Most Stupid Plotline

[ConjurerOfChaos]

Well, as much as I loved that game (unless I ran into a bug that caused it to be unfinishable and that even the wiki for the game doesn't fucking know) the "plot" of Fallout: New Vegas is somewhat ... stupid, for reasons of absence. Maybe it was my playstyle of taking over 35 hours to travel to the fabled town of New Vegas, but once I got there and met up with the guy who did ... something or other to me, I didn't even care anymore.
And besides, why should I be angry at him anways? Shooting me down was the best thing that coulda happened to me, seeing as now I am a bigshot in the NCR, have my own ***** sniper and pet robot, more money than I would care to spend and am a hero of tales and legends ...
And then, when Benny leaves the Casino to get himself captured by the Legion, I run into a bug that causes my game to crash when I want to travel to Cottonwood Cove, so I don't know if there is any payoff to it all.
Now, the sad thing here is that while the game is filled to the brim with small, interesting little stories (plus the big one with NCR vs The Legion and everything ...) my own personal story was so absent that I forgot it existed until running into Benny (unintentionally, as I must point out).

Another one that always gets me off is Mirror's Edge, which, beside other things was also full of holes, one of which is actually pretty creepy.

1) If Jack (that his name? The dickweed always talking into Faith's ear) has access to every camera in the city and has apparently implanted a microphone into Faith's body that allows him to listen to everything she says and everything that is said to her, how does that make him better than 'the man', against whom he is fighting?
2) If the cops don't bother the Runners, then why are they manufacturing an anti-runner group of people?
3) If Jack (he is not called Jack, is he?) is watching Faith ALL THE FUCKING TIME, how can

Spoiler

Celeste betray him?! He sees where she is, hears what she says, everything ... how can she betray him to HIS ENEMIES without him noticing?! Unless, of course, he points all his equip only at Faith, and that is where it gets really, really weird ...

God, I hate that game.

On a more general note, I hate every game where support characters show up and then decide to simply kick back, relax and let me do all the dirty work for them, because while they are supposed to be my "friends" I can't help but hate them for that, because it basically makes me, the bigshot protagonist guy just a tool that the others use to fend off whatever evil is waiting at their doorstep today;
this happens mostly in shooters and most of the RPGs I have played (only there the support characters tend to stay in the base/village/castle/camp and wait for me to return).

Gameplay only goes so far when it comes to saving a game, and I can forgive a lot of flaws if the story is well-thought and engaging (hello, Alan Wake!).

 

[LAGG]

The most stup plot is Resident Evil 4 without a doubt. It's a big mess of cliche and nonsense from beginning to end.

As ridiculous as Resi 4 is, Resident Evil 2 is about a cop on his very first day and a biker-chick who have to save a city from zombies, infected animals and, mutants from an evil pharmaceutal company who can't spell

Why it's ridiculous? Leon and Clare are grossly under-qualified to do any of what they've done. Presumably Leon spent some time on the gun range but Clare is a non-entity as of this point in the continuity: it's her brother Chris who is a member of S.T.A.R.S. Zombies alone decimated the Raccoon City police department and the entire SWAT team, not to mention Umbrella Security squads. Any given member of any given organization who is already dead is likely far more qualified to have survived. What complicated matters even more is the fact that Resident Evil 3 happens while Resi 2 is going on so at any moment, Nemesis could have smashed Leon and Clare into paste just as William or the Mr. X could have murdered the Hell out of Jill or Carlos.

That's an interesting POV. I don't think they ever had to save a city from zombies, they just wanted to get away (Claire wanted to find Chris too) and that's what they did (except of course the player faces some tough enemies in the way, so the characters must too). Claire could have hung out with a motocycle gang or something, that explain he can handle a handgun, but a modern crossbow and an anti-riot grenade launcher (for which you only find lethal ammo) is another story.

Anyway many games just fall in that case of characters that shouldn't have some knowledge about guns and stuff happen to simply used them. That's streamlined design for gameplay sake. The equivalent in RE4 are all the Matrix moves and stuff, but the plot and dialogue are on an entire new level of B-movie-ness (almost feels like a satire to north american plots), like it could be called Scary Game and do just fine. Well there's Vanquish too...

 

[Casual Shinji]

Even RE4 (which has little to do with Umbrella) has some stupid story bits in it such as:

The plan to send Ashley back to America as a sleeper agent, only we can't let the secret agent do so, and we also have to wait till the parasite is fully developed and she becomes just as mindless as the Ganandos.

Saddler wants Leon dead, but instead of killing him directly after he kills Luis with his giant phallic tentacle he walks away (not even attempting to take the parasite suppressor pill off of Luis as he's dying) simply stating that Salazar can deal with you, as in that 20 year old midget whom has failed to kill you numerous times already.

Salazar tries to kill you by merging with a large ass parasite plant like thing and his last remaining Verdugo to become a stationary monster with obvious weak points even though you clearly showed that you could kill 1 Verdugo (They're really fast and deal high damage) in tight corridors, 2 El Gigante (giants...) at once in a relatively small room, and an elevator ride with multiple infected priests, most of which have a Plaga that can kill you with one attack inside their bodies.

So yeah, Resident Evil series is kinda dumb...I still love it though.

That's what makes it so damn funny! At the end of RE4 Leon has single handedly laid waste to Saddler's entire personnel, and still he's all "you have not won, muahahaha".

The first time you encounter Saddler he explains he needs Ashley alive for his masterplan, and what's the first thing he does? Call in two of his monks to shoot flaming arrows at her. But what makes it so great is that the game seems to be very much aware of how silly it is, giving RE4 the most enjoyable story and characters in the series.

The fucking childish banter between Leon and Salazar/Saddler was just priceless.

