Neighbours

[Melaisis]

Everyone needs gooooood neiiiiiiiighbours!

Right?

Picture the scene: Its 10 o'clock on a Saturday morning, the sun is beaming down and its the start of a wonderful day. I literally skip out of the house and over to the car. keys go in ignition, handbrake's off, but wait! What's this! The fat bloke from over the bloke is hobbling over to me! And just as I'm about to accelerate, he begins to rant. About a bloody army open day that I just 'get along to'. Thanks, good sir, but I'm about to dedicate my Saturday to a theatre project and I certainly don't have the time to hear about how you think I should 'get off the streets'.

You can pick your friends, you can disown your family but you can't choose your neighbours. Anyone had any funny/annoying/idiotic tales of their own from their neighbourhood?

 

[the monopoly guy]

my neighbour lets her little pug shit on my lawn. all of my neighbours but one are old. they all let they're dogs drop a load or two on my lawn. I don't like them.

 

[MRMIdAS2k]

The bloke to the left of us hates us because my brother and his friends play fooltball (soocer for all you in America) in the street.

"there's a park down the street" he says, yeah, thats full of dogshit and drug dealers. (no fucking joke, you can hang out on the back yard, and if the wind's blowing the right way, get high off the fumes).

He won't even let his OWN fucking kids play in that park, why does he expect my parents to do the same?

EDIT:

my neighbour lets her little pug shit on my lawn. all of my neighbours but one are old. they all let they're dogs drop a load or two on my lawn. I don't like them.

Water the lawn.

thoroughly.

Take a lump of cable, bridge the fuse with a paperclip, plug one end into the mains, the other (bare wire end) into the ground.

wait.

Free BBQ dog.

Sell to Koreans.

PROFIT.

 

[Alotak]

My nabours hate me because i threw a stick at their dog because it was chaseing my cat,
how was i suposed to know it would try to catch the stick, i say stick but it was about 4inches thick and 3 feet long. (there dog is a little terrier)

 

[the monopoly guy]

Free BBQ dog.

Sell to Koreans.

PROFIT.

someones not gonna like that. and I don't mean my neigbour or the dog.

 

[stompy]

See, living in an apartment block (~50 apartments) is the bomb. No annoying neighbours to deal with, no pesky gardens... ah, I love my place.

Anyways, the people in my apartment block (the ones I've met) are pretty nice people, so I've got no complaints what-so-ever. Hell, in the last couple of places I've lived, the neighbours have always had 2 boys, and I'd always get along with them... I'm just easy to befriend is all...

Edit:

Free BBQ dog.

Sell to Koreans.

PROFIT.

someones not gonna like that. and I don't mean my neigbour or the dog.

That someone would be wilson... a mod. I suggest taking it back, lest you face the ban-hammer in all it's glory.

 

[salamifart]

in NY my cat threw up on my driveway right before me and my dad went out to have a catch. It looked like applejacks floating in a heaping pile of tomato sauce. Oh and my neighbor that just moved away (THANK GOD), was so damn annoying. He'd always converse about the weirdest shit. -.- Now we have this new asian neighbor that's been drilling for the last like 8 hours, not right now cause it's 2 AM and are sleeping.

 

[Jenkins]

well.

i live in a coldisac (spelling!) in Southern California and here is how my neighbors go..

across the street there is:

a catholic family and all i hear is there mom yelling for there two kids to get into the damn car before school starts. her girls are 1 my age and a 7th grader. (im about to be a sophmore) and there parents always yell. they have there grandpa living with them who is just creepy.

another family is a dad, little fat red head girl, and step mom.

the dad and the original mom always had problems and one day the mom misteriously appeared dead in a random apartment due to overdose... coinisdentally withen a month the dad gets a BRAND NEW farrari, a fernishings to a boat, and gets married, and they are remodeling there house like atleast 1 time a month.....

my nextdoor neighbor is fucking hot, shes a junior

and the rest of my street is just... annoying, over protective parents, kids are retards


there

 

[Saskwach]

i live in a coldisac (spelling!)

Cul de sac. Or if you prefer the old English phrase- blind alley.

 

[the monopoly guy]

i live in a coldisac (spelling!)

Cul de sac. Or if you prefer the old English phrase- blind alley.

Or in Canadian - Keyhole Crescent... Don't need to think hard on why we call it that.

or in wisconsin- Cul de sac...theres a slight difference, you jsut have to look

khell, give the underwear to japan, they have vending machines that sell used underwear...its in there I'm not trying to rickroll or anarchimetis sims 4 you

most people's neighbours here live a mile or soo away but I live in town so I have to deal with them. and since its wisconsin most people have guns so thats just another reason I am not going to fry my neighbours dog. I like that dog, its a nice dog. I jsut don't like my neighbour. he has a pigeon coop and he lets out some messenger pigeons out sometime to do who-knows-what and they poo on my car

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

my nextdoor neighbor is fucking hot, shes a junior

There are some differences between UK English and US English that make moments like these slightly uncomfortable.

