort. Everything was fine until the Geth invasion of the citadel.

Sina was moving in a decent apartment on the citadel after being accepted as an acolyte, and due to the restrictions on the apartment, she wasn't allowed to house any military equipment in it. After explaining the dilemma to Sha'ira, the consort let her house her gear in the spare storage space at the consorts chambers.


When the invasion started, Sina was in utter-shock but kept her calm due to her training of mind and body. After retrieving her gear from the storage rooms, She helped hold off the Geth that were assaulting the consorts offices and stood by Sha'ira's side while they escorted the rest of the acolytes to the Consorts private ship. they fought through two squads of Geth and three geth destroyer to get them to the ship.

While Sha'ira was extremely proud, she didn't want to have another Asari viewed as her equal. After the assault, news of the acolyte who stood with the consort spread almost as quick as Shepard defeating the Geth invasion. no one knew Sina's name but the rest of the acolytes and Sha'ira. Sha'ira made the rest of the acolytes swear not to give up Sina's name to anyone.

A year after the attacks, The consort heard that a specter she was fond of was assembling a team and
wanted to give the man a gift, a sign of respect. she just had to break it to Sina now.


Notes: Don't think of Sina as an assassin but as an infiltrator and spy, she know what risks are involved and doesn't want to take them in order to kill someone.

Ok, updated the sheet. criticism is always appreciated, it only helps me help you.

 

[Outcast107]

Spoiler: Updated Bio

Name: Raz?jin nar Rayya

Age: 35 standard galactic years; born in 2150 CE.

Gender: Male

Race: Quarian

Possessions: The only possession he carries is his weapons. He enjoys the M-8 Avenger and has customized it to his liking of shooting more accurate. He also carries the M-23 Katana Shotgun for close quarter combat. He also carries the M-3 Predator for his heavy pistol sidearm. He is a skill shooter with these three and has used them ever since he first got them during his training with his mercenary group.

Appearance: He stands around 5?8 with the stander uniform of quarians on their Pilgrimages. Though with his line of work he upgraded it so he can take large amounts of hits and not worry about his suit opening up and he dies of a sickness. His suit has been repainted with a red and black mix to represent his fallen comrads of his Oblivion Group.

Personality: After the death of his group he became more of a loner and felt like it was all his fault. When he takes a few sides jobs around Omega, he would shoot first and ask question later. He normally doesn't want to get to know anyone so he won't feel the same pain like he did before. Though once you earn his trust and get to know him he pretty loyal. He would gladly risk his live for his comrads since he wasn't able to during the Blue Suns attack. He also feel shame for spending his life for his Merencary band instead of trying to find ways to help his people which he views as the greatest dishonor he could have done.

Profession: He use to be a mercenary though the only survivor of the attack by the Blue Suns. He works at a dead-end job at selling ship parts. Though when he has time he normally accept jobs around Omega to see if he still has what it takes to shoot.

Talents: He very handy with the guns he carries with him. From using his rifle all the way down to his heavy pistol he knows how his guns work to the full potential. He excel at medium to close range firing. Though when he thinks he being out number or his gun over heated, he resorts to his Bionic power of a heavy throw.

Biography:

While Raz?jin was growing up on the flotilla, he never got to know his mother due to surprise attack by pirates. Growing up with his father, who was a soldier, he felt alone most of the time. When he was old enough to hold a gun his father started training him how to use guns. Though his happy period of his life of having a parent in his life came to a end when his father was unlucky to be on a ship that had a air-born sickness and his suit had a tear in it. After his father death, he wanted to do something in his honor as well help out with his fellow Quarian kin. So he decided to gain enough money as well as training with firearms to better their soldier so they can hold out on their on.

Raz'jin started his journey in the low underworld of Omega. Though he was mug of his money after he turn to a bad alleyway. Down on his luck, he was trying to look for work to get something to eat. He saw a new mercenary group forming up under the name of the Oblivions. The Oblivions were a number of ex-military forces and other mercenary who got tired with how their groups work. So they took in Raz'jin as they needed a tech expert. They slowly train Raz'jin to handle weapons, which he got a hang of with in the first few months.

During one of the early mission, Raz'jin took a hit badly and nearly died. Though it wasn't from the shot but more from his suit open up and he was getting sick. The medic of the Oblivion helps him and within a month he was over his sickness and ready to return to duty, though soon after he earn enough money he upgrade to a better suit so he can take more hits. They work a number of different jobs from security work to assassination of other gangs. As he rose in the ranks of the Oblivions, he was offer biotic upgrades due to his achievements in battle. He gladly accepted them as he could use it if something gets to close to his liking.

Though all that came in a end when the Blue Suns got tired of the Oblivions taking their clients and would rather not have a fourth mercenary group forming. The Oblivion members were killed one by one by bombings or ambushing them when they were alone. All that was left after a few months was Raz'jin. He was ready for the hit and wanted it so he can join his friends in the after-life. Though that never came to him as he got a recording from the Blue Suns that they were going to let him live so he could spread the word of what happen to his group as well to be made a example of. Now Raz'jin lives alone and hardly talks to the others. Though word still gets around of who he is and what he can do with a good rifle in his hands.

