My mom wants to take away my internet for what?!
- Thread starter strangemoose
- Start date
I... This is completely absurd.
Facebook. Facebook.
I cannot even form any sort of coherant opinon.
Facebook. Facebook.
I cannot even form any sort of coherant opinon.
i might also want to add that my mom is a facebook "god" she has close to 600 friends plays bejeweled blitz like there is no tomorrow and posts about every thing she does so you may see why i dont want to add her
a friend of mine added his mom on facebook, don't do it! it's so weird and uncomfortable for your other friends... even worse if your mom decides to start adding your friends to her list, it's not right! stupid reason to lose your internet. maybe if you made a new account under a fake name and added all of your friends to that it may solve the problem, that way you could add her and still have a profile without her (i personally just didn't tell my parents i was on faebook, alot easier).
I made the mistake of adding my mom. Now i get a text every five minutes about something on my facebook.
I mean, its not going ot stop her, since she can just search you, so you might as well. It just gives another source for her ot nag at you. but taking away your interent over that is dumb. especially since you wouldnt be able to add her if she did.
I mean, its not going ot stop her, since she can just search you, so you might as well. It just gives another source for her ot nag at you. but taking away your interent over that is dumb. especially since you wouldnt be able to add her if she did.
This, just limit it so she only sees your updates from games and the like, otherwise prevent her from seing your wall. You will have to let her be able to write on your wall or she may get nosey as to what else she can't do/see. So hide your posts and your friends posts, pictures too if you think they could be an issue.Xcelsior said:
Also yes she is having issues, "friend my or you are dead!"
my advice: facebook rehab. no, seriously, they have groups for people who have addictions of the online, and have completely lost track of reality. honestly, sounds like either one REALLY dumb mom that can't tell real from fake, or she's slipping, and needs some good 'ol realticy checking.
Your mom sounds less like a parent and more like a manipulative girlfriend. Is she always this crazy? Is she one of those "I want my kids to be my friends" kind of moms (y'know, the ones who screw up their kids---not that I'm judging since I don't know you that well)? And where's your dad in all of this?
Don't know if it's the same now as I've gotten rid of my account, but when I did it I went to privacy setting and then how others see my account > switch to custom, selected the names of those that I wanted to limit and then checked the boxes that indicated the parts I didn't want them to see. Like I said this was back when I was still on facebook and that was back in February and I've been off since so they may have changed it but hopefully this gives you a push in the right direction.Ahlycks said:
I loved that episode, the look on Randy's face when he says "so we're not friends?" was priceless.Mcupobob said:
I don't feel like I can answer this accurately because I don't know your family dynamic. If she doesn't trust you very much, or her trust decreases because of this then you should let her in. You are living under her roof, after all. And if you can't say it in front of your mom, then you probably shouldn't be saying it on Facebook.
Being friends with her would build a lot of trust, and conversely I feel like not being friends would destroy a lot of it. My parents are on my Facebook, and if I want to say something I don't want them to see, I get in contact with whoever I wanted to say it to another way. That's what you do anyway, right? So get Skype or something.
Again, I don't know you or your mother, or your family dynamic at all, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt.
Being friends with her would build a lot of trust, and conversely I feel like not being friends would destroy a lot of it. My parents are on my Facebook, and if I want to say something I don't want them to see, I get in contact with whoever I wanted to say it to another way. That's what you do anyway, right? So get Skype or something.
Again, I don't know you or your mother, or your family dynamic at all, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt.
It obviously means a lot to her. I don't see the harm in adding her, especially considering you can put her on a limited profile if you're worried she won't approve of some of your content.
