Modern times; How do you decide your children's last names?

[Saladfork]

For a long time in western civilization it was customary for kids to be given their father's last name, due in part to the patrilineal lines of succession and inheritence of the times.

Nowadays, though, it is becoming increasingly common that women retain their maiden names rather than take their husbands, which I suspect would cause some confusion about what the two should name their children.

I've heard of having male children take their father's name and the female ones take their mother's, but I have also been told that more than a few families would prefer that all of their children have the same last name.

I've also heard of taking the mother's and father's names and hyphenating them, which is all well and good for one generation, but seems a little unrealistic in the long-term if widely adopted. For example, Mr. Francis and Mrs. Johnson have a son, Mr Francis-Johnson. He then goes on to have a child, named Mr. Francis-Johnson-Micheals-Brown, who then fathers Mr. Francis-Johnson-Micheals-Brown-Smith-Joseph-Lee-Chan.

So how would you decide on your kids' names? Just adopt the father's name, same-sex parent's name, hyphenated name, or some other solution I didn't think of?

 

[Newby_Newb]

Maybe, Combine the fathers and mothers last names to create a new last name?

 

[Rawne1980]

My wife took my surname when we wed so the kids got it as well.

 

[Nickolai77]

With me personally i would very much prefer that any children i have take my surname- it's quite a rare surname and it denotes identification with an Irish clan- which has a legacy stretching back to the Dark Ages. So i would certainly be encouraging my children to pick my surname if the choice is there.

 

[Colour Scientist]

It would have to be the double-barrel name.


If I get married I'm keeping my mother's second name and, seeing as I'll have carried them and pushed them out, my children will have my name.

Of course, they'll have two parents but it'd be cold day in hell before I have children that don't get my name.

 

[Squidbulb]

Whatever sounds better.

 

[Phasmal]

I'm undecided. I like my name, boyfriend likes his. Don't really want a double barrel name.
But, I probably wont make a decision until I get married. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind taking my boyfriend's last name (because of divorce and remarriage many people in my family dont have the same last name anyway), but other times I am very attatched to my name...

Sooo yeah. Yet to make up my mind.

 

[Saladfork]

I'd say you should let the child decide.

Fair enough later on in life, but that's a rather large thing to ask of a newborn so I figure they'll need one, if only in the interim.

With me personally i would very much prefer that any children i have take my surname- it's quite a rare surname and it denotes identification with an Irish clan- which has a legacy stretching back to the Dark Ages. So i would certainly be encouraging my children to pick my surname if the choice is there.

Again, fair enough, but what happens if you marry somebody who feels the same way?

 

[Nickolai77]

With me personally i would very much prefer that any children i have take my surname- it's quite a rare surname and it denotes identification with an Irish clan- which has a legacy stretching back to the Dark Ages. So i would certainly be encouraging my children to pick my surname if the choice is there.

Again, fair enough, but what happens if you marry somebody who feels the same way?

Well, i plan to only ever marry girls who have common surnames, like Smith or Jones, so it's unlikely that they'll wish to pass on those boring family name to their children.


jk, I'll either go double-barrelled, let the kids choose or let the kids have her name. I have two other brothers who are likely to pass on the family name anyway.

 

[Gnoekeos]

I've always heard that they hyphenated it, but how do they decide which name comes first since such a thing must be extremely important to them?

 

[Wintermoot]

the same as the parents who decide it at marriage or civil union.
PS
why am I asked on my opinion on MTV?

 

[Nimcha]

If I ever have kids they'll have both names with a hyphen. They're both pretty short anyway.

 

[Bertylicious]

It's an oppurtunity for a completely new surname. Granted your family or her family might be upset by your ditching of the family legacy but, you know, fuck 'em.

 

[SckizoBoy]

*meh* If it really bugs you, just do like Icelanders, patronymic/matronymic names.

*shrug* Me personally, double-barrelled is a fair compromise, but it'd sound annoying with my name. I'm all for letting the kids choose which name to take, though the red-tape would be annoying, admittedly.

So, how's about the Spanish naming convention, seems the least (immediately) intrusive to choice.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

That's gonna be a tough one if me and my girlfriend stick together long enough to have kids.

I have a very norwgian name containing a letter that doesn't even exist in the english alphabet and she has a very american name so throwing in a hyphen would make it sound really really weird.

If i end up living in america with her so long the family name becomes an issue i'll probably take hers for comfort's sake.

 

[Pat8u]

Hmm if i do get married my partner can use her surname if she wanted to, there are 20 families that have some ties to my family in australia alone so My family names not going anywhere
i do need to read up on my families history though

Ot: It matters on who wants to and who doesen't care in my opnion

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I'd say you should let the child decide.

Newborn infants tend not to be able to choose their name. On account of their inability to read, write, talk or understand language.

OT: It depends on what the parents want. My friend's parents never married, but he has his father's last name, as does his sister.

 

[Akytalusia]

i have strong feelings about this subject. forgive me as i rant. >.>

your first name is your name, your last name is more like a designation of your clan. personaly, i think it should be left open until the human reaches some designated age when they are recognized as possessing adequate enough psychological faculties to reasonably opt for themselves to join either their parents clan if the parents belong to the same clan, or which parent to join if they belong to seperate clans, or create thier own should they for any reason choose to do so.
the 'bloodline' or 'lineage' or 'family' concept that's been used to determine these things thus far is so twisted and chauvinistic and through it's extensive reign has so completely screwed up any prospect of accurate or coherent records and conversely affected people's perspectives about thier relationships with one another and consequently thier actions and interactions relative to each involved and thus shaping history into this irredeemably convoluted abomination and good LORD it irritates me like you wouldn't believe... i can't even think about it without dying a little inside. >.> man that was a long sentence...

er.. sorry about that. rant over.

 

[frobalt]

It would have to be the double-barrel name.


If I get married I'm keeping my mother's second name and, seeing as I'll have carried them and pushed them out, my children will have my name.

Of course, they'll have two parents but it'd be cold day in hell before I have children that don't get my name.

That is certainly a good way to piss off the father of these potential children, as you're essentially saying he wouldn't have a say in it at all. Or is it just me that would be put-off by such an unwillingness to compromise?

After all, what are you going to do if you have a husband just as stubborn who wants the children to take his name? Simply throw in his face your biological ability to carry and give birth to children?

Sounds like a divorce waiting to happen to me.


In my case, my current girlfriend has stated that if she were to get married she'd take her husband's name, as she's not so fond of her last name, so that wouldn't be an issue to me.

 

[Quesa]

My paternal grandfather and great grandfather both died before 30, my family tree is very flat on the side my name's on. I was happy my wife was comfortable with taking my name, it wasn't a deal breaker though.