This reminds me of when comedian Jim Jeffries described visiting his gay comedian friend in South Africa. They two would be wingmen for each other in bars and clubs. Jim would try to get women while his friend would try to get men. It all worked well until they were in a gay bar. Jim, being the drug and alcohol abuser he is, hears that someone is going to do a line of cocaine in the bathroom so he decides to join him, not thinking (because he was drunk) that some of the men do more than just coke in the bathroom.
They get into the bathroom, his companion unzips his pants and Jim is staring at the biggest penis he has ever seen. He eventually convinces the guy that he wasn't interested in sex (or men) and they just enjoyed a line of coke (I am not condoning the cocaine by any means).
Then he says in the interest of comic relief "so he raped me". Sure, the audience was laughing, but he made a good point. Why is it funny when men get raped? If a woman said that, even a stand-up comedian, would people have laughed?
It's the same thing when it comes to other types of abuse. It is a myth that men cannot be abused. If not physically, emotionally and psychologically. I read an account of a man who had been raped and his battle to get the authorities to believe him or take him seriously: http://www.avoiceformen.com/sexual-politics/m-g-t-o-w/a-mgtow-journey-classification-declassified/
I also understand that women may choose not to report the abuser because it is incredibly difficult. People say things like not reporting him might allow him to continue raping, but it until someone does that to you, you cannot know the internal battles they have. Still, I do believe there is a reason so many people have marches and protests against rape. I know a former police officer who joined the force because she was molested when she was a child. She joined marches against domestic abuse too (her ex husband was abusive) and she said it was important that women reported rape and domestic abuse, even if it is difficult. She didn't believe in silence. She said silence is an abuser's greatest tool because it allows them to keep abusing.
She was also of the (informed) opinion that many men faced domestic abuse and they too should speak out. This cultural belief that cowboys don't cry created generations of men who kept quiet when they were molested as boys or abused as men. Even today, people will tell you to "man up" if a woman is being abusive. It is considered acceptable for him to "take it" and some people go so far as to say he deserves it.
I remember watching Everybody Loves Raymond, a TV show I enjoyed in the 90s (when I was a teen), and when I watch the reruns today, I cringe. Sure, he was a bit spoiled and a bit of a pushover (and a schemer), but the way his wife treated him seemed abusive, yet they made a sitcom from it. It is okay to laugh at a man who has to walk on eggshells around his wife, receive psychological and emotional abuse when she isn't happy, and ensure he panders to her as much as possible before they can even have sex. It might be silly to use that show as an example, but there seems to be a theme running through our culture that it's okay to treat a man badly, that he deserves it and that men cannot be raped.
Maybe I am reading a bit much into a TV show, but anyone else get a hint of this?
