mixed metaphors

[squirrelman42]

Give us half a proverb, metaphor, or other little piece of advice. Next person finishes it then gives their own.

Person 1: Where there's a will...
Person 2: there's a dead guy. People in glass houses...
Person 3: smudge the walls. etc etc etc.

I'll start: Rome wasn't built...

 

[GenHellspawn]

.That's why we can't have nice things. If at first you don't succeed...

 

[Fl@nked]

..find someone who can, then use them as a source of cheap labor. Just kidding.

Never look a....

 

[000Ronald]

Logician in the eye; you'll go insane.

Easy is...

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

Improbable

Hard is...

 

[squirrelman42]

an arrestable offense.

There's no day like....

 

[Reasonable Doubt]

Like the day you shoot a man in the head and get away with it.

Never say...

 

[Rabid Toilet]

..."bomb" in an airport.

It's only funny until...

 

[Fl@nked]

...a twelve mouthed chaos beast consumes your friend's lower portion and you have to use your last scroll of Resurrect to bring his stupid self back.

You catch more flies with....

 

[The Iron Ninja]

mutant, two tounged frogs than you would with regular ones.

When you're in shit up to your ears it pays to...

 

[Anarchemitis]

DO A BARREL ROLL!

Never assume,

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

that, even if the cake was not a lie, it could be poisoned.

It's weird,

 

[GenHellspawn]

...you give life a crappy birthday present too!

Why make trillions...

 

[Spleeni]

when you can get hookers?

It's better to have...

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

food for a year then fake money.
Why settle for......

 

[Earthbound]

...a witty retort when you could use an internet meme.

Three men can keep a secret...

 

[T3chn0s1s]

worth two in a bush.

One man's trash...

 

[The Iron Ninja]

now belongs to me.

Is the pope catholic?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

As long as it needs to be.

We'll cross that bridge...

 

[TheGhostOfSin]

Or not, who cares.
The grass is always...