I remember a youthful excursion I undertook in the summer of 1932 to Oxford. I was staying with the infamous Dalrymple family in their summer residence when young Primrose piqued my curiosity.
The firm young cheeks of the Dalrymple debutante struck me as quite angelic, but I did not have the words to express my admiration for this particular English rose with almost half of her teeth still intact. Alas she slipped from my grasp like a well lubricated stapler, and since that day I have scoured the globe for the right words to express my most veracious of desires.
Of course, over the years my original appetites have dissipated somewhat but my lust for the words to express the tender most thoughts of my soul goes on. Imagine my surprise then dear readers when I discovered a most wonderful copy of The Concise Oxford Dictionary Fifth Edition in a dusty market in East Java.
Oh most magnificent of fates! Perhaps my search for the phrases in all the right places would be at an end! I'm most delighted to report, that the Oxford not only exceeded the 10 rupee price tag at that dusty exotic mall but also exceeded my most lofty of expectations.
The first thing you'll want to do with this dictionary, naturally, is to smell it. Even though I obtained my copy from a leper with most foul body odour, through the musk of diseased phlegm and curry powder I could almost immediately catch a whiff of a certain indefinable intellectual curiosity.
If I were to attempt an apt description at this time, I would say that it smelled of a fresh rosebud, just ready to be plucked and ripe for the opening. It is an intoxicating smell that brings me back to my days in Oxford and by brief flirtatious romps with Primrose, but you must promise me dear readers that you do not give into base instincts and open it immediately!
You see, a book like the Oxford needs to be caressed first. Its hard back needs to melt into your hands before you permit yourself any sort of intellectual congress. It is a good thing then, that the aesthetics of the book match the forbidden fruits below.
Paved in a Royal Blue and Regal Red, it is almost certainly assured of its standing in the literary society but yet it beckons oh so softly toward it. It is not afraid to play...hard to get to use a crass term. Its size is perfect as well, as you'll find it to be of a most agreeable shape.
You see, there has been a tendency in the past to oversize the dictionary. The logic being that there's more dictionary to love, but dear readers I think we can almost strike out that idiom as irrelevant to today's tastes.
Whereas, I concede, in the impressionist and renaissance dictionary era there was a tendency toward the plus-size model so that the skill of the crafter could come out in the fleshy tones of an oversized dictionary but these days the dictionary's gathering the glances in the courts of Europe are the pretty little things.
The Oxford has caught onto this trend perfectly without sacrificing the intellectual depth that is truly intoxicating. This edition dear readers, is more than some cheap three dollar floozy dressed up as a dictionary.
As your fingers caress the spine of the book, you can almost feel it recoil in delight at your touch. The time is upon you to open the first page and when one does begin slowly into intellectual congress, it is a most thrilling sensation indeed.
The pages are like silk, and reflect the pale candlelight of any study with an almost sinful glow. It's like it's calling for me to do unspeakable things.
It's just so...sexy.
This fifth edition of the series calls back the services of E. McIntosh as chief revisionist after he was banned from the Oxford staff for amoral deviancies with the Etymology section, and this edition has all the hallmarks of a man who knows his words.
From the lowliest aardvark to the mightiest zygotic, this is a man who knows that words are not merely tools of the common folk but a truly benevolent force that wants me to know that everything is going to be okay.
As I sipped a rather trite cognac and proceedings were progressing, I felt the magic welling up inside me. I felt it getting more and more intense as I turned page, after page after page. My lust for words was insatiable dear readers, and that's the hallmark of a McIntosh revision.
As this energy welled up inside me, I began to realise that what began as a journey to find hedonistic pleasures with the Dalrymple debutante had become something more. That smelly market in East Java served as the starting point on a spiritual journey that would inevitably (as these things do) with the release of my intellectual curiosities onto the spine of the book.
What transpired dear readers was really quite a matter of inevitability. Since I picked up the The Concise Oxford Dictionary Fifth Edition, the courtship of the book felt almost like a dance with the hand one stroke from midnight.
Suffice to say dear readers, we does not need any lewd descriptions nor any spoilers to the magnificent erotic journey that is The Concise Oxford Dictionary Fifth Edition. Just know, that if appreciate pages that feel like silk in your fingers, a spine that trembles at your touch and an intoxicating musk than this is the dictionary for you.
Recommendation: Buy it
P.S- I'm so lonely.
The firm young cheeks of the Dalrymple debutante struck me as quite angelic, but I did not have the words to express my admiration for this particular English rose with almost half of her teeth still intact. Alas she slipped from my grasp like a well lubricated stapler, and since that day I have scoured the globe for the right words to express my most veracious of desires.
Of course, over the years my original appetites have dissipated somewhat but my lust for the words to express the tender most thoughts of my soul goes on. Imagine my surprise then dear readers when I discovered a most wonderful copy of The Concise Oxford Dictionary Fifth Edition in a dusty market in East Java.
Oh most magnificent of fates! Perhaps my search for the phrases in all the right places would be at an end! I'm most delighted to report, that the Oxford not only exceeded the 10 rupee price tag at that dusty exotic mall but also exceeded my most lofty of expectations.
The first thing you'll want to do with this dictionary, naturally, is to smell it. Even though I obtained my copy from a leper with most foul body odour, through the musk of diseased phlegm and curry powder I could almost immediately catch a whiff of a certain indefinable intellectual curiosity.
If I were to attempt an apt description at this time, I would say that it smelled of a fresh rosebud, just ready to be plucked and ripe for the opening. It is an intoxicating smell that brings me back to my days in Oxford and by brief flirtatious romps with Primrose, but you must promise me dear readers that you do not give into base instincts and open it immediately!
You see, a book like the Oxford needs to be caressed first. Its hard back needs to melt into your hands before you permit yourself any sort of intellectual congress. It is a good thing then, that the aesthetics of the book match the forbidden fruits below.
Paved in a Royal Blue and Regal Red, it is almost certainly assured of its standing in the literary society but yet it beckons oh so softly toward it. It is not afraid to play...hard to get to use a crass term. Its size is perfect as well, as you'll find it to be of a most agreeable shape.
You see, there has been a tendency in the past to oversize the dictionary. The logic being that there's more dictionary to love, but dear readers I think we can almost strike out that idiom as irrelevant to today's tastes.
Whereas, I concede, in the impressionist and renaissance dictionary era there was a tendency toward the plus-size model so that the skill of the crafter could come out in the fleshy tones of an oversized dictionary but these days the dictionary's gathering the glances in the courts of Europe are the pretty little things.
The Oxford has caught onto this trend perfectly without sacrificing the intellectual depth that is truly intoxicating. This edition dear readers, is more than some cheap three dollar floozy dressed up as a dictionary.
As your fingers caress the spine of the book, you can almost feel it recoil in delight at your touch. The time is upon you to open the first page and when one does begin slowly into intellectual congress, it is a most thrilling sensation indeed.
The pages are like silk, and reflect the pale candlelight of any study with an almost sinful glow. It's like it's calling for me to do unspeakable things.
It's just so...sexy.
This fifth edition of the series calls back the services of E. McIntosh as chief revisionist after he was banned from the Oxford staff for amoral deviancies with the Etymology section, and this edition has all the hallmarks of a man who knows his words.
From the lowliest aardvark to the mightiest zygotic, this is a man who knows that words are not merely tools of the common folk but a truly benevolent force that wants me to know that everything is going to be okay.
As I sipped a rather trite cognac and proceedings were progressing, I felt the magic welling up inside me. I felt it getting more and more intense as I turned page, after page after page. My lust for words was insatiable dear readers, and that's the hallmark of a McIntosh revision.
As this energy welled up inside me, I began to realise that what began as a journey to find hedonistic pleasures with the Dalrymple debutante had become something more. That smelly market in East Java served as the starting point on a spiritual journey that would inevitably (as these things do) with the release of my intellectual curiosities onto the spine of the book.
What transpired dear readers was really quite a matter of inevitability. Since I picked up the The Concise Oxford Dictionary Fifth Edition, the courtship of the book felt almost like a dance with the hand one stroke from midnight.
Suffice to say dear readers, we does not need any lewd descriptions nor any spoilers to the magnificent erotic journey that is The Concise Oxford Dictionary Fifth Edition. Just know, that if appreciate pages that feel like silk in your fingers, a spine that trembles at your touch and an intoxicating musk than this is the dictionary for you.
Recommendation: Buy it
P.S- I'm so lonely.
