My conundrum.

[The Nossa]

Good evening escapist community,

As the new year had turned this morning I decided to have a small gathering of gamers. We played a few matches of Mortal Kombat, Halo and even broke out Kinect Sports.

So throughout the night everyone is having a great time and we hit midnight. Being Australians we disregard most laws. So we went outside to watch the neighbors let off their fireworks (Illegal to do without permit in Australia)

After all the excitement I dragged my longtime crush away from the party. So we were outside looking up at the stars and I said a few lines and told her I love her. She said sorry and I said don't worry, I'll move on. We returned to the party and continued having a great time. Eventually at around 6:00am we fell asleep.

So now the day has gone by. I spent it playing Halo and sitting on Facebook/Skype. The issue is that I'm being totally avoided. I want to tell her that what I said was just expression of what I had been holding in for so long.

I'm not interested in a relationship with her. As things would never work out. As I live in Australia and she lives in Thailand 11 months a year.

So fellow Escapists

-What should I do?
-What would you do?

Thankyou for your time and I appreciate your advice.

Nossa

 

[Colour Scientist]

She was probably taken aback when you said you loved her, it's a very strong word and it's never nice to have to reject someone. She probably just feels awkward around you now because the feelings are out in the open and it's only been a night.

Give her some time and eventually the awkwardness will fade away. Just let it settle for a while.

 

[Batou667]

She feels awkward and maybe even a little conflicted. She's probably also holding back to see whether your friendship was just based on the attraction. Just carry on as normal and things will fall back into place.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Why did you say that stuff if you weren't interested in pursuing a relationship? All it was ever going to result in was awkwardness with absolutely no return. Sorry, but you sort of dug your own hole.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

^ so much this, though I can understand you wanting to get it out. But still XD

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Manic depressive said it best :/ You made a poor choice. Give her room. Plenty of room. Its so tempting to try and pin people down for explanations, but at the end of the day they dont owe you squat really, they have no duty to tell you how they feel. You said a thing and she reacted, you gotta accept it. Give her time. Be patient. Distract yourself. When shes cool about it talk to her normally. You might get a girl who wants to dicuss it for closure. You might get one that wants it to be water under the brigde. Just go with it.

 

[Deadyawn]

Play more halo. That's what I would do.

I don't actually think that's a terribly good idea and it wont help the situation in any way but that is precisely what I would do.

What you should do: Hell if I know, that's not really an area I have knowledge in. Whatever happens though, good luck.

 

[Luke3184]

First point, with no interest in a relationship that was a grade A stupid idea that was going to resort in awkwardness no matter what.

The solution: You now have to play a wonderfully complex balancing act, if you don't distance yourself enough, she'll probably think you're being a little bit creepy and unable to take no for an answer. However if you go too distant she'll think the friendship was built off of the attraction and we'll probably resent you for it. So yeah, having had some degree of experience in this area that is my conclusion.


If it makes you feel any better then me and the girl developed an incredibly close friendship post stupid comment.

Have fun.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Ok you got all sorts of denial layers going on here, so let's get to the important part.
She is avoiding you because she needs space right now, so make sure you give it to her, hold off for a couple of weeks and if she didn't contact you by then give her a friendly message to make sure there are no hard feelings.

Now for future reference please consider that dumping such feelings on someone unexpectedly is a huge burden on them, sure it's a boulder off your chest but they just got cornered by it, so don't be surprised when their first reaction is climbing the walls to get away.
If you want things to go smoothly then ease people into it, don't just blindside them and expect favorable results.