Metaphores [insert your own here]

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Or similes, but we all know that "Metaphor" sounds cooler.

At one time in your life you have probably come up with a metaphor full of truthiness, that made you think "[i/]damn I'm clever[/i]" in your native tongue. Hopefully this wise saying of your does not need a chest high wall of text to get, thus I would like to hear yours.

 

[NimbleJack3]

Your Mom.

 

[Calobi]

I had a brilliant one, but I can't remember it.

Your Mom.

A swing and a miss! I realize that was a joke, by the way.

 

[JRCB]

Life is like a poker match: we gamble everything we have, or we fold and leave.


EDIT: If anyone wants to add on this or elaborate, feel free to.

 

[HT_Black]

"This game is doing to my computer what Jeffery Dahmer did to several dozen gay boys..."-- H.T. Black, talking about multiplayer DEMIGOD
"...And the minions coninue to be more endearing than twenty sacks of assorted bunnies and kittens..." (this one's a simile, mind you)-- H.T. Black, in his OVERLORD II review

 

[djpuppylove789]

Life is like a box of chocolates, sometimes you get something good, but most of the time you get the shit covered ball of dried up caramel.

 

[Insanum]

You can use any word in the english language to mean pissed. We have more words for being drunk then the eskimos have for snow.

Example: I was absolutely boxed[/I].

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

"This game is doing to my computer what Jeffery Dahmer did to several dozen gay boys..."-- H.T. Black, talking about multiplayer DEMIGOD

Dammit my sides were already sore from laughing all day, this did not help.

 

[sgtshock]

I always come up with awesome ones, but too late to use in conversation. In fact, I just thought of this one:
Good metaphors are like good comebacks, you always think them up too late.

 

[Asymptote Angel]

"This is about as interesting as Tom Petty after a Valium overdose."

Yeah, it's a simile, but it's one of my favorite figures of speech.

 

[Bofus Teefus]

Why just today- "I'm like a pharmaceutical Action Jackson!" (note- I work in a pharmacy)

Your Mom.

You know what, Nimble, you like schoo' in the summertime...

 

[sky14kemea]

"this makes as much sense as a purple elephant in a jacuzzi drinking fortified wine...."

i say weird things all the time anyway, so this was kinda normal for me

 

[Zacharine]

"Your comeback was almost as sharp and witty as a brick. Good show mate, and thank you for conceding victory."

 

[Skeleon]

"This is about as useful as a brain-amputation."

Not that clever.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Why just today- "I'm like a pharmaceutical Action Jackson!" (note- I work in a pharmacy)

Your Mom.

You know what, Nimble, you like school in the summertime...

No class.
Although I heard it was "you're like school on Sundays".

 

[BonsaiK]

Most of you are actually using similes, not metaphors. Find out the difference here:

http://knowgramming.com/metaphors/metaphor_and_simile_difference.htm

Don't feel silly if you got it wrong - most rappers who get paid millions for their "sophisticated wordplay" (ahem) don't know the difference either.

 

[fulano]

I Will Box The Shit Out of You. <---- Apparently that stands for punchin' someone.

 

[Screens]

The Escapist is a school. You learn new things sometimes, but you socialize with various others in pointless ways most of the time.

I know it sucks, but I'm not a poetic person.