The only reason he doesn't feel like returning home is due to living to much for himself and his friends and not enough for his people. A deep shame he still holds close to him. Now he tries to make up for it by offering any Qurian he see some help in any way he can. Though when he does feel like returning, he would only do it once he feel at peace within himself. Though he think that will only happen once he gets his revenge against the Blue Suns for what they did. Then he can return and use his training as well as credits he earn from missions to better equip and train the soldiers to protect themselves from outside danger.

After he came back from his job from selling ship parts he got a recording of joining up with a Specter. Not sure what it would come of it but he decides to join up. As he was getting tired of his dead-end job and wanted to feel some real action again. He also wishes secretly that they would get to see some Blue Suns so he can return the favor to them for what they did.

Fully updated bio. IF any more things that needs changing just say so. I don't mind keep editing to make this Rp great.

 

[Issurru]

Well holy crap, at the time of writing that I didn't even see the contradiction in his bio, twice. Thanks for pointing out the horribleness of writing after being up all night... [small] couldn't even remember the fact that the moon is Titan, not Titus wow /facepalm[/small]

I will rewrite his bio asap

 

[Issurru]

Spoiler: Ryan, revamped

Name: Ryan Warrick

Age: 29

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Appearance: If it wasn't for his gleaming white hair, Ryan would go by unnoticed by almost anyone he meets. He is a Caucasian male who stands just over 6 feet tall (6'1 to be exact), has dark blue eyes and a somewhat refined athletic build to his body, more so toned and defined than overly muscular.
Ryan also wears a necklace with a design that matches the tattoos on the underside of his arms, the tattoos seem somewhat tribal being that they look to be a somewhat random assortment of shapes and symbols. But these tattoos are usually covered up by his long-sleeve shirts that he wears to keep himself toasty warm. He is usually found wearing black or darker colored clothes in order to offset his bright colored hair.

Personality: Ryan is a rather outspoken and blunt person who likes to tell people when they're beginning to "overstay" their welcome in his presence. Ryan is usually cheerful and upbeat when with his friends or colleagues but tends to have a short fuse towards most other people. Some might say that "he's a little rough around the edges" which is true even though he would never openly admit that he can be a complete jerk at times. Ryan also has a fear of explosions due to a traumatic experience while training, hearing explosions around him makes him "jittery" and nervous and he tends to be more cautious and prone to making more mistakes

Class: Sentinel

Profession: Advanced Firearms Trainer

Talents: Ryan is a crack shot with his Heavy Pistol, preferring to take out his enemies at mid range so he relies on the few biotic abilities he has like Throw or Cryo Blast to keep them at bay but relies on his power armor for when he chooses to get up close and personal with his targets. Ryan isn't the smoothest talker or the quietest of walkers either which can make his job much harder than it normally is. Ryan is also somewhat competent with computers as he had nothing to do for a few months while stuck in the infirmary.

Possessions: Ryan is a fan of accurate weapons so his main weapon of choice is the M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon heavy pistol, but he also likes his M-12 Locust for when things get a little too hectic and he needs to keep his enemies on their toes. Ryan carries with him a set of light combat armor along with his standard issue omni-tool.

Biography: Born on the planet Arvuna, in the Caleston Rift star cluster. Ryan was born into a militaristic family, one who believed in attaining power and using it to do as they pleased. In doing so, while Ryan's mother was pregnant she was exposed to a high amount of Element Zero while she stayed in a military infirmary. So when he was born Ryan was identified as having eezo nodules throughout his body, so his family did what they would naturally do and tried to get him exposed to as much element zero as they could. They chose to risk their son's life in order to attain more power, seeing as how exposure to Element Zero can cause brain tumors or other horrific physical complications or disfigurements. They had Ryan undergo surgery for a Bio-amp in order to maximize his potential as a biotic, they inevitably found out that even though he was exposed to plenty Element Zero, Ryan was not that strong a biotic. Ryan's family quickly cast him aside and began to shun him as they prepared to have another child.

After being thrown out of his home at such a young age, Ryan became distraught and distant from those around him. He would wander around the city he lived in looking for shelters as well as places to find food, when one day he met a recruitment officer who took advantage of Ryan's situation. He promised him food and shelter but told him that he would have to join the academy in order to get a safe place to stay and clean food to eat. Ryan, seeing no other option reluctantly agreed to join the academy. At first he didn't care much about being there, he hardly talked and didn't really have any friends because anything he did say was usually drowned in sarcasm or cynical. After a year at the academy Ryan began to warm up to the place, it wasn't as bad as he thought. They kept him sheltered and fed, they taught him survival tactics and how to make use of his biotics, and they even taught him a thing or two about computers and how to pilot a few vehicles.

A few months later Ryan was a part of a "Training Accident" (as the academy would call it) As per the drill they would throw a "dummy", or "training" grenade. Ryan dove onto the grenade and unbeknownst to him it was live, the grenade blew up and sent him flying into a wall giving him a severe concussion and breaking around half a dozen ribs. He spent over a month recovering from the explosion and also spent a few months with a psychiatrist to try and overcome his new found fear of explosions in order to continue training as a soldier.