 

[Miles Castea]

Killer 7. It makes NO SENSE.

 

[bug_of_war]

That's what makes it so damn funny! At the end of RE4 Leon has single handedly laid waste to Saddler's entire personnel, and still he's all "you have not won, muahahaha".

The first time you encounter Saddler he explains he needs Ashley alive for his masterplan, and what's the first thing he does? Call in two of his monks to shoot flaming arrows at her. But what makes it so great is that the game seems to be very much aware of how silly it is, giving RE4 the most enjoyable story and characters in the series.

The fucking childish banter between Leon and Salazar/Saddler was just priceless.

Oh I know, and that is why I love it too. It's so wanky at times that you've just gotta laugh.

 

[squid5580]

Defiance

Long before your character shows up some stuff happened on earth with aliens. The planet got messed up. You get an omnipotent voice in your head (who is a psychopath) to help find a magic mcguffin that won't do anything about anything even if you do get it.

 

[hazabaza1]

The fucking childish banter between Leon and Salazar/Saddler was just priceless.

"Your right hand comes off?"

OT: I know I already posted in this thread but FUCK IT I've been playing Brutal Legend and it's dumb as fuck but in a good kind of way.

 

[excalipoor]

-"Gackt" aka "G" aka "Genesis". In a plotline that will thankfully go nowhere.

Now you've gone and jinxed it. Thanks a lot...

 

[Atmos Duality]

Now you've gone and jinxed it. Thanks a lot...

If Fate is going to be a *****, I'm going to throw rocks at her windows every chance I can get.
You hear me Squeenix!? Bring on the stupid Genesis story! You can't possibly fail any harder! Not after Dirge! NOT AFTER FF14!!

YOU HEAR ME??!!!

*ahem*
There, that ought to do the trick.

 

[crazy_coug99]

I'm gonna go with Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. Aside from what you get from the trailers, you get to fight you old commanding officer as he tries to wipe out what is left of humanity. This is during the year 2007 and after World War III in which Canada is a nuclear wasteland. So humanity is on the brink of extinction and your trying to destroy it again, great thinking genius. Also, there are cyber-sharks and blood dragons that fires lasers out of its eyes...LASERS OUT OF ITS EYES!!!!!!!! The entire game is stupid, very bad 80s one-liners, terrible character that you just hate them as much as the dialog and the voice acting, trying to understand everything is damn near impossible but goddamnit its a great game. Pick it up.

 

[Zeh Don]

Well, anything out of Blizzard Entertainment post-World of Warcraft is a contender. I mean, Starcraft II's story line was insulting bad.

But, I think the cake has to go to Diablo III. On top of everything else the game got wrong, the story line is the worst I've ever experienced in a AAA title, and damn near the worst story I've ever been told period. I can't think of a single thing that made sense, felt organic or natural, or felt like it belonged.
There were plenty of World of Warcraft winks, though.

 

[Auron225]

snip

Ok, just about all of that stuff was ridiculous and I'll give you that, but;

-A 28 year old woman trapped in a 14 year old's body, who is the lead's "romantic interest". How Squicky of you, Squeenix.

Umm, no? The "romantic interest" was Dr Lucrecia (sp?). I don't think Shelke was ever meant to be seen as a romantic interest - she was just a main-ish character. Even disregarding Lucrecia, the next most likely candidate for romantic interest would be Shelkes' sister but even that is a stretch.

What I really wanted to know about that game was how the heck Rosso got into a fight with Cloud and didn't die. It never showed you their fight or anything but you know it happened and if he can kill Sephiroth, he can kill her. Yet she shows up later without a scratch on her.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Umm, no? The "romantic interest" was Dr Lucrecia (sp?). I don't think Shelke was ever meant to be seen as a romantic interest - she was just a main-ish character. Even disregarding Lucrecia, the next most likely candidate for romantic interest would be Shelkes' sister but even that is a stretch.

Well...
Shelke, for a time, plays the role of Lucretia by downloading her memory (in the same stupid, unexplained manner as Hojo. Yeah, I totally believe the human psyche can fit onto six 3.5 in Floppies) to cheer Vincent on.

Later, she is shown to be the only one really "waiting" for Vincent.
And at the same time Vincent "gets over" Lucretia, accepting her forgiveness at the end.

You can downplay that angle as you want (or NEED), but I've been exposed to enough unpleasant squick to know just what angle was being played there. It's fanfic fuel, which is unfortunately apropos since Dirge's story is written like a bad fanfic. I mean, what the fuck happened between FF7 and Dirge where FF7 turned into DragonBall Z?

The other contender I had for this topic, was Drakengard, but even amidst the nasty shit in that game, I actually kinda respect its segmented plotline. It's dark as hell, and not necessarily in a good way, but it doesn't dive headfirst into cheap incompetence like Dirge...mostly anyway.

What I really wanted to know about that game was how the heck Rosso got into a fight with Cloud and didn't die. It never showed you their fight or anything but you know it happened and if he can kill Sephiroth, he can kill her. Yet she shows up later without a scratch on her.

After infiltrating Deepground, I just threw up my hands and did my best to just let the stupid plot holes wash over me.
My best guess is that because that fight didn't happen on screen, it didn't count?

I dunno.
In cutscenes, Vincent is able to one-shot boss monsters and fly.
In the actual game, Vincent is incapable of hopping over a park bench.

Dirge of Cerberus: "Consistency is for the weak."

 

[pat34us]

All of you fail for not mentioning Final Fantasy 13.

Let me remind you of the epic failure of the plot.

The party is sent on an unknown mission from an unknown god. How do they complete the mission if they don't know it you ask? Good question, because their mission was never explained in game, they just kind of wandered around hoping they would get lucky.