well since shes the one paying for it then she can do what she wants
seriously why the fuck are their so many of these threads KIDS LISTEN UP I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE IT BUT YOUR PARENTS ARE PAYING FOR YOU, IF THEY WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING AWAY THEN GET OVER IT, JUST DO WHAT THEY FUCKING WANT THEN NOT TALK TO THEM AFTER YOU MOVE OUT
why is this hard to understand? granted if you are paying for it then yes your within your rights to stand your ground, but i doubt you are, overall trust me though you dont want to begin a war with your parents because 9/10 times you lose
seriously why the fuck are their so many of these threads KIDS LISTEN UP I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE IT BUT YOUR PARENTS ARE PAYING FOR YOU, IF THEY WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING AWAY THEN GET OVER IT, JUST DO WHAT THEY FUCKING WANT THEN NOT TALK TO THEM AFTER YOU MOVE OUT
why is this hard to understand? granted if you are paying for it then yes your within your rights to stand your ground, but i doubt you are, overall trust me though you dont want to begin a war with your parents because 9/10 times you lose
Heh... No, but really, that's the age I first found after-school employment. I didn't move out, but I did pay many of my own non-essential bills at that point.
...'course, back then a 14.4Kbps modem was fast, and the closest thing we had to social networking sites were dialup BBSes... my ways of escaping parental control was a car and my brother's apartment...
...'course, back then a 14.4Kbps modem was fast, and the closest thing we had to social networking sites were dialup BBSes... my ways of escaping parental control was a car and my brother's apartment...
Okay, no disrespect strangemoose, but whenever I look at one of these sort of questions I keep in mind that I'm only looking at half the story. I think there may well possibly be a miscommunication here. As a parent with a young daughter I have think I might know where your mom is coming from. The stuff about loving you is coming from her concerns about what she's probably been hearing from her friends about the stuff kids get up to on facebook and similar sites, drinking parties, etc. She feels that if you loved her you'd respect her concerns and let her in.
This is a bit of conjecture, but she sounds like she's not very tech-savvy because she doesn't know that getting friended can mean less than nothing, because you can block her access to almost everything.
My suggestion is to sit down with her and have a civilised discussion as you show her around your facebook account. Set the ground rules first:
1. She'll listen to you without interrupting while you explain.
2. She won't get offended or angry if she doesn't understand something, you're not trying to confuse her, it's just that this stuff is easy for you and you've grown up with it.
3. She can ask clarifying questions if she doesn't understand.
4. She won't make assumptions. If she sees something that concerns her then she'll ask about it rather than assuming the worst or going off half-cocked.
5. She will trust you and what you say, and will not take the word of some hysterical network TV host out to boost ratings over yours.
Then take her through your facebook page slowly (very slowly if she's not tech savvy, it felt like a million years when I did this with my parents when I was a teenager.. although it wasn't facebook then, it was trying to explain how a bulletin board worked). Give a brief overview, then take her through some of your apps etc. Now you might want to "clean up" a little before this, hide the results of your "sexual conquests" app, etc., the same way you'd hide that porno mag under your bed if you knew your mother was coming in. For me this doesn't fit into the category of dishonesty, but rather just simple courtesy in preventing your mother from seeing something that might upset her. Leave some minor offenses on the page, some swearing or something like that, something that she can frown over and mutter about, and feel you haven't cleaned up, because otherwise she'll be suspicious. Mom's aren't happy without something to complain about
.
Let her ask questions. Let her have the mouse for a little while, but explain that a careless click might accidently remove some of your friends, mess up your settings, etc, so please be careful. This will give her the feeling that you're giving her "unrestricted" access.
Now that you've shown her you've nothing to hide explain that having your mom as your facebook friend isn't "cool", and your friends will tease you about it at school, plus they'll always be editing their comments because they know you'll read them. It'll be like having her in the room all the time, and that's a massive invasion of your personal space, so while you love her dearly you really do need her to give you your space and privacy.
It may be that one of her friends' children has allowed their mom onto their facebook page and you can explain that that's their personal choice, and in all likelihood they've severely restricted what their parents can "see" by using groups (explain that this isn't possible from the main account, which is why you logged her on and showed you around your page... this is a bit of a fib, but it'll make her feel better and superior to her friend so it works in your favour). If she pushes the issue just remind her that you're not a brilliant pianist like the kid down the road, or fluent in 5 languages like some other mother's child, etc. You're yourself. You've shown her your love and respect by letting her into your private space and showing her around, but now you're drawing the line. This is something you need to do for yourself, and it's part of growing into a young adult, setting personal boundaries and discovering who you are yourself, and for that you need a bit of privacy.