When Ryan finally returned to the academy everyone in his troop was overjoyed to see him. They heralded him as a hero, which he didn't quite mind but didn't exactly think it was true since it wasn't anything more than a natural reaction and the luck of it only being a concussion grenade. After the accident Ryan trained harder and harder in order to make up for all the time he lost while he was in the hospital, in that time he became a phenomenal marksman. He became good enough to warrant the attention of the administrator of the academy who saw his great potential as both a teacher and a soldier. He offered Ryan a job as a teacher in the academy so he could show his skills off to the newer recruits, but still have time to refine his own techniques. Ryan jumped at the opportunity and quickly accepted the job where he only further improved as a marksman and a biotic testing the limits of his powers, trying to see if his training affected how much it drained him to use any of his biotics or if it would increase his biotic power. It helped a bit but not as much as he had hoped, he was at best a mediocre biotic, he couldn't hold a candle to any of the real adepts in the academy so he then chose to focus more so on the defensive side of biotics.

Unbeknownst to Ryan the academy's administrator was keeping an eye on Ryan's progress as he continued to train. The administrator called in a few favors to see if Ryan might have what it takes to be more than just a teacher and he was able to secure a meeting with a spectre's courier in a few weeks time.

Also, I now have a Skype account. Name is Issurru

Edit: Done now, sorry about the terribleness (huh, that's an actual word? Didn't know that) of my earlier bio, I had two different idea's for his back-story and personality but forgot to get rid of some of it. I hope this one is better, tell me if you want/need anything changed since i'm pretty much going off of the Mass Effect Wiki since I can remember jack squat about the games and setting

 

[Mr.Ivebeenframed]

I saw this thread and this looks very interesting. I looked at the recent posts too and bookmarked it but I never got the chance to make a sheet until now. Hope this fits your criteria.

Spoiler: Character Sheet

Name: Valerie D'Argonne

Age: 36 Galatic Standard years

Gender: Female

Race:Human

Appearance: Freckles pockmark her flat, square face. A near-vertical scar runs parallel from her left eye to the bridge of her nose. Her overcast grey eyes are a bland shade of steel-blue but stand out among the crowd or at least where she lived. Her blonde hair is cut extremely short which spikes out. Her form is slender and nothing too outstanding. Even at 5'11 and 119 she considers herself awkward and unwieldy at times despite her toned muscles and excellent posture. Clothes are normal and nothing too outstanding from a 36 year old but in combat she dons a black and crimson Aegis Vest, a used Kuwashii Visor, one dented Asymmetric Defense Layer left shoulder pad, and leather assault pants with a drop-leg emergency triage kit on her right leg.

Personality: Reserved and cautious are the humble words that Valerie gives herself when she needs to describe her personality. She is half right because Valerie is usually reserved but she is quick to lash out when accused. Valeria knows that the universe is a big place and she is often the first to volunteer for the first drop to not only help but also see the view. Years of saving lives has brought her a calmness to treating lacerations, burns, ballistic wounds, and the more common cuts. She takes to her work with a calm demeanor bordering a meditative state. In combat she is sufficient and takes down those that have been ordered too. She follows her orders to the fullest with her mind and confirm them with her rifle or her other skills.

Profession: A medic by heart but using her other talents to act as a relief worker for the slums and providing her medical expertise to help alleviate the pain. Her most recent assignment is being forced to be a make-shift doctor for the Blue Suns in their recent little turf war.

Talents: Trained in the arts of on-the-field medical application for mostly human but also xenolife forms and even in that Valerie has only proficiency in Turian, Asari, and Batarian bodies when there are so much more out there. Also her firearm skills are sufficient and reliable when needed. Heavy pistols are what Valerie sticks to in most situations. Also an omni-tool is constantly by her side with numerous modifications for extra medi-gel. Not only that but the extensive medical modifications has given Valerie's Omnitool the ability to deliver a neural shock to enemies if they are close enough thus reducing them to a seizure-induced individual if the attack is close enough. Otherwise the neural shock lives up to its name and shocks the individual, slowing them down or distracting them.

Possessions:Besides previously mentioned armor Valerie carries a M-4 Shuriken as main her weapon with an increased Heat Sink Capacity, Microfield Pular, and Phasic Jacketing. Also clothes that she has stockpiled in her home, some reading books, and a framed medical degree.

Spoiler: Biography

Spoiler: Personal Stuff

Daughter to two French doctors Valerie was already on the pedestal for herself to become a practitioner of medicine as well but her parents were increasingly xenophobic as time progressed painting a negative view of aliens in young Valerie's mind. It was no surprise that the parents lived on Earth and insisted on living in the few Human-only recesses of society. Then the parents volunteered to be colonists on a planet bordering the dangerous Terminus System. Over-confident of the Alliance Military the parents and Valerie hastily went aboard and after a long trip landed on the planet.

The first few months were hard and to her parent's dismay there were also Salarians on the colony as well, not knowing that the colony was a joint-species endeavor . Both the parents were already doctors but one of the Salarians, Delnara, was an apothecary. The parents bit their pride and worked(often coldly) with Delnara. Valerie became friends with Delnara and soon learned a few things from him about Salarian and other races like the Turians or the Batarians due to the fact that Delnara was a medic with the elite STG before being discharged.

This very much inspired Valerie herself to be a medic in the Alliance Military despite the critical nature of her parents. Delnara was incredibly humble about the entire incident even after the parents confronted him and told him to stop talking to their daughter.

Then one day a medium-sized space rock hit the planet. The colony was a relatively far distance from the impact zone so minimal damage occurred. A small detachment of the colony's Alliance Marines investigated the impact zone despite the heeds from Delnara to stay. The marines ignored him and soon after they could not be reached. A few days later the ground shook as a Thresher Maw attacked the colony. The Marines stationed were quickly decimated and a large number of colonists were slaughtered.

The only things that Valerie remembered of the event was her and her parents being trapped in the clinic. Someone pounding on the door which later revealed himself to be Delnara. Her parents' refusal to let him in. Darkness followed by the roar of the Thresher Maw. Darkness followed by light. The sight of Delnara trying to resuscitate both her parents despite their refusal of saving his life. The Thresher Maw then bright explosions. Delnara covering her. The shine of lights on a ship's medical bay.

Valerie joined the Alliance Military in her young adult years. Early on she already displayed and applied her extensive medical expertise with both human and alien life forms albeit only basic medical knowledge with the latter. She excelled her medical classes and on the field her steady hands were equally invaluable with the rifle although she has excelled with Pistols and submachine guns. Even with light-speed technology in terms of medical equipment in an actual hospital or properly equipped clinics, a scalpel was still rather useful on the battlefield. Medi-gel did its job amazingly but once those ran out Valerie has to resort to using old-fashioned techniques.

After her service in the Alliance Navy with the 10th Frontier Division and her duties aboard the SSV Budapest of which she had resuscitated 3 wounded soldiers, cared for 5 wounded marines in the thick of fire, and treated scores of recently freed slaves from a pirate slaver ship.

With nowhere else to go and low on money Valerie sought work as a freelance medic in the slums of Omega, using her old mentor's home as a place to stay. Her old mentor had died shortly after Valerie had become an Alliance Marine and handed her the keys to his small loft. From there she had worked mostly with the Blue Suns in superficial proxy wars inside Omega's slums. Numerous gangs of thugs were quickly hired to compensate for the eroding control in the Gozu district and Valerie was caught in the thick of it.

A firefight occurred near Valerie's loft between the Blue Suns's thugs and Eclipse Mercenaries. The cause of the firefight is still not known to Valerie but once the firing stopped Valerie stepped out to find scores of wounded from both sides. One by one she brought back Human, Batarian, and Turian to heal. First she treated the Blue Suns then the Eclipse but soon a squad of Vorcha sporting the Blood Pack symbol took hold of moment and attacked the wounded. Valerie held her ground and shot down the Vorcha squad while dealing with the wounded. She healed the Eclipse separately, not wanting another firefight in her own apartment.

Soon after Blue Suns mercenaries fetched their wounded and licked their wounds after fighting through to get to Valerie's apartment. She hadn't told them of the Eclipse mercenaries that she treated in her own bathroom and they hadn't caught it either. When the Blue Suns left Valerie hurriedly made the Eclipse mercenaries leave as well, healing them enough for them to make it out. As payment Valerie had received a handsome amount of pay from both sides and spare armor to boot.

After spending her lump sum of money a message arrived for her from a Specter named Recarius. Interested Valerie made her way to the coordinates wondering what exactly the turian wanted.

Notes: Valerie can speak english but her first language was solely french which results in a slight accent.

Of course I always take criticism and my skype name is the same as my escapist name. If I forgot anything please tell me.

Edit: I revised a bit after a look over.

 

[staika]

Okay, guys, after reading the sheets over again, I see a fair few problems with some of them. I apologise in advance if I cause offence in any way. With that, here goes.

-snip-

- As with Supertegwyn, I feel that we have too many assassin characters. Maybe I'll accept two, but Kole Yossar (Captainguy42) is looking like the best one out of the three.
- A "forgettable face that isn't bad-looking" is both a contradiction and a hint at trenchcoating, which I dislike in characters.
- I have a few issues with your character's bio.
- - James received a contract to kill Recarius? That treads far too close to the plot that will unfold as the RP progresses.
- - - Also, Recarius wouldn't offer a chance at redemption to someone out to kill him. I doubt anyone else would either. A bullet to the head would prevent the problem from reoccurring.
- - Again, as with the two above, your bio is a wall. Paragraphing, people.
To sum up, some things to applicants who haven't submitted a sheet:

Man I tried to be different but looks like I failed >.>

Now before I go to edit my sheet what would you ultimately like my character to be I can Role-play as anything so whatever type of character you need, I can do that. This way I don't have to guess what you want and I can fill a need.

 

[Outcast107]

Snip

well I'm no Gm but I may offer some help. Why not be a Salarians or a Krogan. We don't have any of those yet. The Salarian could be another medic or a *clears throat* "A Salarian scientist."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXiU6kiq_Ms

XD

While the Krogan be another type of soldier since we have to few of those so far. But hey its up to you really, I doubt the GM will care just as long as we don't have to many assassins.

(Assassin are like Ninja, when their to many they all suck. When their just one he rocks.)

 

[staika]

Snip

well I'm no Gm but I may offer some help. Why not be a Salarians or a Krogan. We don't have any of those yet. The Salarian could be another medic or a *clears throat* "A Salarian scientist."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXiU6kiq_Ms

XD

While the Krogan be another type of soldier since we have to few of those so far. But hey its up to you really, I doubt the GM will care just as long as we don't have to many assassins.

