Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?

DreamKing

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Aug 14, 2008
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Duskwaith said:
tharwen said:
orannis62 said:
tharwen said:
300

Spartans go to persia. Spartans kill persians. Spartan woman has sex. Spartans die. More Spartans come. End.
You know it's based on a real battle, the Battle of Thermopylae, right? The film itself might not be exactly truthful to the history, but the premise is stuff that actually happened.
I do understand that but the storyline that the film follows is a terrible one IMO.
Thats cause its a comic, its like saying spiderman is stupid or watchmen.
Uhm..........

Did you read Wanted? The comic was about super villians that control reality and wipe out all of the super heroes in a battle in 1986. The super villians wipe out the memories of super heroes and super villians with the Empire State Building. All that is left is fuzzy memories and comic books. But who really reads comics, anyway?

Also, be careful what you say about Watchmen around here. *melds with shadows*
 

Guitarmasterx7

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Mar 16, 2009
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though when i actually saw it it turned out to be really good, when my friend described donnie darko as
"A kid meets a man in a bunny suit who tells him the world is ending and to burn down someones house and then he sends a Jet engine back in time and kills himself"
I was like "are you shitting me? I have to see this movie!"
Little did I know it was going to turn out to be one of the biggest mindfucks I've ever seen
 

RagnorakTres

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Feb 10, 2009
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Fanboy said:
'Wanted' was a terrible movie, with probably the worst plot-to-budget ratio I can think of: A secret guild of assassins, who can break the laws of physics, kill people because a loom tells them to. Really? A loom?
By the laws of physics, I hope you are not referring to the bullet curve, as that is actually possible. I have not seen the movie though, so I don't know about any other possibly controversial (to physicists) tricks.

Probably the worst plot for a movie I've ever heard is Independence Day. Don't get me wrong, I love the movie, It has Jeff Goldblum in it, what more could one ask for? Anyway, the plotholes come so fast and thick in that movie, it's almost sad. "Oh, look, apparently the off-switch for this alien is in exactly the same spot as it would be on humans! How convenient!" "Hey, the aliens' computers are susceptible to emacs! Hooray for geekery!"
 

hungoverbear

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Mar 8, 2008
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A13X T3h NubCak3 said:
Quinten Tarintono's Death Proof... go watch it and try not to cry that youve wasted your life..
THANK YOU!!! finally someone else who thinks that the film is complete and utter shit!
 

Tattaglia

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Aug 12, 2008
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Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus.

...

Wait, that's full of win! A massive shark eating a plane in midair is gold, Jerry! Pure gold! *fires guns into the air*
 

Corpse XxX

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Jan 19, 2009
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The sickest movie ever made, has got to be "Acid House", made by the same dude who did Trainspotting..

I will not get into details, but i can tell you this, it will blow your mind away thinking of how disturbed someone must be to make something like this..

I get sick just thinking of it..
 

RyVal

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May 19, 2009
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Inconsistancies Arise said:
Basically just this-
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095655/synopsis

It has my vote by a long shot after the first paragraph, oh and contains spoilers.
Dear God.

I'd love to have an acid trip like that.
 

Wutaiflea

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Mar 17, 2009
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I know people have already said Uwe Boll but I just HAVE to take a few moments to make everyone think about Bloodrayne.

Christ on a bike- what were these people thinking? I especially love the relationship between Rayne and that Sebastian dude-

"hm, we're openly hostile and suspicious of each other, but after a brief background exchange with our entire lives thus far summarized in two sentences, we're now going to have the most ludicrous and pathetic sex scene ever!
Then we're going to have no relationship and not exchange dialogue until he dies. Then Rayne will feel sad for some utterly arbitary reason- probably due to being angry that he did nothing to stimulate her sexually except lick her boob"

I really hope that Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsen were paid in jewels and whores for their appearances, but since it was made in Eastern Europe, they probably were...
 

dwightsteel

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Feb 7, 2007
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stinkychops said:
dwightsteel said:
stinkychops said:
Um, well I think that IronMan had a terrible plot. There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic, yet the movie tried so hard.
So, I'm not flaming you, because I don't want to get suspended again, but explain yourself. The fact that you said, and I quote, "There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic" feels like a complete cop out. Considering how many people love this movie, I think you owe it to us to explain that statement with some detail, unless you're content to be the schmuck who claims that Iron Man made no sense with absolutely nothing to back up your statement.
Okay buddy,
I'm sorry but I was too tired to go through an hour and a half of bad logic.

