I'm a fairly solitary person, but I do like to see my friends as much as I can, because when I'm feeling depressed they can take my mind off of it for a few hours. Oh, and one of them has a big TV that I like to hook my xbox up to.
Needing Human Contact...
- Thread starter arsenicCatnip
- Start date
Recommended Videos
For the most part, folks on the escapist have at least one reoccurring and/or redeeming feature. Really, we're all gamers to some extent or another and, as such, we tend to be slightly smarter then the average person. Arrogance aside, that tends to create some solid ground for friendships to form.lilmisspotatoes said:
Trust me, after about a year or two, you just forget what it's like. Really, once you learn what it's like to have that kind of companionship, going without it is just that much harder.Julianking93 said:
<-- happily single for 5+ years and proud of it.
I don't see why you can't meet IRL. I have a friend who had a situation like yours. He lived in Alaska where i live, and the girl he met on WoW and started to like a lot lived in Australia. Eventually after getting to know each other for about a year he saved up some money and flew down to see her. Now they are married, he moved to Australia, and they are expecting their first kid. Now I'm not saying one of you needs to pick up your entire life and move where the other one lives, but take your time and save up some money. If things work out you can plan a trip to see each other to find out if there is anything there. After all, nothing ventured means nothing gained, and no risk means no reward.Sleekgiant said:
On the topic of this thread though, i did have a particular human i enjoyed the contact with a while ago. We met on the internet and had a good time talking. We lived on opposite sides on the planet so i never held out much hope of bring more then friends, although i would have LOVED it if things had gone differently for us. About a year ago something happened to her and she stopped talking to me. She wouldn't tell me what happened and never heard from her again. I have been very lonely ever sense that and i just really wish i know what was going on with her now. Not knowing anything about someone you genuinely care about is the worst feeling ever. *Sigh...* Personally i think that is why i have had no luck with girls now. i always find myself comparing them to her and no one ever lives up to how great she is. I can't ever stop myself either. I think i'm just going to give up on finding a relationship.
Sure, at times I get all weepy about the lack of human contact, then, like a couple of the other posters, I get a little of that contact. Soon I am all "What was I thinking?" and it's back to the hermitage.
Now, in all honesty, I'm not sure what we are talking about when we say "human contact". I assume you and your long-distance love have a way of hearing each other's voice. Quite likely you have a web-cam since they are cheap and commonplace. Hence you can look soulfully into each other's eyes.
The main thing missing then is touching. Yet when you hang out with friends there is likely rather little touching. And yet going down to the train station at rush hour would provide more touching (along with bumping, jostling, and perhaps a bit of grinding). Still, that would be less satisfactory. Perhaps it is a caring touch you are looking for, or maybe not a touch at all.
Probably what you are after is something that happens in your mind. Your problem may be that you are not easily tricked into having this mind thing happen. I am easily tricked. A good game tricks me into feeling a sense of companionship, even from NPCs. A little coaxing from a distant person and I imagine they are right beside me.
What does human contact mean to you?
Now, in all honesty, I'm not sure what we are talking about when we say "human contact". I assume you and your long-distance love have a way of hearing each other's voice. Quite likely you have a web-cam since they are cheap and commonplace. Hence you can look soulfully into each other's eyes.
The main thing missing then is touching. Yet when you hang out with friends there is likely rather little touching. And yet going down to the train station at rush hour would provide more touching (along with bumping, jostling, and perhaps a bit of grinding). Still, that would be less satisfactory. Perhaps it is a caring touch you are looking for, or maybe not a touch at all.
Probably what you are after is something that happens in your mind. Your problem may be that you are not easily tricked into having this mind thing happen. I am easily tricked. A good game tricks me into feeling a sense of companionship, even from NPCs. A little coaxing from a distant person and I imagine they are right beside me.
What does human contact mean to you?
You've a point. About 89% of the people I've come across on this forum seem like cool folks, and it's always nice to meet people who have a brain on the net.Naheal said:
That's one thing that really keeps me from making a lot of friends out here... I live in a small town where gaming is another double-standard thing. Girls who game are weird, guys who game are winners. *shrug*
It's strange. When people are around me I want them to just leave me the hell alone and give me some peace & quiet. Once I'm left to my own devices and go without any significant human contact for a few days I feel all lonely and depressed despite the fact that once I start interacting with people I'll despise them. Sorta sounds like an abused spouse that keeps coming back for more despite knowing that the results with never deviate.