(Assassin are like Ninja, when their to many they all suck. When their just one he rocks.)

Maybe I will be a krogan soldier!

Can't believe we don't have many soldiers that's what I thought everyone was going to be >.>

 

[CounterAttack]

Man I tried to be different but looks like I failed >.>

Now before I go to edit my sheet what would you ultimately like my character to be I can Role-play as anything so whatever type of character you need, I can do that. This way I don't have to guess what you want and I can fill a need.

Given the characters that have been submitted thus far, I'm okay with things that haven't been done yet. I will say, though, that one of my Skype friends who has expressed interest, but has yet to make an appearance in this thread, will write either a krogan or turian character.

 

[staika]

Spoiler: James Crespo

Name: James Crespo
Age: 23 galactic standard years.
Gender: Male
Race: Human

Appearance: James is a Caucasian male who stands at 6'2" who has short brown hair and a forgettable face. He is muscular and has a tattoo on his right upper arm which is a dragon curled around a sword. In combat he wears pitch black heavy armor that has some red splatter marks on it that he added to represent the blood of his enemies, he also wears a Kuwashii Visor and has a large combat knife on his right leg. in his normal clothes he wears long black pants, a black shirt, and a hat that has the alliance military logo on it which he wears revearsed.

Personality: James is a joker by nature and likes to make jokes even in battle. He takes pressure well and likes to try and lift his squadmates spirits with his jokes in battle. He is also fearless and will do knuckleheaded stuff if he thinks he needs to or it is required of him.

Profession: Soldier, James is pure combat specialist and is skilled with most weapons. James is also quite strong for a human and handles close quarters combat very well and knows various killing moves while unarmed.

Possessions: His armor (obviously), a M-76 Revanent, a M-9 Tempest, a M-6 Carnifex, a M-23 Katana, a M-92 Mantis, his trusty Combat Knife, and golden coin that says "Never Retreat Never Surrender" (given to him by his father)

Biography: Born on the planet Earth, James was born to a normal family where his dad was an accountant at a big firm and his mother was a doctor. For the first 10 years of his life James lived an ordinary life until his uncle retired from the alliance military. James was a small kid for his age and was made fun of and when his uncle saw this he started to train James to become stronger so the other kids wouldn't make fun of him.

For the next 5 years James trained with his uncle to become stronger while he was becoming stronger he was still short for his age. Hoping to have a skill to impress the other kids with James asked his uncle to train him on how to shoot guns which his uncle accepted. It was soon discovered that james was a natural shot and impressed his uncle on how well he shot all his weapons.

After about 4 years James had a growth spurt and got to be around 6'2" tall and was very strong and muscualr because of all the training he went through. James not happy with is life so far he decided that he wanted to join the Alliance Military and help the galaxy. His family supported the idea and he enlisted the next day. On his last day on earth before being shipped out they had a party for him where his father gave him a gold coin that said "Never Retreat Never Surrender" and told him to live his life by that motto and that he should never regreat what he does and to never look back and worry about them.

After boot camp he was assigned to the SSV Gettysburg (ships were named after great human battles and this was the first thing I could think of ) a Frigate that went around fighting slavers and raiders. It was quickly learned by the commander of the ship that James was a very good fighter and was the reason they won some battles like they did.

The mission that stood out in his dossier is his involvement in a battle with raiders on one of the new settlement planets. What happened is that they caught wind of a plan the raiders had to attack a small settlement. The SSV Gettysburg sent a squad of 20 to deal with the assault their thinking was that since it was a small settlement it would be a small attack party. That wasn't the case as the attacking raiders had an attacking force of about 200.

Vastly outnumbered the alliance soldiers split up their sqaud to 6-7 groups which would defend a side and James was one of the 6 that was tasked with dealing with the brunt of the attackers that were coming straight on to the village. At one point in the battle one of James squadmates was thrown into the middle of the battlefield which did not have cover by a biotic. The soldier was shot about 4 times and couldn't move. James then braved the no mans land and rushed to the wounded soldier and brought him back to their area and James was shot 2 times in the process. James gave almost all of his medigel to the wounded soldier and took only a little himself only enough to close the wounds.

After about 6 hours of combat Alliance reinforcements arrived and the raiders attack was repelled. James was the only reason that the settlement was still standing and had a confirmed kill count of around 90. When the medics got to him they said that it was amazing that he was alive with all the blood he lost. When the Commander went topside to the planet he looked at james and asked why he was so damaged James replied "Sir, I was just doing my job and my job was to keep the raiders from touching that village!"

While he was recovering from the battle the news of battle became hush hush news and the offical report was that the group of soldiers were only attacked by about 30 raiders and defeated them easily. The actual news reached the ears of Recarius Kallidan and he was impressed with the ability of the hero of the battle.

Kallidan then went to the Field hospital where James was recovering and offered him a position in his squad. James was hesitant at first but after his squadmates told him to go he decided to take Kallidan up on his offer and decided to join him in his squad. Kallidan told James to meet him at an apartment on Omega when he recovered from his wounds.

After recovering from his wounds he said goodbye to his old squad and headed to Omega to meet up with Kallidan and the rest of his new squad.

