Max Payne Movie Not Doing So Well

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Video game movies are a genre too, and you would break the genre by making it good.

 

[Blind0bserver]

I'm distrustful of most movie critics by nature, so I still plan on going out to see the movie and make up my own mind about it. I was really hoping from the previews that it had the potential to be good, and we'll have to see if I was even close to being right...

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Ya know, I'm surprised some people are still going to see the movie after they said it's been "PG-13'd - and that the uncut version will be released later" - I want to see my Max do all the R rated things he was supposed to do damnit. This is why Live Free or Die hard sucked in theaters but was great on DVD/Blu-Ray.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

There is no Devil or demons in the game. This is a reverse Doom, putting things in that don't belong and ruining the idea of a revenge fueled decent in to madness. Calling it Max Payne doesn't make it Max Payne.

There aren't any in the movie, either. The "demons" you see in the previews are hallucinations.

I saw the movie last night. It wasn't bad-- I honestly thought the bullet-time sequences made the movie worth watching.

Then again, I was high.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

The problem with Max pain is that the game is BASICALLY one gigantic movie reference/homage with an original plot. It's hard to make that into a good movie.

 

[Jhereg42]

The problem with Max pain is that the game is BASICALLY one gigantic movie reference/homage with an original plot. It's hard to make that into a good movie.

I don't think so. Rather than making a movie that is an homage to the game, you make a movie that uses the games plot to pay homage to classic film noir. Ironically, it would have been true to the game to shift the inspiration for the movie away from it.

 

[TsunamiWombat]

UWE BOLL MADE MAX PAYNE?

Guess i'm not seeing that.

Max Payne should've been EASY to make into a goddamned movie, it's a CRIME thriller. Admittedly the story was too long for one movie, but you could've easily split it into two movies in Kill Bill move- Movie one goes from Max's setup to his assault on the Mafia Mansion and ends with his cliffhanger drug overdose by Horne, movie two picks up with his eventual survival, investigation into Valkyr, confrontation with the Inner Circle and then assault on Aesir Corp. You could've made the goddamned movie almost VER-BAT-UM - obviously streamlining certain parts, such as the Mafia hotel.

Let me show you the groundwork, right now.

Open subway, dramatic grizzled monologue. Flashback, Death of Max's family. Inset subway shootout and the death of Alex. Max escapes to Mafia hotel, cover is blown, max escapes hotel, meets the Russian who hooks Max up with guns to take out the Italians (skip the shipyards). Max assaults Ragnarok and meets Mona after killing Lupino. (skip the restaurant)Max assaults Mafia Mansion, movie ends with Horne sticking max with Valkyr Needle.

MOVIE TWO

Opens with grizzled monologue, pyschadelic hallucination flashback of familys death, Max comes to in his own blood. Max investigates Blue Steel, confronts BB after trying to contact him to clear his name (rather then BB contacting HIM), Max is contracted by Woden and assaults Aesir Corp (skipping the escape of Hornes hit on the inner circle). Max fights his way to the top, same ending as the game.

DONE. HOW F**KING HARD WAS THAT?

 

[2ndclasscitizen]

Good Lord those reviews were shiteful.

If you wanted it to be an exact reproduction of the game you were always going to be disappointed, and are also a fucking idiot. The story is quite well adapted, while not being an identical copy is still quite faithful to the game's. It's a quite well done Hollywood Film Noir. (actual French Film Noir can be quite painful, dragging on and on and on and on.)

 

[PurpleRain]

Max Payne sucked more than Doom?! I wasn't sure that was possible.

 

[SimuLord]

What Uwe to Boll me over with some shocking (SHOCKING, I say!) news. Max Payne...lousy? WATFO*? I suppose next you're going to tell me that Alone in the Dark, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and every other movie based on video games was less than perfect cinema.

*What Are The Fucking Odds? (apologies to ESPN's Bill Simmons, from whom I stole the line)

 

[Jumplion]

Like this was a surprise to anyone.

though I barely followed it at all, what I saw did look enjoyable. Maybe I'll see it sometime, not in theatres, maybe on DVD or Blu-ray at a party or something.

 

[TsunamiWombat]

I thought it would be okay because I could recognize scenes from the game and I didn't know it was a Uwe Boll flick.

Also it didn't go directly to DVD like Uwe's other shit.

 

[Johnny Danger]

Uwe Boll had nothing to do with this movie (if IMDB is correct), it was directed by John Moore (Behind Enemy Lines, Flight of the Phoenix).

I haven't seen it yet but I think it'll be worth a rental.

 

[Sir_Montague]

Ugh. Not worth the money i didn't spend on it.... But sexdrive was good!

 

[Spartan Bannana]

My local paper gave it 3 out of 4 stars, then again, no surprise, I can't really trust them, I love 21 and they only gave it a 1.5 out of 4.

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Where did this "uwe boll" thing come from? He had nothing to do with the movie.

 

[Atrer]

Damn it not AGAIN. Can we have a videogame movie that doesn't suck eventually? Hitman, awful, Silent Hill, terrible, Alone in the Dark, diseased. I mean come on now, if nobody can do it can they please stop trying?