This is a bit of conjecture, but she sounds like she's not very tech-savvy because she doesn't know that getting friended can mean less than nothing, because you can block her access to almost everything.
My suggestion is to sit down with her and have a civilised discussion as you show her around your facebook account. Set the ground rules first:
1. She'll listen to you without interrupting while you explain.
2. She won't get offended or angry if she doesn't understand something, you're not trying to confuse her, it's just that this stuff is easy for you and you've grown up with it.
3. She can ask clarifying questions if she doesn't understand.
4. She won't make assumptions. If she sees something that concerns her then she'll ask about it rather than assuming the worst or going off half-cocked.
5. She will trust you and what you say, and will not take the word of some hysterical network TV host out to boost ratings over yours.
Then take her through your facebook page slowly (very slowly if she's not tech savvy, it felt like a million years when I did this with my parents when I was a teenager.. although it wasn't facebook then, it was trying to explain how a bulletin board worked). Give a brief overview, then take her through some of your apps etc. Now you might want to "clean up" a little before this, hide the results of your "sexual conquests" app, etc., the same way you'd hide that porno mag under your bed if you knew your mother was coming in. For me this doesn't fit into the category of dishonesty, but rather just simple courtesy in preventing your mother from seeing something that might upset her. Leave some minor offenses on the page, some swearing or something like that, something that she can frown over and mutter about, and feel you haven't cleaned up, because otherwise she'll be suspicious. Mom's aren't happy without something to complain about
.Let her ask questions. Let her have the mouse for a little while, but explain that a careless click might accidently remove some of your friends, mess up your settings, etc, so please be careful. This will give her the feeling that you're giving her "unrestricted" access.
Now that you've shown her you've nothing to hide explain that having your mom as your facebook friend isn't "cool", and your friends will tease you about it at school, plus they'll always be editing their comments because they know you'll read them. It'll be like having her in the room all the time, and that's a massive invasion of your personal space, so while you love her dearly you really do need her to give you your space and privacy.
It may be that one of her friends' children has allowed their mom onto their facebook page and you can explain that that's their personal choice, and in all likelihood they've severely restricted what their parents can "see" by using groups (explain that this isn't possible from the main account, which is why you logged her on and showed you around your page... this is a bit of a fib, but it'll make her feel better and superior to her friend so it works in your favour). If she pushes the issue just remind her that you're not a brilliant pianist like the kid down the road, or fluent in 5 languages like some other mother's child, etc. You're yourself. You've shown her your love and respect by letting her into your private space and showing her around, but now you're drawing the line. This is something you need to do for yourself, and it's part of growing into a young adult, setting personal boundaries and discovering who you are yourself, and for that you need a bit of privacy.
I dont know how your family works and I dont have any kids myself, or at least none that I know of, so I cant be sure that what Im about to say will be helpful or not.
I have many friends that are in this kind of situation. What I mean is kids growing into their teenage years or into their early 20s and social networking becomes a big part of their life. Many of the parents/guardians see facebook as something that can be dangerous to the kid/teenager/young adult so they take steps to watch those facebook accounts. Its not out of a sense to invade privacy or make the person uncomfortable but out of a sense of duty to protect them. I think thats also whats going on here
From my point of view I think you should add her as a friend and let her see enough so that she feels she can protect you. If there are things you can say on your facebook that you cant say to her then I think there are likely problems in your family relationship that need to be resolved
I have many friends that are in this kind of situation. What I mean is kids growing into their teenage years or into their early 20s and social networking becomes a big part of their life. Many of the parents/guardians see facebook as something that can be dangerous to the kid/teenager/young adult so they take steps to watch those facebook accounts. Its not out of a sense to invade privacy or make the person uncomfortable but out of a sense of duty to protect them. I think thats also whats going on here
From my point of view I think you should add her as a friend and let her see enough so that she feels she can protect you. If there are things you can say on your facebook that you cant say to her then I think there are likely problems in your family relationship that need to be resolved