Here is my new edited sheet. My guy is now a human soldier, I know we have some humans now but I feel the most comfortable as a human but if you really want I can change it to something else.

Again if there is anything out of place I can edit it ^-^

 

[Supertegwyn]

I have edited my sheet.

 

[CounterAttack]

-snip-

- The Revenant Assault Rifle is noted on the Mass Effect Wiki as being a highly expensive weapon. I doubt a soldier, on a soldier's salary, could afford to buy one and regularly maintain it to keep it in top-notch condition.

General Announcement: On that note, for future reference, the following weapons are prohibited due to their rarity, price, and - in the case of the Widow and Claymore - the fact that they can't be fired without the user breaking an arm:
M-76 Revenant Assault Rifle, M-98 Widow Sniper Rifle, M-300 Claymore Shotgun.

- Why would the Alliance military downplay a victory where they were outnumbered ten to one? Seems a bit contradictory to human nature.

- As I have said to others, Recarius doesn't personally visit people when recruiting. He sends messages via the extranet or courier, and they come to him at the time he arranges instead of the other way around.

-snip-

I have one last issue with your character: How did he gain his biotic Throw power? Quarian biotics are insanely rare, for good reason.

I have edited my sheet.

Thank you, that looks better.

 

[Outcast107]

wiki

Hmm I did not think of that. It was also due to having a third talent outside his class but since all that change then I don't need it so I'll edit it asap.

 

[mcpop9]

I have to say, with your knowledge of the universe and the pickyness of the char sheets [its meant to be a compliment], This RP looks good weather or not i'm in it.

 

[staika]

-snip-

- The Revenant Assault Rifle is noted on the Mass Effect Wiki as being a highly expensive weapon. I doubt a soldier, on a soldier's salary, could afford to buy one and regularly maintain it to keep it in top-notch condition.

General Announcement: On that note, for future reference, the following weapons are prohibited due to their rarity, price, and - in the case of the Widow and Claymore - the fact that they can't be fired without the user breaking an arm:
M-76 Revenant Assault Rifle, M-98 Widow Sniper Rifle, M-300 Claymore Shotgun.

- Why would the Alliance military downplay a victory where they were outnumbered ten to one? Seems a bit contradictory to human nature.

- As I have said to others, Recarius doesn't personally visit people when recruiting. He sends messages via the extranet or courier, and they come to him at the time he arranges instead of the other way around.

I never read the article on the weapon I just chose which looked the coolest to be honest

I also downplayed my characters little triumph because I didn't want him to be super famous kind of like commander shepard but yeah it does sound like something the alliance wouldn't do I'll just make it so the squad as a whole gets a little famous.

Spoiler: James Crespo

Name: James Crespo
Age: 23 galactic standard years.
Gender: Male
Race: Human

Appearance: James is a Caucasian male who stands at 6'2" who has short brown hair and a forgettable face. He is muscular and has a tattoo on his right upper arm which is a dragon curled around a sword. In combat he wears pitch black heavy armor that has some red splatter marks on it that he added to represent the blood of his enemies, he also wears a Kuwashii Visor and has a large combat knife on his right leg. in his normal clothes he wears long black pants, a black shirt, and a hat that has the alliance military logo on it which he wears revearsed.

Personality: James is a joker by nature and likes to make jokes even in battle. He takes pressure well and likes to try and lift his squadmates spirits with his jokes in battle. He is also fearless and will do knuckleheaded stuff if he thinks he needs to or it is required of him.

Profession: Soldier, James is pure combat specialist and is skilled with most weapons. James is also quite strong for a human and handles close quarters combat very well and knows various killing moves while unarmed.

Possessions: His armor (obviously), a M-15 Vindicator, a M-9 Tempest, a M-6 Carnifex, a M-23 Katana, a M-92 Mantis, his trusty Combat Knife, and golden coin that says "Never Retreat Never Surrender" (given to him by his father)

Biography: Born on the planet Earth, James was born to a normal family where his dad was an accountant at a big firm and his mother was a doctor. For the first 10 years of his life James lived an ordinary life until his uncle retired from the alliance military. James was a small kid for his age and was made fun of and when his uncle saw this he started to train James to become stronger so the other kids wouldn't make fun of him.

For the next 5 years James trained with his uncle to become stronger while he was becoming stronger he was still short for his age. Hoping to have a skill to impress the other kids with James asked his uncle to train him on how to shoot guns which his uncle accepted. It was soon discovered that james was a natural shot and impressed his uncle on how well he shot all his weapons.

After about 4 years James had a growth spurt and got to be around 6'2" tall and was very strong and muscualr because of all the training he went through. James not happy with is life so far he decided that he wanted to join the Alliance Military and help the galaxy. His family supported the idea and he enlisted the next day. On his last day on earth before being shipped out they had a party for him where his father gave him a gold coin that said "Never Retreat Never Surrender" and told him to live his life by that motto and that he should never regreat what he does and to never look back and worry about them.

After boot camp he was assigned to the SSV Gettysburg (ships were named after great human battles and this was the first thing I could think of ) a Frigate that went around fighting slavers and raiders. It was quickly learned by the commander of the ship that James was a very good fighter and was the reason they won some battles like they did.

The mission that stood out in his dossier is his involvement in a battle with raiders on one of the new settlement planets. What happened is that they caught wind of a plan the raiders had to attack a small settlement. The SSV Gettysburg sent a squad of 20 to deal with the assault their thinking was that since it was a small settlement it would be a small attack party. That wasn't the case as the attacking raiders had an attacking force of about 200.

Vastly outnumbered the alliance soldiers split up their sqaud to 6-7 groups which would defend a side and James was one of the 6 that was tasked with dealing with the brunt of the attackers that were coming straight on to the village. At one point in the battle one of James squadmates was thrown into the middle of the battlefield which did not have cover by a biotic. The soldier was shot about 4 times and couldn't move. James then braved the no mans land and rushed to the wounded soldier and brought him back to their area and James was shot 2 times in the process. James gave almost all of his medigel to the wounded soldier and took only a little himself only enough to close the wounds.

After about 6 hours of combat Alliance reinforcements arrived and the raiders attack was repelled. James was the only reason that the settlement was still standing and had a confirmed kill count of around 90. When the medics got to him they said that it was amazing that he was alive with all the blood he lost. When the Commander went topside to the planet he looked at james and asked why he was so damaged James replied "Sir, I was just doing my job and my job was to keep the raiders from touching that village!"

While James was recovering news of the battle reached the rest of the galaxy and soon james' squad was well known throughout the galaxy. One of the people it caught the eye of was Recarius Kallidan who had heard of James' role in the battle and he decided that James had proved himself.

A week after the battle a message came for James, it was from Kallidan asking if he wanted to be apart of his squad. James was hesitant because he didn't want to leave his squad mates behind, but his squad mates gave him their support and told him to join Kallidan's squad. James then replied to Kallidan's message saying that he would join the squad. Kallidan then sent him a message on where to meet up with him and to go there when he was done recovering.

After his recovery James got on a shuttle to Omega and on the way there he pondered on what he had just gotten himself into.

How's this?

 

[Mr.Ivebeenframed]

SNIP

Not to be pushy, but is my character in? I would like to know so I can plan in advance. And I do agree with mcpop that this RP is looking to be mighty fine.

 

[Outcast107]

Name: Raz'jin nar Rayya

Age: 35 standard galactic years; born in 2150 CE.

Gender: Male

Race: Quarian

Possessions: The only possession he carries is his weapons. He enjoys the M-8 Avenger and has customized it to his liking of shooting more accurate. He also carries the M-23 Katana Shotgun for close quarter combat. He also carries the M-3 Predator for his heavy pistol sidearm. He is a skill shooter with these three and has used them ever since he first got them during his training with his mercenary group.

Appearance: He stands around 5'8 with the stander uniform of quarians on their Pilgrimages. Though with his line of work he upgraded it so he can take large amounts of hits and not worry about his suit opening up and he dies of a sickness. His suit has been repainted with a red and black mix to represent his fallen comrads of his Oblivion Group.

Personality: After the death of his group he became more of a loner and felt like it was all his fault. When he takes a few sides jobs around Omega, he would shoot first and ask question later. He normally doesn't want to get to know anyone so he won't feel the same pain like he did before. Though once you earn his trust and get to know him he pretty loyal. He would gladly risk his live for his comrads since he wasn't able to during the Blue Suns attack. He also feel shame for spending his life for his Merencary band instead of trying to find ways to help his people which he views as the greatest dishonor he could have done.

Profession: He use to be a mercenary though the only survivor of the attack by the Blue Suns. He works at a dead-end job at selling ship parts. Though when he has time he normally accept jobs around Omega to see if he still has what it takes to shoot.

Talents: He very handy with the guns he carries with him. From using his rifle all the way down to his heavy pistol he knows how his guns work to the full potential. He excel at medium to close range firing.

Biography:

While Raz'jin was growing up on the flotilla, he never got to know his mother due to surprise attack by pirates. Growing up with his father, who was a soldier, he felt alone most of the time. When he was old enough to hold a gun his father started training him how to use guns. Though his happy period of his life of having a parent in his life came to a end when his father was unlucky to be on a ship that had a air-born sickness and his suit had a tear in it. After his father death, he wanted to do something in his honor as well help out with his fellow Quarian kin. So he decided to gain enough money as well as training with firearms to better their soldier so they can hold out on their on.

Raz'jin started his journey in the low underworld of Omega. Though he was mug of his money after he turn to a bad alleyway. Down on his luck, he was trying to look for work to get something to eat. He saw a new mercenary group forming up under the name of the Oblivions. The Oblivions were a number of ex-military forces and other mercenary who got tired with how their groups work. So they took in Raz'jin as they needed a tech expert. They slowly train Raz'jin to handle weapons, which he got a hang of with in the first few months.

During one of the early mission, Raz'jin took a hit badly and nearly died. Though it wasn't from the shot but more from his suit open up and he was getting sick. The medic of the Oblivion helps him and within a month he was over his sickness and ready to return to duty, though soon after he earn enough money he upgrade to a better suit so he can take more hits. They work a number of different jobs from security work to assassination of other gangs. As he rose in the ranks of the Oblivions.

Though all that came in a end when the Blue Suns got tired of the Oblivions taking their clients and would rather not have a fourth mercenary group forming. The Oblivion members were killed one by one by bombings or ambushing them when they were alone. All that was left after a few months was Raz'jin. He was ready for the hit and wanted it so he can join his friends in the after-life. Though that never came to him as he got a recording from the Blue Suns that they were going to let him live so he could spread the word of what happen to his group as well to be made a example of. Now Raz'jin lives alone and hardly talks to the others. Though word still gets around of who he is and what he can do with a good rifle in his hands.

The only reason he doesn't feel like returning home is due to living to much for himself and his friends and not enough for his people. A deep shame he still holds close to him. Now he tries to make up for it by offering any Qurian he see some help in any way he can. Though when he does feel like returning, he would only do it once he feel at peace within himself. Though he think that will only happen once he gets his revenge against the Blue Suns for what they did. Then he can return and use his training as well as credits he earn from missions to better equip and train the soldiers to protect themselves from outside danger.

After he came back from his job from selling ship parts he got a recording of joining up with a Specter. Not sure what it would come of it but he decides to join up. As he was getting tired of his dead-end job and wanted to feel some real action again. He also wishes secretly that they would get to see some Blue Suns so he can return the favor to them for what they did.

 

[CounterAttack]

Not to be pushy, but is my character in? I would like to know so I can plan in advance. And I do agree with mcpop that this RP is looking to be mighty fine.

I have yet to make a final decision on most characters: rest assured that when I pick all of the accepted characters, everyone will know. I am still waiting on a couple of people to post their sheets; they are both in progress at this point.

 

[xXGeckoXx]

Spoiler: App

Name: Eliza "Vector" Moore
Age: 26
Race: Human

Appearance: Eliza stands at approximately 170 cm tall. She has shoulder length dark red hair and freckles. Her armour is her own custom build based off the NZ, Unlike the it does not have a solid chestplate but instead a flexible modular one that can be removed quickly. The shoulder pads are similar to the NV though. The armour is designed for technical warfare, Where it lacks in armour it makes up for in shielding and sheild regen, most importantly the whole body acts as an antenna for the omni tool allowing her to hack terminals from a distance and access ambient security networks.

Personality: Has a lot in common with the salarians but she does not show it. During times in which there is little to do she busies herself with slow meaningless maintenance tasks. But the instant there is something important to do there is a marked and unnerving change in her attitude. From a state that would appear to be some kind of energy saving sloth movement her mannerisms change to those of a salarian, fast moving thinking and talking. The change is swift, and it is very unnerving to those around her. She has a sharp fast mind and is great at being one step ahead of the battle and this is what makes her such a competent combat engineer and hacker as she can break through restrictions with incredible speed.

Profession: Ships software engineer and cyber warfare.

Talents: Eliza is an engineer/combat engineer, she is familiar with the technology used in building and ship security and infrastructure. Her specialty is assuming direct control of systems within her range be they defense systems (turrets, cameras, lasers etc.), suit systems (individual enemies shields), or simple infrastructure (doors, power, etc.)


Possessions: Eliza's Modified armour and omni-tool are her main weapons. Te armour is a modified N7 with reduced plates that is designed to act as a range extender for her omni-tool. She is trained with pistols and assault rifles but she does not prefer them, she carries a pistol as a pistol as a side arm in combat but since she has little specialization in hardware she makes no modifications and thus takes any accurate pistol she is given. Her omni-tool is programmed for her own uses, it has improved interface for hacking and is designed to link with her armour to extend it's range.

Biography: Eliza was born to a military family. Her father was a classic spacer and spent most of his time aboard ships far from home, her mother was an alliance diplomat and they moved often from planet to planet. She was always socially introvert, not because she was shy or timid but because of how intensely she focused on the subjects she was interested in. In her numerous schools she specialized in maths and physics practicing coding in her spare time. She graduated with excellent marks in the subjects she focused on and appalling marks in those that she did not. Due to this fault in her overall marks she was refused to study physics and thus opted for computes sciences.

The alliance accepted her at age 20 as one of a flood of recruits that they needed to train as basic crewmen for the numerous ships they had in service. Her technical skills stood out by a mile she was soon caught manipulating the training V.I's sensors to detect another trainee as her during the more intense physical exercises, for her that hacking was her exercises she grew more and more familiar with the systems around her. She was quickly plucked out of the basic training and thrown in directly into a specialist training program in which she was expected to fail. She did not and she was deployed shortly after as cyber warfare maintenance on the KMV: Trident III, a terminus systems top of the line anti pirate cruiser designed to detect and disable enemies at long range.

During one routine check on a a mining colony just outside the systems her team of engineers was caught in a trap set by pirates who had been operating under the noses of the colonists. Trapped with a team in an underground facility and with no leadership skills she did what she did best. She sealed all the doors in the base and used surveillance camera footage to create paths for her enemies leading them away and trapping them. Once she had cleared the path to freedom she created a path to the exit. While this was a remarkable action what truly set her aside from normal heroes was her hacking skill, the captain and command of the ship analyzed the logs from the escape and found that she had broken into the central control in a matter of seconds sealing off the blast doors. After then it took her minutes to take control of surveillance and then manipulate the building with an intimate knowledge of it's layout and systems even though she had only been in it for an hour. The captain passed the data up the line and without knowing it Eliza became an anonymous bogey tale of a hacker who could be watching you at any time. A myth that was not entirely untrue.