It's that kind of double standard that I find irritating. You're a female gamer, thus one of a (relatively) small group. Often times, guys will look for someone that they can share their favorite pastimes with, but, as a gamer, we have a hard time finding any girls who do game, much less actually acknowledge that to anyone around them.lilmisspotatoes said:
Good question, actually.pneuvo said:
Human contact is a combination of the physical and mental. I crave the companionship of having someone close to me and knowing that I can touch them, as well as the comfort of talking to them. I get a little dose of the mental part of it, but I find myself leaning against my roommate when we do get the time to spend together, as well as deliberately touching people a lot more than I normally do (i.e. playfully punching a coworker in the arm or 'beeping' them on the shoulder as I walk past). I don't know what the proper term for that is, but I want to feel a solid person with me.
(I think my boyfriend's feelings on this are pretty similar to mine... he was saying that he doesn't really have anyone around that he can have that kind of physical and mental connection with, in not quite so many words.)
Everyone needs a bit of human contact once in a while. Not with random strangers, of course, but with someone you can actually talk to. With friends. And having none or little of them kinda sucks. Despite being a classic "lonely geek" archetype, right now even i can see that pretty well.
There's more to it then that. Without getting philosophical or anything, folks can generally tell when people are near them. When it's a significant other, as is in this case, you're looking at a desire to just be near them as well as said physical interaction, both of which are lost in a long distance relationship.pneuvo said:
I'd say it differs by the person. If you're more extroverted, you tend to crave human contact. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to find human interaction draining.
Huh. Most of the game-playing guys I've known have thought girls who played games were pretty awesome. Maybe that's more of a role-playing/board/card game thing.lilmisspotatoes said:
...It was certainly easier to socialize in college. I'm fortunate to have come into a routine where I just see certain people socially every week, certain other people every month or so, and others kind of come and go. I don't generally feel lonely or isolated, except in as much as not always feeling free to get away from one person or group of people, especially when there's a problem with that person or group and I wish to be able to confer about him/her/them with another group.
I guess there is something to be said for living in a city rather than a small town; I generally feel as though if I was by myself and really in need of human connections, there are resources available to me, whether it's a bulletin board at a local game shop or a live band that's encouraging people to swing dance on alternate Fridays. For a small town, I guess it there might still be options if there were academic or religious instituions and one wasn't aversely inclined towards either, but otherwise I could see how it could be hard.
Well, i just have no desire for human contact - Its not that i dislike it, i just dont require it. And i dislike having to be someone im not to amuse someone else.
I talk to people on The Escapist, Steam, and Xbox LIVE but mostly my parents. That takes up, in respective order, 20%,30%,5%, 10% of my time; The rest i spend gaming and watching movies.
For what its worth, i love my life.
I talk to people on The Escapist, Steam, and Xbox LIVE but mostly my parents. That takes up, in respective order, 20%,30%,5%, 10% of my time; The rest i spend gaming and watching movies.
For what its worth, i love my life.
Eh? If there is no contact, there is no relationship. And that's coming from a guy who had his first time with a girl in Iowa he met on an internet forum at 16... 12 years ago. Pretty silly, but there was no relationship there. I actually think it has a lot to do with the fact that I've never been with anyone longer than a year or so. Meaning long term exposure to the internet has damaged me somehow.
And it drives me crazy as well, because it's hard to find a group of people to game with. And good luck finding any female friends who don't tell me "oh yeah, well, I play PS2/PS3/Xbox 360 once in awhile, but it's boring."Naheal said:
I got lucky finding a guy who likes gaming, and likes the fact that I do too.
(Scary part? There is a game shop in town, not too far from where I live. And every time my roommate and I walk in, we're the only girls in the place... and thus treated practically like goddesses.)
It seems to depend. I play both console games and tabletop, and as I've said before, I'm one of a fairly tiny group. I've met a lot of guys who like it that I game, but I've also met quite a few who don't seem to approve of it as much.Callate said:
I can't actually say much for it, because most of the people I work with or know socially are very "You play video games? ...okay, cool, whatever works for you. *backs off*"
Ah! You're talking tabletop as well as console/pc! You, my dear, are a rare breed! Of course, I say that as one of my major players in my group is female. I'm hoping that this sort of "cultural segregation" is just some phase that will pass sooner or later, but that depends on the devs themselves.lilmisspotatoes said:
