Moving away from home.

[Doclector]

Next year I am going to university. I wish I could leave it a little longer but as usual the british government insists on making things that bit harder for me, and this time the rest of britains youth. For those who don't know, fees are being raised in 2012, meaning anyone who wants university education for a fair price has to go now, or never.

I have two main choices. I either study creative digital video at Exeter College, my current college, for two years, making my usual 30 minute train journey every day, before going somewhere else to study the third year. Or I go to plymouth university for, media arts,a course which seems like it will get me far further...but I'll have to move away from home within a matter of months from now, and stay there for three years.

The obvious choice to me seems to be plymouth university. I want to pursue a career in film, I'm serious about it, I should just go for the best course, right? Thing is, after my interview with Exeter college's HE department, I feel tempted to stay there. I don't feel ready to move out, even though I'm twenty. I'm terrified. The prospect of moving in with "normal" people with nothing different about them, the very sort of people who bullied me for years, the very sort of people that destroyed me as a person even before I fully formed myself as a person, makes me feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.

What's more, what if I mess up? What if I miscalcuate, overspend, and find one month, I can't afford the rent? It'd be over. I know I'm a damn idiot, I know how likely it is to happen. What if I fall out with someone? Where will I go? Where would be safe? I hardly think of a small (but admittedly livable) student halls apartment as a safe zone against the most violent, senseless being on the planet, AKA an angered human being. They'd know where I live. Where to find me. That worries me.

And the student halls is only for the first year. Then I have to seek shared housing with other students. How's that gonna work? Who the hell would want me as a housemate? I don't know if I can gamble my education on there being someone who is far enough from the social norm to accept me into their damn home.

Dammit, this sounds even more like the most stupid idea I ever had on paper (or rather on screen). I guess what I'm asking here is, do you think I should go for it? I want to ask a councillor, or connexions, or someone, but I knwo they'll say I should stay at home, no matter the cost to my education. It's always the damn same, they pull up my records saying I have aspergers and they take it as an excuse for me to chicken out of everything, even if I don't, even won't accept that. I've always been a cynic of the limiting effects of aspergers. I know it has an impact, but not to the point where I may as well be a vegatable, and even that impact is just from people's ignorant views towards anyone different in any way. So if anyone here has any advice, I'd appreciate it.

 

[Simalacrum]

As a first year student myself (at University of Manchester, pretty much on the other side of the country from where I used to live in Reading) and having gone through the scariness of leaving home, I say go for Plymouth. Definitely.

You can say "what if" as much as you want dude - if your going to go after that dream career of yours, your going to have to take some big risks, and university is one of them!

The prospect of moving in with "normal" people with nothing wrong with them, the very sort of people who bullied me for years, the very sort of people that destroyed me as a person even before I fully formed myself as a person, makes me feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.

Well, the thing is, such 'normal' (bullies and such) people don't always end up in university anyways - you might get not-so-nice people for flat mates, or you might get really awesome people! This is one aspect you shouldn't worry about, mainly cause theres nothing you can do about it. Just cross your fingers and take the dive! If you dislike your flatmates, best thing to do is just ignore them - I'm kinda 'meh' with my flat mates, I don't fight them I don't hang out with them or anything really either, so generally speaking I'll acknowledge their existence if we're both using the kitchen or something, but mostly I go along fine never communicating with some of them

What's more, what if I mess up? What if I miscalcuate, overspend, and find one month, I can't afford the rent? It'd be over.

Ok, both the university and banks should be aware that this will be the first time for many students to be handling large amounts of money, so they should certainly have precautions for such people. Talk to them about financial woes! One important thing to do is to open a students account - the overdraft can be a life saver, and is specifically designed just in case people miscalculate and stuff - don't worry, your not the only one with such concerns!

I know I'm a damn idiot, I know how likely it is to happen. What if I fall out with someone? Where will I go? Where would be safe? I hardly think of a small (but admittedly livable) student halls apartment as a safe zone against the most violent, senseless being on the planet, AKA an angered human being. They'd know where I live. Where to find me. That worries me.

Most student halls have seriously tough security. The bigger ones have security guards and CCTV and everything, and even my halls (the smallest halls in Manchester Uni) have recently installed a fancy high-tech keycard doodle and about 5 different locked doors to get through before one can get to your actual room. So student halls apartments are definitely safe zones

And the student halls is only for the first year. Then I have to seek shared housing with other students. How's that gonna work? Who the hell would want me as a housemate? I don't know if I can gamble my education on there being someone who is far enough from the social norm to accept me into their damn home.

