Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?

[Vrex360]

Movie stories need a premise and from a premise you must first have a concept, a raw basic idea that all other ideas follow from. This can be as simple as 'there is a serial killer and the FBI decide to use another serial killer to track him down' then add on from that. Concepts like that are good. And they develop into great plots later on and eventually star Anthony Hopkins and Jody Foster and go on to win Oscars.

But othertimes the concept of a movie can be really bad and you just are left there scratching your head in bewilderment not believing you just heard it. I suppose many choices for ridiculous plot that come to mind, things as dumb as 'we invaded an alien's home planet, they fought back... let's kil them all' as an example. But honestly the most awful plot premise for any movie has to go to whatever Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (team behind that 'Movie' franchise) come up with in every film they make.

That's my choice, what do you think is the most laughably absurd premise for any movie's storyline to date? NOTE: Must be an actual existing movie.

Also there is only allowed ONE mention of Twilight.
Only one.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Guitar Hero the Movie.


Two kids are playing a game when they get sucked into it and have to save the galaxy by playing in a Guitar Hero tournament.

 

[RavingPenguin]

A girl falls in love with a vampire, but get this, he sparkles.... Oh wait.

In all seriousness, Id say a movie based around gaming that isnt a documentary, there is one I just cant remeber the name.

 

[Vrex360]

A girl falls in love with a vampire, but get this, he sparkles.... Oh wait.

In all seriousness, Id say a movie based around gaming that isnt a documentary.

Right there we go, Twilight referance, that's it. No one else can make a mention now.

 

[RavingPenguin]

A girl falls in love with a vampire, but get this, he sparkles.... Oh wait.

In all seriousness, Id say a movie based around gaming that isnt a documentary.

Right there we go, Twilight referance, that's it. No one else can make a mention now.

Right, the premise was bad but it had Alice Cullen in it, and that makes up for it in my book.

 

[Altorin]

A girl falls in love with a vampire, but get this, he sparkles.... Oh wait.

In all seriousness, Id say a movie based around gaming that isnt a documentary, there is one I just cant remeber the name.

The Wizard.. Stay Alive.. Mario Bros.. Uwe Boll..

yeah

that's pretty much a death sentence

 

[JC175]

They're making a film out of the novel Pride and Predjudice and Zombies. It's based upon Pride and Predjudice, except England is overrun with zombies and Mr. Darcy is a ninja zombie fighter.

...I can't work out whether it's the best or worst thing I've ever heard.

EDIT:

Um, well I think that IronMan had a terrible plot. There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic, yet the movie tried so hard.

"I think its time to try out flying in the new suit. Hmm, I'm sick of America, how about I fly to Iraq."

 

[traceur_]

A girl falls in love with a vampire, but get this, he sparkles.... Oh wait.

In all seriousness, Id say a movie based around gaming that isnt a documentary.

Right there we go, Twilight referance, that's it. No one else can make a mention now.

DAMN!! too slow.

ok ummmm... New Moon, HA!

 

[Thurr]

War of the worlds (2005).

Watched this one last night. I was stunned..

 

[Fanboy]

'Wanted' was a terrible movie, with probably the worst plot-to-budget ratio I can think of: A secret guild of assassins, who can break the laws of physics, kill people because a loom tells them to. Really? A loom?

 

[ExodusinFlames]

Guitar Hero the Movie.


Two kids are playing a game when they get sucked into it and have to save the galaxy by playing in a Guitar Hero tournament.

Are you MAD??? That would sell huge in certain countries!
But seriously, there was a film series about some young guy who trains in the ways of a hokey religion and ancient weaponry instead of a good solid blaster at his side ... no I'm kidding.

The whole problem with really bad films on a "Single post" rules set-up, is that you try so damned hard to repress the fact that you ever saw it. My wife watches some terrible films (Bride Wars, The Devil Wears Prada, etc) and to utterly rip Yahtzee off, I'd rather jump out of a plane and land anus first on the spire of the Winchester Cathedral, then sit through that garbage again.
As far as laughably absurd plots go, action/horror crossover storylines. So entirely pointless to even bother attempting to characterize anything in those. You go to see violence and etc, not all kinds of talking and "romance"

 

[KING BOB 2896]

Wanted. I could not follow the plot of that movie no matter how hard I tried.

 

[Fortesque]

Any Resident Evil film after the first.

And im sure the fourth will just be out right ridiculous.

 

[Fortesque]

oh, that or the Saw movies

 

[manicfoot]

Two old men are in retirement and are losing their minds. One of them genuinely believes he is Elvis Presley, the other believes he is JFK despite being black (they took out JFK's brain and put it in his head because it'd be the 'last place anyone would look'). Together, they defend their house from a mummy.

 

[Tharwen]

300

Spartans go to persia. Spartans kill persians. Spartan woman has sex. Spartans die. More Spartans come. End.

EDIT: I also just remembered a really really really bad film I saw ages ago called D.E.B.S. It was about a spy agency for teenage girls and there's an evil mastermind teenage girl but then one of the spy teenage girls falls in love with the evil teenage girl and they go off and live a happy lesbian ever after with the whole teenage girl spy agency chasing them.

 

[Haydyn]

Failure to Launch. A stereotypical guy is dating a girl, but she is only doing so as a "job" to get him to move out of his parents' house. Because we all know that guys who live with their parents have stereotypical "good looks" and stereotypically have no personality. Then, she falls in love with him. Who couldn't see that coming?! Why can't more love interests not end up with the main character at the end of the movie to give people a happy-go-lucky warm feeling?

Another movie with a terrible plot: 12 Rounds. Cop must save gf/wife from villian who wanted revenge. Cop has to go through 12 Rounds of terrible acting (the commercials speak for themselves) to defeat the villian. It's like Speed on crack.