To begin with, how did he build a suit with flamethrowers, which was impenetrable to armor-piercing rounds. It then burst open from impact with the ground, leaving him unharmed. The very fact he suffered no injury from the bullets. He then made it home, I forget how. Went and built one, which he flew no problem sraight away. The othe rguy, makes a suit 10x better from the plans of the old one. He crushes ironmans head like it was foil, but then can't crush ironman. Why was the convoy flown into the middle of hostile territory? So that it could then drive out of it? None of it made any sense, come on man.
I hate doing this because it makes me look like a massive nerd, but here goes.
First point: Flamethrowers. He was given a massive stock of munitions to play with to build his missile. Two engineering geniuses (which the movie implied they were) would have no problem building a flame thrower with fuel (which they'd need to power the rocket) and other basic supplies.
Your second point: first suit being impenetrable to armor piercing rounds. Firstly, they never once said or even implied that they were using armor piercing rounds. They lived in a poor country, and it's not like that terrorist cell was well funded. Who's to say they had such bullets? If they did, who's to say that the material used to construct the Mach 1 wasn't outfitted with better alloys to combat that very problem? It's not an unreasonable assumption considering Stark Enterprises was known in the movie to be on the forefront of munitions and they built the suit with those materials.
Your third/fourth point: the suit cracked open upon impact with the ground, and Tony Stark was mysteriously unharmed. High altitude stress upon the armor can easily explain that, but your second part of that point has merit. It is unlikely that he would have survived that fall, especially unharmed, but that is where the term "suspension of disbelief" comes in to play. If Spielberg can reasonably expect an audience to believe Indiana Jones would survive a nuclear explosion in a lead lined refrigerator, then Jon Favreau should be given at least a little latitude on this point. Hey, if Chev Chelios can survive a fall from a helicopter, then I'd say Tony Stark should be able to fall a less perilous fall in the desert with soft sand to cushion his fall. He made it home when a search party found him, not an entirely unlikely scenario.

Third point: his Mach 2 outfit could fly right away. Not necessarily true. There was a sequence where he was testing his flight capabilities before he put them in the suit. In one of said tests, he is quite unsuccessful. With proper navigation software (which he had in the suit), his test flight went relatively successfully. If you're willing to accept that Iron Man could ever fly in this movie, then your whole point is moot. And if not, I point back to my "suspension of disbelief" point. It's a superhero movie, it's not meant to be grounded in absolute logic.

Fourth Point: The Iron Monger armor Obidiah built being better than Starks. The difference here was addressed in the movie and actually quite a strong part of the subtext. Could Stark have built the suit the way that Stane did? Of course he could. He built the mini ARC generator that powered the suit, that Stane needed to steal. But Stark built his suit to fix a problem he felt he created and to help people. It was thus streamlined and built to be as non-lethal as he could, without limiting his ability to incapacitate other war machines. Stane on the other hand built his suit to be the ultimate war weapon. Thus it was bigger with more intense weaponry. This isn't a matter of logic, but philosophy. As for not being able to crush tony, he wasn't trying to. He was toying with him, trying to hurt him before he killed him.

Fifth Point: the Convoy. I don't suppose it occurred to you that Stane was deliberately helping the enemy?

Finally, there isn't a movie made that holds up to absolute logical scrutiny. Especially in the genre of Superhero flicks. Iron Man did WAY better then most. The fact is that most of your points are mere nitpicks, and yet you can amazingly use them to discredit the whole movie, claiming it's illogical. If logic is all your care about (and I'm seriously starting to wonder), then you best be considering the irony of your own statement.
 

NoodleWoman

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May 22, 2009
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stinkychops said:
dwightsteel said:
stinkychops said:
Um, well I think that IronMan had a terrible plot. There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic, yet the movie tried so hard.
So, I'm not flaming you, because I don't want to get suspended again, but explain yourself. The fact that you said, and I quote, "There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic" feels like a complete cop out. Considering how many people love this movie, I think you owe it to us to explain that statement with some detail, unless you're content to be the schmuck who claims that Iron Man made no sense with absolutely nothing to back up your statement.
Okay buddy,
I'm sorry but I was too tired to go through an hour and a half of bad logic.

To begin with, how did he build a suit with flamethrowers, which was impenetrable to armor-piercing rounds. It then burst open from impact with the ground, leaving him unharmed. The very fact he suffered no injury from the bullets. He then made it home, I forget how. Went and built one, which he flew no problem sraight away. The othe rguy, makes a suit 10x better from the plans of the old one. He crushes ironmans head like it was foil, but then can't crush ironman. Why was the convoy flown into the middle of hostile territory? So that it could then drive out of it? None of it made any sense, come on man.
Dude, he was a sexy flying robot. If you obsess about logic for every movie you see, you will have a hard time enjoying anything. Just sit back and enjoy the flashing lights.

Hmm... I am not going to see it for love or money, but live action Dragon Ball Z looks utterly horrible.

Oh, and even though I am in crazy love with star trek I thought if was funny how often he got beat up anf how much time he spent hanging by his fingertips.
 

garfoldsomeoneelse

Charming, But Stupid
Mar 22, 2009
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Schindler's List.

...I kid.

My real answer is "Epic Movie", because there is no plot. It's just a shitty sequence of unfunny strung-together pop culture references.

You have to wonder what the brainstorming sessions were like, coming up with that basket of turds.

Asshole 1: "Okay, so, how do we cram another pop culture reference in, and combine it with unsophisticated scatological humour to make the preteens laugh?"
Asshole 2: "Uh... SUDOKU! Okay, people today like Sudoku or something, right? Well, how about we put in Sudoku or whatever the hell it's called, and have the lead character pissing it into the snow?!"
Asshole 1: "BRILLIANT!"