So, at the end of January, I broke up with my girlfriend. I wanted to break-up with her for many reasons, but she's not what this is about. It's really about me and my friend. I've known her for 5 years and she's my best friend. Well, on the 30th of January, the Friday after I broke up with my girlfriend, she kissed me. I regard the following 2 hours we spent watching Comedy Central stand-up as one of the greatest moments in my life. See, we both always had a thing for each other. We never admitted it and we were always unavailable to each other. She had a few boyfriends and when she was finally single for a while I got my most recent girlfriend. Of course, she choose that time to tell me she liked me. ANYWAY, back to my story (I love a good subplot).
So, our little "affair" as we called it went on for about 2 and a half weeks. We didn't tell any of our friends, and my parents found out on accident. But, we never were truly bf and gf. So, after the best two and a half weeks of my life, she says she wants to stop, because she doesn't want a relationship with a guy right now. OK, I'm disappointed, but I understand. From here on out things got weird. At first it was all okay, we hung out like usual and would just joke about our "affair." However, I did (and still do) want her. But, she started to get annoyed with me recently, avoiding me, always trying to stay away if possible. It was off and on for a while till it was almost always on. She then told me two things. One, she needed space from me, I was annoying her and she didn't know why. And second, she no longer wanted to go to prom with me. That broke my heart. Not only that, but she started about taking a potential date, MY BEST FRIEND(who lives in Columbus and she doesn't like him like that but still) to prom. Which killed me.
So, now it's a week later. Things are seemingly back to normal. I've laid off. I've forced myself too. I want to talk and be next to her every single moment of every single day. But I force myself to be more distant than usual. However, my problem is, I can't get her off my mind. It plagues me, constantly. I can't stop thinking about the first time we kissed. I almost get lost in her face every time I look at her. I can't help. She's the most attractive, beautiful girl I've ever known. I'm basically finding it hard to focus on other things, even sleep, which I love oh so much.
So, my question to those that read my little essay is this: How do I get her off my mind? I want to think of her as friend, for two reasons. One, so the time between her not dating and dating goes faster. And, two, so that, in the likely hood that she does not want to date me, that I don't die inside. Suggestions? I know typing this and telling the world has made me feel a little better...
So, our little "affair" as we called it went on for about 2 and a half weeks. We didn't tell any of our friends, and my parents found out on accident. But, we never were truly bf and gf. So, after the best two and a half weeks of my life, she says she wants to stop, because she doesn't want a relationship with a guy right now. OK, I'm disappointed, but I understand. From here on out things got weird. At first it was all okay, we hung out like usual and would just joke about our "affair." However, I did (and still do) want her. But, she started to get annoyed with me recently, avoiding me, always trying to stay away if possible. It was off and on for a while till it was almost always on. She then told me two things. One, she needed space from me, I was annoying her and she didn't know why. And second, she no longer wanted to go to prom with me. That broke my heart. Not only that, but she started about taking a potential date, MY BEST FRIEND(who lives in Columbus and she doesn't like him like that but still) to prom. Which killed me.
So, now it's a week later. Things are seemingly back to normal. I've laid off. I've forced myself too. I want to talk and be next to her every single moment of every single day. But I force myself to be more distant than usual. However, my problem is, I can't get her off my mind. It plagues me, constantly. I can't stop thinking about the first time we kissed. I almost get lost in her face every time I look at her. I can't help. She's the most attractive, beautiful girl I've ever known. I'm basically finding it hard to focus on other things, even sleep, which I love oh so much.
So, my question to those that read my little essay is this: How do I get her off my mind? I want to think of her as friend, for two reasons. One, so the time between her not dating and dating goes faster. And, two, so that, in the likely hood that she does not want to date me, that I don't die inside. Suggestions? I know typing this and telling the world has made me feel a little better...