Don't worry about your social life too much! I did, and it turned out to be perfectly fine. A good way to try and find people you would be happy to live with is to go to societies (uni equivalent of clubs) and get involved with people who have similar interests as you. There is no 'social norm' in university, people of all social backgrounds come, so there is bound to be someone you get along with
edit: Generally its also a good idea to get together with a group of friends and work out somewhere to live cooperatively when it comes to house hunting. As I said, for finding such friends there are plenty of societies where you can find like-minded people, or if worse comes to worse the disability office should be able to help you. Personally, I've gotten together with about 3 other class mates and found a home for next year

Dammit, this sounds even more like the most stupid idea I ever had on paper (or rather on screen). I guess what I'm asking here is, do you think I should go for it? I want to ask a councillor, or connexions, or someone, but I knwo they'll say I should stay at home, no matter the cost to my education. It's always the damn same, they pull up my records saying I have aspergers and they take it as an excuse for me to chicken out of everything, even if I don't, even won't accept that. I've always been a cynic of the limiting effects of aspergers. I know it has an impact, but not to the point where I may as well be a vegatable. So if anyone here has any advice, I'd appreciate it.

I have Aspergers too - don't worry! There is almost certainly societies for people with Aspergers anyways, and you should also try and contact the disability offices of the university who should be able to help you with most aspects of university life. Also important - get disability living allowance/disability student allowance! Getting them should be able to help a shit tonn, I get £270 a month due to DLA as well as a free laptop, phone, printer, and a shit load of other gizmo's to help me due to my Asperger Syndrome. So definitely go for it! Remember, Aspergers can be as much an advantage as it is a disadvantage

One last thing - never be afraid to ask for help. Your not the only frightened student leaving home for the first time ever, I was in that position too less than half a year ago. Chances are you won't be able to anticipate half the problems your going to face, so getting as much assistance as you can is crucial. However, in the end, university life is a great load of fun - don't miss out, and make the most of it! Take the risk and it will be worth it, so go for Plymouth young man!

Oh by the way (I know I said one last thing before but meh XD), I encourage you to get involved with any anti-cuts movements in your local area - the frankly ridiculous fee's rises is only the first step, and many university Unions are gearing up to protest. We need as many students to get involved as possible! Plus protesting and stuff is great fun

Goodluck!

edit 2: Also, if you have any other worries about university, feel free to pop me a PM whenever you want, I know what its like to go through the first few months of university and it certainly helps to have contacts you can ask help for

 

[Sneaklemming]

I wouldnt worry about flatmates, sure they can be a pain in the ass, or downright malicious in a worst case scenario, but usually flatmates let you live your life so that they can live theirs.

If you get a group or person who are friendly then it's great, and in first year (after freshers) you'll probably end up doing this with either your flatmates, your coursemates, or some people from the uni societies.

So generally it's grand for the "living with others" thing. Most people value their privacy, and will grant you yours if you want it.

When you get to uni, your uni will have tons of info to help you find out things like how to apply for a council tax grant to how to find the best pubs.

The most important thing to remember; you are going to be part of a whole load of people who are moving away for the first time, and many of whom will feel just as nervous as you. The truth of this kinda stuff is that nobody really knows what theyre doing.

 

[Karma168]

Next year I am going to university. I wish I could leave it a little longer but as usual the british government insists on making things that bit harder for me, and this time the rest of britains youth. For those who don't know, fees are being raised in 2012, meaning anyone who wants university education for a fair price has to go now, or never.

I have two main choices. I either study creative digital video at Exeter College, my current college, for two years, making my usual 30 minute train journey every day, before going somewhere else to study the third year. Or I go to plymouth university for, media arts,a course which seems like it will get me far further...but I'll have to move away from home within a matter of months from now, and stay there for three years.

The obvious choice to me seems to be plymouth university. I want to pursue a career in film, I'm serious about it, I should just go for the best course, right? Thing is, after my interview with Exeter college's HE department, I feel tempted to stay there. I don't feel ready to move out, even though I'm twenty. I'm terrified. The prospect of moving in with "normal" people with nothing different about them, the very sort of people who bullied me for years, the very sort of people that destroyed me as a person even before I fully formed myself as a person, makes me feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.

If your serious about doing this as a career then go get the degree, it's definitely worth it.

