Need help with a friend.

[Soviet Heavy]

I need some advice. My friend is going through a really tough time right now. He's in a state of depression, since his dog had to be put down. He was with her to the very end, and he treated her as best he could the day before she died.

My friend cooked his dog a whole steak for her last meal, while he ate his raw. When they took her to the vets, she was excited to go in the car. It was just heartbreaking the way he explained it to us.

"I will never forget the taste of blood" he said. I don't know how to respond to that, I just don't know.

So like I said, he is in a major rut. He had to get happy pills from the nurse, and I haven't heard from him in a few days. I want to do something to make him feel better, but I don't want to impose on his mourning.

I really need some advice. I want to do something for my friend, but I just don't know how to go about it.

 

[Dango]

I know this kinda thing, a while ago, my friend's brother commit suicide, and we cheered him up one of the only ways we knew how: countless hours of brand new video games.

 

[LongAndShort]

Take him out, get him drunk and/or laid, be a friend and take him out to somewhere fun to help take his mind off things. Being left to his own thoughts can be an unpleasant state to be in.

 

[Polaris19]

You need to show your friend all the love and support you can. It may sound wierd but just knowing someone is there for you and knowing that no matter what they can rely on you is an amazing start.

Try and do as much as you can to get him out and about.Help him get hi mind off it. As time passes the hurt will fade a bit each day. It will never pass completley away. Never. But you can ease the pain.

 

[Valksy]

I understand his pain. Last year I had to make the decision for my cat and it was one of the most agonising things that I have ever had to do.

He needs to understand that when we take up guardianship of an animal we essentially make a promise to them to do our very best. Sometimes that means that you consult with a veterinarian and if they tell you that your pet is in a state of suffering then you have to do the kindest thing for them.

My cat was already dying. She was old and going in to system failure. My vet gave me the choice but I understood that "taking her home and bring her back tomorrow" was really "take her home to die". But in doing so it would have been for my benefit, not hers. She would have asphyxiated to death.

So you just do the right thing, the honourable and decent and humane thing and although it hurts, you need to learn to accept that in your heart.

Sounds to me like he might benefit from sitting down and talking to some "dog" people who will steer him right on the choice that was made. And maybe someone who understand the stage of grief - and indeed understand that it is OK to grieve for your animal.

 

[Swarley]

Best you can do is roll a joint for him.

I kid, just be there for him if he needs you, that's really all you can do.

 

[instantbenz]

While his family should be there for him it's admirable of you to take charge. I suggest if he's a gamer, get a lan party (however outdated) or some other group activity setup with other friends of his ... sounds like he needs to be around people when he's ready and if you're there for him, he will recognize that and be appreciative. Coping sucks, but it's better to go through the process with the death of a pet than a family member. Good luck

 

[Glamorgan]

I know this kinda thing, a while ago, my friend's brother commit suicide, and we cheered him up one of the only ways we knew how: countless hours of brand new video games.

And Icecream. Don't forget the ice cream.
Then show him this. It always cheers me up.
<youtube=S3xAeTmsJfg>

 

[Mcupobob]

This thread makes me feel kinda of heartless. My dog I've had since the second grade died a couple of months ago, but I moved on pretty quick. Loved her to death though sweetest dog ever. Just let him take his time, and when his ready to reach out he will.

 

[Agent_Nahmen_Jayden]

My cat who I had for my whole life died a few years ago, it hurts like hell for a while, but he'll forget...

As to how you go about making him feel better, just go over to his house and ask him how he's been, ask him if he wants to go out and shoot some hoops (doesn't have to be hoops but y'know exercise/sports) or see a movie (or related activities). If he doesn't feel like he wants to go anywhere just play video games, watch tv, or go on the computer with him. Hanging out with him will allow him to vent if necessary or allow him to forget by having his friend around to help entertain him.

 

[latenightapplepie]

I'm no expert, but my guess would be that he needs time.

Not time alone though. You should try and spend as much as you can with him even if he doesn't want to, and to encourage his other family/friends to do the same.

 

[Stickwell]

I really don't know... I've never had a dog and can't relate...
I think the general answer is to take him out to do something fun, I agree with that.

 

[Rylot]

Get drunk and have him tell stories about the dog. I've found the best way to deal with death is to remember the good times. Helps bring a sense of closer no matter who you're morning.