Me vs. my Dad

[TRR]

******************

a couple of you are asking why i must tell him

reason: if i didn't i would have to pretend i was christian. and that's something id rather not go through. because i would be dishonest, which against my values. also i would have to adhere to his christian based 'rules'(for lack of a better term); this is what lead to said shouting match.

 

[RatRace123]

Just tell him, appeal to the fact that he's your father and at the end of the day, parents are supposed to want their spawn to be happy.
Try to word it politely, though, don't belittle his beliefs while proclaiming yours.

 

[Mr Thin]

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

I need more information; specifically, what kind of atheist you are.

Do you simply abstain from the belief in a deity or deities? Or do you find the very notion utterly contemptible?

 

[FROGGEman2]

Don't do it right now. It would sound like you only did it because of your argument, and he'd dismiss it. If you want to do it now, just mention this fact.

 

[Rakkana]

I hate closed minded Christians, I hate close minded atheists.

Just try and stay in the right zone. It's likely nether of you will win the argument.

 

[Kurokami]

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

Be honest/sincere and approach it calmly. Go up to him and say "hey, lets agree to disagree, mmk?" And then go out and chuck a baseball around.

Okay, that was purposely corny, but honestly if you just approach this in a mature and composed manner you should be fine in my opinion.

 

[PureChaos]

I wish I had your problems.

Being able to argue with your father is a luxury that you shouldn't dismiss or wish for a way to work around.

He is your flesh and blood. This may sound lame, but remember that he loves you, and that you \are lucky to be able to argue/discuss/rant/bullshit/flaunt/yell/criticize/demean any day of the week with him.

Be strong in your beliefs, yet realize that he is strong in his, and try to coexist with him, and love him for all his faults.

Hopefully he will do the same.

unfortunately, some people will put their beliefs first. i hope what you say will be true but OP said his dad is very Christian so he could let his beliefs get in the way of his family.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

DEFINITELY tell him. As for the conversation afterwords....
I'm and Atheist I have a VERY christian grandma and the one that always works for me is:

Me: "God has a plan for everyone, correct?"
Her: "Yes, of course."
Me: "So it is his plan for ME to be an Atheist."
Her: "Oh. I guess that makes sense."

On the other hand, I have only used this against a 90 year old woman, so maybe a bad example.

 

[Kevonovitch]

you are who you are, and he is who he is, if he don't like it, too bad for him.

 

[Merkavar]

if you dad cant handle your beliefs then how can he even think you can handle his. beliefs/religion is a personal choice so you need to believe what you need to believe and live with the consequences.

 

[SpAc3man]

Its not really anything where you need to sit him down to tell him. Just carry on as usual and live your life as an atheist. If he asks, just say you don't believe in the same things as him and that your happy and comfortable with your choice. It hasn't changed the way you treat him so it shouldn't change the way he treats you. If he can't understand this reasoning then you will just have to ignore his comments on your so called eternal damnation and all that jazz until he accepts your choice. Agree to disagree.

 

[Angryman101]

Keep it to yourself at least until you move out. He's going to be constantly trying to convert you back and use it to pick fights if you don't, I can almost guarantee it.
Also, why does everyone have to wear their religious beliefs on their sleeves? Keep that shit to yourself, it doesn't matter if your atheist, christian, whatever. Shut the fuck up about it.

 

[TerribleAssassin]

There's no reason you can't be Atheist and not respect his religion. Show him some compassion and he'll do likewise, even if it isn't at first.

Well said, and your avatar is Jesus in a suit and a funky mau5 head.

OT: Just say, I'm an atheist and you can't force your believes on me. Then walk away.

 

[nuba km]

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

tell him and if he ask you why you are an atheist ask him why he is a Christian after that if a argument happens just do try and keep it civil there will be tension in the air for a while and after a while he will just accept it also please tell how it turns out. also welcome to free thinking people will accuse you of being ignorant a sinner and stupid for knowing facts rather then believing a indivisible man in the sky who loves use but has to punish us for what two humans did several thousand years ago.

 

[Lukeje]

If you can't discuss the topic without it degenerating into a shouting match then I don't think either of you are in a position to attempt to defend your respective choices.

 

[SimuLord]

My dad was a devout Catholic. Probably for the better that he died when I was nine, so I can idolize him and look at (and dedicate my life to trying to live up to) all his good qualities while never having to confront him with my own pagan religious beliefs. It's a win-win really.

 

[coldshadow]

If he is "very christian" as you say, then I think it would be best to avoid it as he might not accept it very well and might even try to kick you out of the house.

 

[Danzaivar]

Tell him you're either going to be an Atheist or a fundamentalist Muslim.

By presenting a worse option, we make the true scenario much more palatable. =)

 

[Artina89]

Just tell him calmly and if he tries and draw you into an argument don't take the bait, as getting into a shouting match will not achieve anything. However, as many people have already said, don't condescend and don't try and force your beliefs on him, if he is as devout as you say he is, then nothing you say will make any difference. Hopefully, he will accept you for being athiest even if it takes a little time for him.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Two words:
Chewbacca defence.
/thread