As for the housing, try get into university accommodation if available, everyone will be the same as you and you make friends really easily, people are to nervous about being the loner to really pick on anyone.

Besides at uni nobody knows you so you can try and reinvent yourself; if your usually shy find people with similar interests (universities have hundreds of clubs, there will definitely be one you like) and strike up a conversation.

When I first went to uni it was the first time I'd ever been away from home, during the induction week i was terribly homesick and was ready to pack it all in but once the course starts you can take your mind off it and just enjoy the experience.

What's more, what if I mess up? What if I miscalcuate, overspend, and find one month, I can't afford the rent? It'd be over. I know I'm a damn idiot, I know how likely it is to happen. What if I fall out with someone? Where will I go? Where would be safe? I hardly think of a small (but admittedly livable) student halls apartment as a safe zone against the most violent, senseless being on the planet, AKA an angered human being. They'd know where I live. Where to find me. That worries me.

If you overspend Universities generally have an emergency fund you can borrow for things like rent, it's not a lot but it can help if you've just had a bit of a splurge that month.

Halls have private rooms so if you piss off a flatmate you both have a space to get out of each others faces and let you cool off and if things get worse just ask the university to move you, there's usually a fee but if the situation's really bad it might be worth it.

And the student halls is only for the first year. Then I have to seek shared housing with other students. How's that gonna work? Who the hell would want me as a housemate? I don't know if I can gamble my education on there being someone who is far enough from the social norm to accept me into their damn home.

depends on the university but they might let 2nd years in and you can always apply to be a residency advisor and get paid to stay there and look after the new people. If not you can always find private halls with the friends you'll make in 1st year. Or if you're really worried about it you can find single bedroom flats; sure it's really expensive on your own but if you like your space it may be worth it.

Dammit, this sounds even more like the most stupid idea I ever had on paper (or rather on screen). I guess what I'm asking here is, do you think I should go for it? I want to ask a councillor, or connexions, or someone, but I knwo they'll say I should stay at home, no matter the cost to my education. It's always the damn same, they pull up my records saying I have aspergers and they take it as an excuse for me to chicken out of everything, even if I don't, even won't accept that. I've always been a cynic of the limiting effects of aspergers. I know it has an impact, but not to the point where I may as well be a vegatable, and even that impact is just from people's ignorant views towards anyone different in any way. So if anyone here has any advice, I'd appreciate it.

Sure it sounds scary when you write out everything your worried about but once your there there's a lot going on that takes your mind off it and in no time you are so used to it you'll wonder what the hell you were worrying about.

If You don't think your condition affects you then don't listen to anyone else who tries to tell you different. Go do what you want to do in life, so what if you fail? the experience you gain along the way is worth the risk.

Me personally I wouldn't recognise the person i was before i came to university. The same thing will happen to you.

Good luck with whatever you choose

 

[TheColdHeart]

What's more, what if I mess up? What if I miscalcuate, overspend, and find one month, I can't afford the rent? It'd be over. I know I'm a damn idiot, I know how likely it is to happen. What if I fall out with someone? Where will I go? Where would be safe? I hardly think of a small (but admittedly livable) student halls apartment as a safe zone against the most violent, senseless being on the planet, AKA an angered human being. They'd know where I live. Where to find me. That worries me.

And the student halls is only for the first year. Then I have to seek shared housing with other students. How's that gonna work? Who the hell would want me as a housemate? I don't know if I can gamble my education on there being someone who is far enough from the social norm to accept me into their damn home.

Moving out to university seems pretty daunting and at first it really can me. Once my parents left me in my student place I got this overwhelming feeling of "I'm on my own now..." but once I made friends and things got flowing you tend to forget all about it and it becomes quite enjoyable having 'your place'.

I'd only met 2 of my housemates once for about 10 minutes before I moved in and I thought we might clash but turned out I got on with them amazingly and we had an awesome time.

As with rent, as long as you set up a bank account (most banks do a Student Account and its usually got a decent overdraft incase of emergencies and some perks like the Natwest rail card) and have your student loans paid into that and use it as say a "rent and food" account and don't use it for going out and getting pissed or buying games with a bit of budgeting it all works itself out.

Getting a part time job helps too with money worries so you have an income so you can splurge on the fine things in life once in a while like...branded food!

Don't worry about pissing people off, it's a bridge you have to deal with crossing at the time and probably won't have to, yeah sometimes you have a tiff with someone over uni projects or something stupid but if you're adult about it things should be easiy to reconsile.