Mourning the dead.

[anthony87]

Take these two sentences as an example.

I am mourning the death of my sister

and

I am sad because of my sisters death.

Can you not see the difference ? One is an action the other is an emotion.

Yes, but the action of mourning is to be sad, so you get

"I am being sad because of my sisters death"

and

"I am sad because of my sisters death."

which are the same thing.

Isn't a wake done all over the world?

It's not just here in Ireland is it?

Actually in Ireland we have a weird custom called a "wake" (no, not that [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/archive/d/d7/20100212023242!Alan-wake-0.jpg] one) Where, once embalmed, the dead person is taken round to their house or the house of a relative, and stays there in their coffin for 2 or 3 days, whereby everyone can come over to visit and pay their respects (which basically means a pile of people coming in and saying "Och, doesn't she look like herself") And everyone brings tea and sandwiches and generally sit around, talking about the deceased and drinking tea.

It's a really good way of saying goodbye, giving a break from the everyday routine for a few days to get your head around the loss, and bringing all your family and friends together for support

Isn't a wake done all over the world?

It's not just here in Ireland is it?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

So i want to look at this from a logical standpoint. Why do people , mourn the dead? Is it because of tradition? Is it out of respect?Why does humanity do this ?

Before i go on, i would like to precise that " mourning" and "being sad" are two completly different things.

I can understand why someone would be sad of their loved one passing.But to mourn them ? Logically it doesn't make sense. The person isn't there to see it.And it doesn't do anything for the dead person.

So why do mourn?Where did the idea that we must mourn our loved ones come from?

I am confused by your distinction between being sad and mourning. So, instead of addressing that, I'll go directly to why we have funerals.

We have a funeral so we can say goodbye - for closure. Also, it allows family and friends to comfort one another. It is a tradition for good reason - it really does help people deal with the loss and sadness they've experienced.

 

[anthony87]

Want it all you like OP, once someone or something you care about is gone forever logic tends to take a kick in the head no matter how much you wish it didn't.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Isn't a wake done all over the world?

It's not just here in Ireland is it?

Oh, umm, maybe it is. I was told it was quite an old tradition that only really happens in Ireland any more, and in America and most other countries they would have an open casket at the funeral, but it would be a lot less personal than the undead tea-party that is the Irish Wake.

 

[debossman21]

i can say i have had the same question. you don't really understand why until it happens to you. when my mom died, thats when i understood. it helps a lot especially me i way almost suicidal and mourning somehow made things easier. like i said u never really understand till happens, not saying someone must die for you to mourn but that u don't truly understand until its close to u.

 

[Syphous]

This thread is really pointless. Why do we mourn the dead? Seriously? What a stupid question. Even if you've never had someone close to you die, I have to imagine you can figure it out on your own.

 

[DracoSuave]

I can understand why someone would be sad of their loved one passing.But to mourn them ? Logically it doesn't make sense. The person isn't there to see it.And it doesn't do anything for the dead person.

Mourning isn't a display, it's not a social obligation. It's not a ceremony, it's not something people do because it's how you're a 'good funeral goer.'

People mourn because SOMEONE THEY LOVE DIED AND IT HELPS THEM COPE WITH NEVER SEEING THAT PERSON EVER AGAIN EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN.

I envy you.

Some people can go through a lot of their life not understanding what mourning is, because they don't. But, you will, because death is a part of the living condition. I wish, however, you can go as long as you can without knowing what mourning is. Enjoy the time you have.

Right now, the death of a loved one is an intellectual theory, rather than an emotional reality. You're innocent. Enjoy it.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Mourning is the natural result of losing someone precious. You may try to celebrate their life and move on but you can't help but fucking miss them. Of course reality wins out in the end but it certainly isn't a social convention. Mourning is just how the complex emotions come out.

 

[holy_secret]

I do because I still feel guilty about being alive and being happy.
Makes no sense, I know. But when have emotions ever made sense?

 

[UnderCoverGuest]

Logically it doesn't make sense.

Well maybe not to you, but not all of us are from the planet Vulan.

Be you religious or not. Atheists don't believe in any diety , therefore the dead person is gone and cannot witness the mourning ceremony (funeral).

Funeral: "The ceremonies for a dead person prior to burial or cremation". I don't know about you, but I don't see 'God' or 'Deity' in that common definition. When I go to funerals, I do so to pay respect to those who have passed away--it is an emotional moment, not a logical one, you robot. To, 'remember the good times' as it were. Whoop.

 

[EvilPicnic]

My grandad died a couple of days ago. I'm going to the funeral on thursday because a) I want to see the body buried, b) I want to support my family, and c) because I want my family's support because I feel a wee bit sad about the whole thing.

Why do I feel sad? Because I've lost something important that I can never get back, and also because (selfishly) it raises issues of my own mortality.

Mourning is entirely emotional: it is simply feeling sad and reflecting on a loss. Any rituals are to help people help each other through it. You are overthinking it maybe. Grief and mourning are as natural as love and loving.