My friend recently admitted......

[Seldon2639]

Even if he said that he wants them to not have equal rights (by which I assume he means he's against gay marriage, against civil unions, and hates the decision in Lawrence v. Texas), unless he's actively harming people, he has the right to his opinion. He's no more "wrong" than someone who believes the opposite (except insofar as we apply our own normative perspectives to the issue, and that's hardly objective).

If it makes you uncomfortable as his friend, you can tell him, but don't get into a high dudgeon about it. If you make it all about how his opinion is "wrong" and "hurtful" and "mean spirited", you'll end the friendship. If you make it about how you feel about it, you might be able to salvage it.

Don't be judgmental, unless you just want to stop being friends. If he says something that makes you uncomfortable, you might mention it to him, but if you try to change him it'll backfire. You don't get to teach him a lesson, much less "fix" his "defect". If you try to, you'll be no better than him (you'll be suppressing his right to free speech because his ideas are defective). Choose between your moral high ground, and your friendship. I'd personally stick with the friendship.

 

[Shapsters]

Let him have his prejudice, its his choice.

Shame though, its nice, I have gay friends who do my hair, and they make me look fantastic.

I wish I knew more gay people They seem so fun and happy!

They are actually, the best nights out in London are gay bars by far, I'm off this weekend actually with a big group, the only problem I have is "cruisers".

Cruisers are gay guys that specifically go after straight males, and I dont blame them, what with my fantastic hair! (and dolce and gabanna shirt)

Haha, be careful, you don't want to turn over to the RAINBOW Side.

 

[dwightsteel]

Even if he said that he wants them to not have equal rights (by which I assume he means he's against gay marriage, against civil unions, and hates the decision in Lawrence v. Texas), unless he's actively harming people, he has the right to his opinion. He's no more "wrong" than someone who believes the opposite (except insofar as we apply our own normative perspectives to the issue, and that's hardly objective).

If it makes you uncomfortable as his friend, you can tell him, but don't get into a high dudgeon about it. If you make it all about how his opinion is "wrong" and "hurtful" and "mean spirited", you'll end the friendship. If you make it about how you feel about it, you might be able to salvage it.

Don't be judgmental, unless you just want to stop being friends. If he says something that makes you uncomfortable, you might mention it to him, but if you try to change him it'll backfire. You don't get to teach him a lesson, much less "fix" his "defect". If you try to, you'll be no better than him (you'll be suppressing his right to free speech because his ideas are defective). Choose between your moral high ground, and your friendship. I'd personally stick with the friendship.

exactly. The likelihood of him changing his feelings on the matter are small. And even if it does happen, it's not going to be because you or anybody took offense to his view, but because an event or a choice happened that forced him to radically change his perspective. Your choice is to overlook what you see to be a character flaw on his part, and move on, or turn it into a hangup, which is really unadvised.

 

[DigitalSushi]

Let him have his prejudice, its his choice.

Shame though, its nice, I have gay friends who do my hair, and they make me look fantastic.

I wish I knew more gay people They seem so fun and happy!

They are actually, the best nights out in London are gay bars by far, I'm off this weekend actually with a big group, the only problem I have is "cruisers".

Cruisers are gay guys that specifically go after straight males, and I dont blame them, what with my fantastic hair! (and dolce and gabanna shirt)

Haha, be careful, you don't want to turn over to the RAINBOW Side.

firstly excellent use of colours, it looks fabulous darling!, really brings out your eyes.

Secondly, i've got a rainbow in my pic already.

 

[WeedWorm]

Your friend is a tool.

 

[Xerosch]

I, as a gay person, have made the experience that people who dislike gays think of very little when they deffine the word 'gay'. It's often an unintended, immature reaction, because they either only think about what we do in bed or aren't as sure of themselves (as a whole person) as they would like to be.
Once they get to know gay people they often had to admit they aren't as bad as they thought. It's just the uncertainty and the unknown that makes them react the way they do.

 

[blindey]

I'm scared of gays. They should stay away from 'normal' people places.

You mean like the internet sweetie? -.-...

Oh let people dislike the idea of being gay, but when people do actions that are discriminatory, then it is a problem. I don't really care if someone thinks it's gross or wrong so long as they don't voice it or act like dicks around people with differing opinions or life styles.

That's the thing though: can you really act in a manner without your beliefs influencing your thought processes, your opinion and/or intimately your decision to whatever it is?

My best friend is a lesbian and one of my housemates is gay so I personally couldnt be friends with someone who was against homosexuality. I've actually had to sever ties with people over this issue. Also, the people leaving comments saying its a mental disorder and its sick and wrong are making me so furious I dont even want to reply because I will seriously rant at you until my fingers bleed.

*hugs* I wanted to give you a hug. ^^

I get creeped out by gay people to, i'm a bit homophobic, but what two people do in their own bed none of my business.
I don't mind gay people as long as they don't hit on me. Lesbians, there fine, better then fine actually.

God I love that attitude : Yeah I don't like them fags makin' out 'n bein' loud about it but I like them lesbians. Just come on! Lesbian = gay. People need to stop with their insecurities and just get over the display of affection. Personally I don't care who does what as long as it's not like softcore porn in the middle of the street, just like kissing and hugging, that kinda thing, goes for any/all gender and sex combination.

to stop all the speculation, yes he is hateful of them and if i walked him up to a gay guy he would probably call him a stupid ******

I have a prejudice against homosexuals too.

At least that's what I'm told because I view it as a form of insanity (it fits the definition).

Well actually it's a genetic fault. Did you know a homosexual male's brain is shaped (different sizes of structures such as "fight or flight") like a heterosexual female's? Interesting stuff, I just wish homosexual people would stop getting so offended when I call tell them this.

