Crazzee said:
O Great Microdamus, will the world ever see the glory that is Star Trek: Redshirt: The video game?
Star Trek: Redshirt will become the breakaway success story of the generation to follow XBox 360. Though the gameplay will mainly consist of "look behind that rock way over there" missions, the challenging experience will cater to hardcore fans and gamers alike. When your character dies, he does not respawn or go back to a save point. Instead, a replacement character beams in to take his place. The new redshirt will be presented with a dialogue tree to determine his effectiveness, and may lose his morale and run into the wild. These side missions will form the backbone of the game's plot, and feature the most dangerous creatures in the game. Earning achievements in Star Trek: Redshirt will become a badge of pride for gamers that earn even one.
Portal Maniac said:
Oh wise and powerful Jambi the Genii Microdamus, tell me. Will Valve survive to see the Great Respawning?
Valve will see the Great Respawning, but Bioware will be revealed as a spawn camper. Valve will have to go a long distance to recover, and will remain unarmed for several generations. The governments of the world will take action against Bioware, in the first ever UN hearing regarding video games.
TundraWolf said:
Is it true that Rock Band is merely a ruse to teach all gamers how to play actual musical instruments? If not, then what diabolical scheme does Harmonix have planned?
Harmonix... Harmonix is using Rock Band to get gamers interested in musical instruments. They will open several patents for what essentially is a recorder with keys. The shrill tune of the harpies shall echo across many a console home, as Recorder Hero will top charts in the final age of games. Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" shall be the most difficult song to play on the device, and the Four instruments of destruction shall cross the seas. The shipping industry shall be hit hardest of all, and Microsoft's fish mongering venture will become little more than cat food.
