Need help branching out

[parasyteFMA]

Hello Escapists.

Ever since I moved to where I currently at, I've had the same group of friends (Some went away, some joined.), but essentially I have had the same friends for almost 6 years. I can talk to these guys about anything and they are probably the closest friends I have ever had.

However, we are pretty much the nerd group. Right above the weeaboos, but below everyone else. We all have similar interests in games, movies (mostly classic horror), and music. I have several friends outside the group but they are just acquaintances. I try talk to them about things that I can relate to but I kinda fall flat because not everyone can talk about Bela Lugosi for an hour without getting bored, and not everyone cares about who knows about the stuff I like.

My question really is, how do I break away from my friends so I can make more, but also keep those friends without abandoning them.

 

[Sleekgiant]

If you have a couple of great friends, why do you want to risk losing them to make shitty friends?

 

[Terminal Blue]

It's interesting.. I have very few friends I can talk to about most of my interests. For me that's not a mark of being a friend. For example, I met a girl at a party at the weekend and we had this huge discussion about gender theory (which is the subject of my Masters, so I loved it). It was fun and all, but it made me realize how unessential that is with the rest of my friends.

You need to have enough respect for people not to talk about things they aren't interested in. Find things they are interested in and see if you like them, and maybe they'll do the same. Sometimes you'll find you have nothing in common. Sometimes you'll be unexpectedly surprised or find you have enough compatibility to get by. If you don't give people the chance or dismiss them because they can't handle a three hour discussion on your favourite topic du jour, you'll never find out.

Friendships take time. You really can't expect to meet someone and be 'best buds' within a few weeks. As long as you don't allow your existing friends to monopolize your time, or unnecessarily prioritize them you should find you naturally meet other people anyway. Think of it this way, you're already good friends with your existing friends.. you don't need to be at their beck and call 24/7, that should leave you time to invest in other people.

 

[zombiesinc]

My question really is, how do I break away from my friends so I can make more, but also keep those friends without abandoning them.

Honestly, I'm not sure you really need to. There's nothing wrong with branching out, and having a few more acquaintances here or there, but unless you find a certain amount of things in common with these people, they won't grow to be anything more. If you've tried to reach out to some acquaintances and nothing has really stemmed from that, then there's little to no point in trying to push it further. If you happen to find some people outside your group that you really click with, then kudos. If not, don't fret. Aside from the social labels (that you should pay no attention to anyway), this doesn't mean anything.

If you're really determined to find a few new friends, just socialize any opportunity you can. Bring something up that pertains to whatever event or class you're at/in etc. and go from there. Either the conversation won't go anywhere (this isn't anyone's fault, it just happens), or it will branch into different things as you discover new things you may or may not have in common. As I already said, don't force it. A forced conversation is far worse than no conversation at all.

With that said, I don't personally think friends are something that should be looked for. In my experience, they just happen. You meet someone and before you know it you're getting along really well, and the rest is history. Still, best of luck, but don't worry about this too much.