ok well this is the first review i ever wrote (i think) so please excuse it for sucking. im going for a good, bad, final decision thing here.
anyway...
Friday the 13th is a porno aimed at people with a blood fetish... i mean a slasher movie about a guy who has the power to make people stupid. i saw this movie and thought: why does it suck so much?
the good: well it does pick up a bit in the last twenty minutes or so, but thats about it.
the bad: like i pointed out above, its got a bit of a thing for the characters getting it on. i guess this is a staple of slashers, but the only other one i have ever seen was nightmare on elm street (the first one). NoES was pretty tame compared to Ft13th, and of course it had an actual plot. oh and Freddy Kreuger was a pretty compelling character, with actual lines. Jason Voorhees, however, definitely doesnt seem to have the same likeability. maybe its because this one is a sequel and he didnt get a proper introduction. maybe its because Jason never ever talks. maybe its because Jason obviously has the power to teleport even though hes doesnt have supernatural powers like Freddy (actually i think he does, but they dont say that in this film, oh no). back to the rampant sex, now i think that Friday the 13th should be something that has actual depth instead of endless fanservice interspersed with fetishist fanservice. its like they think that i cant even understand anything more complicated than "people fuck and then they die". this claim is supported by the fact that they obviously have no patience for writing, because there isnt any. theres absolutely no plot and 90% of the dialogue feels like it was improvised. and it includes such memorable paraphrased lines as "you came this close to pressing the on button on the whoopass machine". truly horrible.
verdict: i didnt like it. maybe rent it if youre a big fan of slasher movies, or if your some sort of completionist for movie series. just dont come crying to me when you get bored.
so my first review is done. i know i sound like a yahtzee style reviewer, but i genuinely didnt like it. and again i apologize for the badness of the review. at least it wasnt too long.
anyway...
Friday the 13th is a porno aimed at people with a blood fetish... i mean a slasher movie about a guy who has the power to make people stupid. i saw this movie and thought: why does it suck so much?
the good: well it does pick up a bit in the last twenty minutes or so, but thats about it.
the bad: like i pointed out above, its got a bit of a thing for the characters getting it on. i guess this is a staple of slashers, but the only other one i have ever seen was nightmare on elm street (the first one). NoES was pretty tame compared to Ft13th, and of course it had an actual plot. oh and Freddy Kreuger was a pretty compelling character, with actual lines. Jason Voorhees, however, definitely doesnt seem to have the same likeability. maybe its because this one is a sequel and he didnt get a proper introduction. maybe its because Jason never ever talks. maybe its because Jason obviously has the power to teleport even though hes doesnt have supernatural powers like Freddy (actually i think he does, but they dont say that in this film, oh no). back to the rampant sex, now i think that Friday the 13th should be something that has actual depth instead of endless fanservice interspersed with fetishist fanservice. its like they think that i cant even understand anything more complicated than "people fuck and then they die". this claim is supported by the fact that they obviously have no patience for writing, because there isnt any. theres absolutely no plot and 90% of the dialogue feels like it was improvised. and it includes such memorable paraphrased lines as "you came this close to pressing the on button on the whoopass machine". truly horrible.
verdict: i didnt like it. maybe rent it if youre a big fan of slasher movies, or if your some sort of completionist for movie series. just dont come crying to me when you get bored.
so my first review is done. i know i sound like a yahtzee style reviewer, but i genuinely didnt like it. and again i apologize for the badness of the review. at least it wasnt too long.