This. The Amygdala and the Thalamus are sized differently in gay males and females brain's (being a gay female -> hetero male, gay male -> hetero female). I wouldn't understand why others would get offended and such, I guess because that goes literally into the stereotype associated with, that gay males have similar characteristics to straight females and that gay females have characteristics similar to straight males. I once read an op-ed piece somewhere a while back that now that we've more or less proved the biological factors are involved (eg. not a choice) another battleground will be the "gay gene" stuff. Such as isolating it and attempting to cure it, as various factions would want to do. To be honest when I read the thing about the brain and how how it was like that with homosexuals, I was very interested. See they'd done research like this before once that I know of but it had a lot of sampling problems, namely the tiny sample size about all had AIDS (It was the mid-80s I'm fairly certain and yeah..)

Oh yeah before I forget: I do subscribe to the theory that homophobia is (not solely but as a swath of other factors) linked to insecurity on the part of the male, and feelings of powerlessness. Indeed, I've read research that there are some that don't even care that they're gay, but it's the violation of typical gender norms and roles that made them angry, which brings into view a whole lot of other questions.

 

[zauxz]

Tell him the magic word.

whatever

 

[Kais86]

I have a prejudice against gays as well, they have better fashion sense than straight people and are more likely to be able to stylishly decorate a house.

Yeah prejudices can be stupid and, hypothetically, harmless.

That's actually a stereotype, a prejudice is a fixed disposition on something isn't it?

Same thing really, boils down to semantics and how malicious you want to make someone look, twisting words is an art form. By definition you are correct but so am I.

 

[Schnippshly]

I THINK YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF BIG RACISTS
no but seriously
your friend is stupid for being prejudiced against gays, tell him to stop being stupid

 

[scape]

Some of the funniest people I know are gay. And they still would be if they where gay.
It's just another life style with points for and against, nothing to get upset about.

Oh, and I use 'gay' as an insult, to me, and alot of people it doesn't really mean homosexual anymore(and let's remember its original usage didn't mean homosexual either)

 

[Altorin]

lol when i read the topic i thought your friend was admitting that he's gay

ditto.

 

[edinflames]

I have a prejudice against homosexuals too.

At least that's what I'm told because I view it as a form of insanity (it fits the definition).

Science Fail.

The 'gay gene' has been identified, but it isn't that simple. Only since Abrahamic religion (Christianity, Judaism, Islam) has homosexuality been seen as some form of deviance, your perception is based on the culture you have grown up in, you have been taught to see their behavior as aberrant when in reality it is not.

Go back to pre-Christian Civilisation and you see that people didn't see it in terms of 'gay' and 'straight' - there were 'people you found attractive' and 'people you didn't find attractive'. Julius Caesar was notorious for having sexual relations with the most beautiful people of both genders - and his soldiers admired him for this.

The truth is approx 10% of people are 100% homosexual, approx 20% are 100% heterosexual and 70% of people are some degree of bisexuality. It is our culture that represses our basic desires, not our desires that corrupt our culture.

 

[Circus Ascendant]

I am prejudiced against homosexuals, I think that it is a psycho-sexual disorder. I am a Conservative Anglican so I am obligated to believe that. Your friend is entitled to his opinion.

Christ on a bike you're not OBLIGATED to believe ANYTHING. Make your own mind.

 

[MmmFiber]

To preface my statement: I have gay friends and family members. I'm very accepting of gay people. I also believe gay marriage should be legal in all 50 states.

To be truthful, being gay DOES go against nature. It's just not the norm. It's an oddity. But from people I know, they like going against the grain. They dont necessarily want a "normal" hetero relationship... some do though. I wouldn't want to be intimate with another man. But I certainly dont hold it against anyone.

In short, as long as he isn't being malicious or detrimental to anyone, let him have his opinion. No one wants to have an idea forced on them, whether it be from one side or the other.

 

[TheEvilDuck]

I have a prejudice against homosexuals too.

At least that's what I'm told because I view it as a form of insanity (it fits the definition).

if it was mental sickness i strongly doubt they would stil function in socioty as well as they do

Right on.

Anyway, I would ask him where this BS is coming from. Talk it out with him. I actually un-homophobic'd a friend of mine this way and loaning her some David Sedaris. If that doesn't work tell him he's a douche bag and call it a day. Every time he acts like a homophobic asshole tell him to go to Hell and/or correct him. I don't know if I could be friends with someone who is homophobic (prejudice of any kind really bothers me, because honestly how far away are they from Nazis if they hate an entire group of people for no reason?) then call him on the hompophobia thing whenever it happens but just hang out otherwise. But that's just me.

 

[Creos]

So... he hates gay people. Big whoop. It's not like he's alone in this, nor does it make him a bad person. I happen to hate skaters. My sister hates spiders. My mother hates her father.

People most always hate something. It's how they act upon that hate which determines if they're bad or good.

If he wants to be vocal about his hate, so be it. Everyone is entitled to make an ass of themselves if they want.

He's still your friend, and odds are he hated gay people before he told you he hated them then, right? One of my best friends growing up turned out to be gay. I found it a bit hard to get my head around the idea, but I've yet to see this admission make him a different, less enjoyable person.

The point here is, as long as he's not going out of his way to make the lives of others miserable, there's no point in doing anything about it. He'll either stumble into a gay guy who changes his views, or he won't, and if he is very vocal in his hate, and you find it disturbing, just ask him to not speak like that in front of you.

 

[captainwillies]

words

drug him then tie him up in your basement and continually have sexual intercourse with him until he accepts gay people or dies of rectul bleeding......


but for serious as long as he doesn't openly mock and attack the gays, he can have any opinion he wants.