Movie Defense Force: Alien: Resurrection

[keserak]

This movie isn't funny, so if it's a comedy, it's shit.

This movie isn't ironic or insightful or amusing, so if it's a parody, it's shit.

The CGI was terrible at the time of release; my friends and I cringed upon first seeing it.

The movie isn't weird -- it's banal. The problem is that every take on the mythology of the series is stupidly fucking bad in the same way all science-fiction or fantasy premises, handled by a hack, is stupidly fucking bad: turn the idea into unreflective tripe, laden with buzzwords, so you can get on with your masturbatory character drama that really interests you.

That's not weird. Science fiction fans have been putting up with that for generations. That's why when a creator dies and his or her material gets sold to a big-name producer, that creator's fans all collectively cringe. Hollywood veterans with good reputations know they can shit all over a story, theme, or concept and just explore their own material, then slap the franchise name on the result and call it a day.

That's what happened here. Except for the author pathetically claiming that his script wasn't bad and his fanboys defending him.

For example: the Newborn was boring. By attempting to humanize the alien, they took away every elegant thing Giger had given it. It was a pastiche monster, the result of a 3d modeler being used as a toy. Plus, its origins were unjustifiably stupid. The movie was a cartoon, a warped example of nonsensical fairy-tale logic, but without the sense of wonder of the latter or the punchlines of the former, and the newborn was the epitome of that.

I'd honestly forgotten Perlman was in this piece of shit. I just remember being bored to tears when I wasn't insulted. I'm pretty sure one of my friends cracked a joke after I saw it (though I can't remember the joke); that was the first time I'd laughed in hours.

 

[minimacker]

The newborn is creepy as hell, but when you've got such comedic elements, you can't help but shake your head at what could have been an even scarier theme.

 

[CalUKGR]

For me, the biggest reason to like Alien Resurrection is the fantastic set design - easily as good as that seen in the original Alien. Beautiful sets throughout the film provide, at the very least, a convincing 'industrial sci-fi' aesthetic faithful to the 'raining indoors' cathedral-like visuals of Scott's first film in the franchise. Story and plot be buggered: I came for the eye-candy and I wasn't disappointed by what I saw.

 

[Incomer]

EDITED: I don't know why these films must always have their cast of misfits. That approach ruined Prometheus. It's a trope that needs to die. There's a reason after all that support characters are called support characters. Think about it.

Because otherwise you will get just a bunch of people who seem to be rather same-y and that makes for a boring show. You don't have the time {in today's hectic TV/movies) to show off little characteristic flaws/differences between bunch of stone cold professionals so you end up with group of 2 legged sci-fi tropes.

 

[Incomer]

My only problem with this movie (and I've only seen it once): Winona Ryder. My only problem with Star Trek 2009: Winona Ryder. My only problem with Mr. Deeds: Winona Ryder.

Can someone please just make her go away? And digitally insert someone with actual talent into every role she's ever played ever?

Huh. Ryder(The only Winona in the realm of entertainment I acknowledge being a gun) was in the Star Trek reboot? I've seen that movie twice and apparently my brain edited her presence out.

Mother of Spock

 

[Lovely Mixture]

I'm a little confused how the Newborn "corrupts" the concept of the Aliens.

Aliens have the same general shape but take on some characteristics of the host.
Human born aliens walk on two legs.
Dog/Cat born aliens walk on all fours.

Why wouldn't the Queen born from Ripley have extended reproductive capabilities?

The hybrid though... It succeeds at being creepy, I'll give it that, but it corrupts the central element of the series (the Aliens) way too much. Then again, nothing as disgusting as what they did with the Predalien in AvP:Requiem.

What did they do to the Predalien? Or are you critiquing the concept of the Predalien?

I'm thoroughly a fan of the Alien Quadrilogy, front to back, each film for its own reasons. If you go on to defend any of the AVP's, however, I'll draw the line there and I'll say so, godammit. [nudge, lol]

Haha, if he can defend the first AVP I'll be amazed.

The only Alien or AvP film that really can't be defended in some way, imo, is AvP:Requiem.

Really? I thought Requiem was a godsend compared to AVP 1.

 

[Cabamacadaf]

I would love to see a prequel to this movie, featuring the space pirate guys.

 

[Rabidkitten]

Well I'm a little late to this party but let's explain why its a piece of fucking shit. It breaks the series convention aggressively, which in turn cheapens the rest of an up to that point pretty damn good series. By being a weird overacted dark comedy. It lacks the tension, and contrasted visual design of the prior films. The visual design is a big issue, filled with soft red lightning and a complete lack of sharpness. The aliens are no longer something in the shadows that we fear coming out and eating our asshole, instead they are just there and pop up whenever without a bit of thrill. The set design and shot composition is not menacing ever. The whole visual design is just a mess from start to finish from the cheap visual effects, the silly makeup costumes, to the goofy alien designs, its just B-Movie trash at best. The next issue is the massive critical mass of camp, with over the shoulder basketball shots, silly over the top death scenes, corny dialogue, and an endless wave of silly melodrama. Ripply is so melodramatic its reaches a point of complete disconnect, and her crew of rag tag characters rise to the melodrama occasion as well which makes not a single character the viewer can relate to. The plot is a mess, and rife with ludicrous holes, characters act nonsensically, the script is a mess as well, so forth, and so on. Literally there is nothing good about this film, you can say, "well if viewed as a dark comedy space thing on its own, its not bad." But its a terrible dark comedy space film with literally nothing redeeming, top it off with the fact that it cheapened an up to that point pretty solid series only makes it all the worse.

Its boring, not funny, painful to watch, and a fucking disgrace considering it came from the guy who made City of the Lost Children and Delicatessen.