(Junior in UK English is 7-10 year old)

 

[wilsonscrazybed]

my nextdoor neighbor is fucking hot, shes a junior

There are some differences between UK English and US English that make moments like these slightly uncomfortable.

(Junior in UK English is 7-10 year old)

Yikes. To be honest I read it the first time and thought he said "Janitor."

 

[ChristianxKrupps]

my neighbors are rad.
except they watch us through their windows and sexually assault my dog.
and they also call the cops on us for playing our music to loud
and playing catch in their yard.

thats pretty neighborly

[color = white] jks [/color]

 

[fix-the-spade]

The guy next door to my parents is the secretary of the local Neighbourhood watch. He's also in charge of the town's graffiti watch.

I've never had the heart to tell him how much of Boston's graffiti is mine...

 

[BlazeTheVampire]

My old neighbor yelled at my dad for mowing six inches onto "his side of the lawn." He was the most anal retentive person I'd ever met. Apparently, my dad going slightly onto his lawn was a problem because my dad doesn't trim our lawn down far enough. This is the same guy that popped my beach ball when it accidentally went over our six-foot fence into his backyard. We have a pool, and apparently the chlorine from my ball ruined part of his lawn, so ruining my ball was fair play. I was six.

 

[MRMIdAS2k]

See, living in an apartment block (~50 apartments) is the bomb. No annoying neighbours to deal with, no pesky gardens... ah, I love my place.

Anyways, the people in my apartment block (the ones I've met) are pretty nice people, so I've got no complaints what-so-ever. Hell, in the last couple of places I've lived, the neighbours have always had 2 boys, and I'd always get along with them... I'm just easy to befriend is all...

Edit:

Free BBQ dog.

Sell to Koreans.

PROFIT.

someones not gonna like that. and I don't mean my neigbour or the dog.

That someone would be wilson... a mod. I suggest taking it back, lest you face the ban-hammer in all it's glory.

So i can get banned for telling the truth?

Sounds fair.

 

[BlazeTheVampire]

my nextdoor neighbor is fucking hot, shes a junior

There are some differences between UK English and US English that make moments like these slightly uncomfortable.

(Junior in UK English is 7-10 year old)

In the US, "Junior" has a variety of meanings, but mostly it refers to their year in school. I'm assuming high school in this case, marking his neighbor at about 16-17 years old. We also use it to refer to Junior year of college. Americans call their UK-defined Juniors baby goats (also known as "kids").

khell, give the underwear to japan, they have vending machines that sell used underwear...its in there I'm not trying to rickroll or anarchimetis sims 4 you

Those have been taken out because of health standards. There USED to be panty vending machines, but those were removed rather recently. In any case, they only sold women's underwear.

... Just wow. See what knowledge is at the hands of an Asian Studies major? I pay thousands of dollars to know these things.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Wilson: I've seen some rather hot female janitors in my time, and they have the keys to the offices...

Those have been taken out because of health standards. There USED to be panty vending machines, but those were removed rather recently. In any case, they only sold women's underwear.

Used women's undies...Really. Almost always pubescent girls as well for the stronger estrogen.

But Blaze is right, all gone, replaced by beercan vending machines. Pre-chilled. Imagine that on our streets instead of the overpriced Choke-a Cola.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

See, living in an apartment block (~50 apartments) is the bomb. No annoying neighbours to deal with, no pesky gardens... ah, I love my place.

Anyways, the people in my apartment block (the ones I've met) are pretty nice people, so I've got no complaints what-so-ever. Hell, in the last couple of places I've lived, the neighbours have always had 2 boys, and I'd always get along with them... I'm just easy to befriend is all...

Edit:

Free BBQ dog.

Sell to Koreans.

PROFIT.

someones not gonna like that. and I don't mean my neigbour or the dog.

That someone would be wilson... a mod. I suggest taking it back, lest you face the ban-hammer in all it's glory.

So i can get banned for telling the truth?

Sounds fair.

Or is it? [http://www.snopes.com/critters/edibles/tourist.asp]

 

[Hey Joe]

Our neighbours robbed us. While we were in the house. On the same night that Australia 'lost' to Italy at the World Cup. Talk about a bad night!

All they got was a wallet with five dollars in it, but even though we recognised them, the police couldn't do anything because it was our word against theirs. Anyhow, they were evicted about a year ago for general misbehaviour so all's well that ends well.