Mass Effect series

[Jacob.A.]

Alright, so I have and still am a huge fan of the M.E. series from the start but only with the games. I know its a bit late for a review on these games but, what the hell! Now in one paragraph I will give a game review on both so if you have only played one or both very quickly then you might not understand fully what I am saying.

Having played both games fully with all DLC many times you start to see and pickup on everything that happens or is part of the environment, but very slowly. The paragon/renegade system in place effects what happens in the game but doesn't inhibit the game at all and wrights the story exceptionaly well. For M.E.1, the antagonist, Saren, is one of the most phylosophical "bad guys" I have ever seen, giving the game that much more depth. The Geth are a genius choice for Sarens army, along with the story behind it as to how it happend. Now to the reaper, Sovereign, the driving force behind all that happens in the story after Eden Prime. Not only does Sovereign play a crucial character but also gives us a clue as to what will have to be done in later games to fight the reapers because of their power. From the members of your crew, to the planets and species you meet you just have to always, even if your "evil", save the racnhi. I know its being bias by putting this in a game review but I have to. The ending to M.E.1 was great with the space battle scene, final battle that makes you kill Saren twice and the new council member. Now for M.E.2; biggest let down for this game was the loss of armor and weapon customization and ammo. Now I know how you can say it makes it more strategic with an ammo limit but I liked having an endless clip. Game play wise very good, story follows along just as good. Now the first game had "serious" graphics that you could see when you played the second, such as when you would jump with the relays; first game very clean mature animation, second game moved to be very cartoon like. Now the ending of M.E.2 is more crucial of an ending than the first and more sadistic with the choice of destroying the station or just killing all life within to be used to make reapers to fight the reapers.... For the genre in which they are in I would have to rate them very high, but disapointed with how the second game lowered from the first. Hopefully they don't do so with the third.

 

[TheComedown]

That's not one paragraph, at least that shouldn't be one paragraph, that was really hard to read. Also not having played either ME game most of what was said went right over my head.

 

[Thaius]

Some constructive criticism with your writing as a whole.

You did have some very good thoughts regarding the games, but you didn't organize them well. Mainly, your entire review is one paragraph. That's not good, even on a basic grammatical level. Paragraphs are used to separate thoughts and topics; for instance, as a very basic example, you would have a paragraph for graphics, gameplay, and story. This is to make a work more readable, easier to follow. Unfortunately, you didn't even separate the two games from each other. This makes it very difficult to read and follow.

Beyond that, some spelling and grammatical mistakes in general plagued the review. Things like "wrights" (which should be spelled "writes") and "Not only does Sovereign play a crucial character" (Soverign is a character, he plays a role in the story) should be fixed. You should also fix the many run-on sentences with commas, semicolons, and/or separate sentences.

In general, you had great thoughts on the game (though I fail to see how you could possibly call Mass Effect 2 "cartoony"), but your presentation was off. This is stuff you'll learn in basic English classes, or from a tutor or something. The best option for you would be to have someone you respect (parents, for instance) go over the review with you. I know that seems like a silly thing to recommend when talking about a review on a video game website, but it will really help your writing if you pay attention to the changes and recommendations they give you and proceed to apply similar concepts to your own writing style.

Again, I'm not trying to insult you or anything. You have good ideas, you just need to learn to present them a bit better.

 

[Jacob.A.]

Some constructive criticism with your writing as a whole.

You did have some very good thoughts regarding the games, but you didn't organize them well. Mainly, your entire review is one paragraph. That's not good, even on a basic grammatical level. Paragraphs are used to separate thoughts and topics; for instance, as a very basic example, you would have a paragraph for graphics, gameplay, and story. This is to make a work more readable, easier to follow. Unfortunately, you didn't even separate the two games from each other. This makes it very difficult to read and follow.

Beyond that, some spelling and grammatical mistakes in general plagued the review. Things like "wrights" (which should be spelled "writes") and "Not only does Sovereign play a crucial character" (Soverign is a character, he plays a role in the story) should be fixed. You should also fix the many run-on sentences with commas, semicolons, and/or separate sentences.

In general, you had great thoughts on the game (though I fail to see how you could possibly call Mass Effect 2 "cartoony"), but your presentation was off. This is stuff you'll learn in basic English classes, or from a tutor or something. The best option for you would be to have someone you respect (parents, for instance) go over the review with you. I know that seems like a silly thing to recommend when talking about a review on a video game website, but it will really help your writing if you pay attention to the changes and recommendations they give you and proceed to apply similar concepts to your own writing style.

Again, I'm not trying to insult you or anything. You have good ideas, you just need to learn to present them a bit better.

I would just like to point out that my first language to write in was french although I spoke english first so excuse me for having errors like that.

 

[Thaius]

Some constructive criticism with your writing as a whole.

You did have some very good thoughts regarding the games, but you didn't organize them well. Mainly, your entire review is one paragraph. That's not good, even on a basic grammatical level. Paragraphs are used to separate thoughts and topics; for instance, as a very basic example, you would have a paragraph for graphics, gameplay, and story. This is to make a work more readable, easier to follow. Unfortunately, you didn't even separate the two games from each other. This makes it very difficult to read and follow.

Beyond that, some spelling and grammatical mistakes in general plagued the review. Things like "wrights" (which should be spelled "writes") and "Not only does Sovereign play a crucial character" (Soverign is a character, he plays a role in the story) should be fixed. You should also fix the many run-on sentences with commas, semicolons, and/or separate sentences.

In general, you had great thoughts on the game (though I fail to see how you could possibly call Mass Effect 2 "cartoony"), but your presentation was off. This is stuff you'll learn in basic English classes, or from a tutor or something. The best option for you would be to have someone you respect (parents, for instance) go over the review with you. I know that seems like a silly thing to recommend when talking about a review on a video game website, but it will really help your writing if you pay attention to the changes and recommendations they give you and proceed to apply similar concepts to your own writing style.

Again, I'm not trying to insult you or anything. You have good ideas, you just need to learn to present them a bit better.

I would just like to point out that my first language to write in was french although I spoke english first so excuse me for having errors like that.

In that case especially, know that I mean nothing against you. There are many people here in the US who have grown up hearing and writing the language and still suck at it somehow, but you have a perfectly valid reason for your errors. Just keep on learning and improving!