Never Heard That Before

[TakerFoxx]

So, I work as a pizza delivery driver. Pretty decent gig all around. However, like all jobs, it comes with a certain number of annoyances.

The one I'm bringing up for this thread is this: if I had a dollar for every time I've been walking from a customer's house to my truck (or vice-versa) and had some random passerby suddenly shout at me: "Hey! do you have my pizza?" or "Hey! Can I have a slice?" or some other variation, then I would never have to worry about gas money ever again. It was slightly amusing the first time, but now it's just very irritating, especially since I'm a complete stranger and don't really see why me being on the job makes it okay to have people I don't know shout stuff at me. And it's now very, very old.

So! What so-called "jokes" are you sick of hearing from people because of your job or hobby or something else you do?

 

[Elfgore]

If you utter the words "fresh off the press." to a cashier when they check to verify your money, I hate you. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, it still isn't funny the hundredth time.

Same goes for "It doesn't have a tag, I guess it's free!" I wonder if they can tell my laugh is forced?

 

[SweetShark]

Well, because I don't want to say my job, It will get confusing:

The annoying thing a specific thing call me all the time is "Doctor"......very annoying.

However, another person I really like, he call me "Buther". I like this joke.

Yeah, I know, is confusing as f*ck.

 

[Phasmal]

Not a job or a hobby, but if I tell you I'm partially deaf and you respond by going `What?` like you didn't hear me, I want to punch you.

Like how is that even funny?

And I hear it pretty much every single time.

 

[Euryalus]

I get a lot of Irish alcohlic jokes because of my name... usuallly from people who are way more irresponsible with alcohol than me. It doesn't annoy me so much as it confuses me how they think "Lol irish people are drunks" is a funny joke by itself.

Not a job or a hobby, but if I tell you I'm partially deaf and you respond by going `What?` like you didn't hear me, I want to punch you.

Like how is that even funny?

And I hear it pretty much every single time.

what?

My mom has bad hearing, but instead of saying "What" when she doesn't hear something, she somehow puts the most ridiculous word possible in it's place while trying to guess.

"Hey mom I'm going to the store"

"Did you just call me a whore?!"

*sigh*

 

[Kae]

It's not on the job but people yell insults at me all the time when I'm walking on the street but only from their cars while they are driving, it's not really funny or a joke or whatever and being insulted isn't something that bothers me but just the fact that they are so spineless they only do it from a fast moving vehicle that will be out of my sight in seconds really fucking pisses me off, if you have to say something to me come say it to my face, seriously I hate these people, I swear that if they ever catch me on a bad day I'm going to run after their car haul them and beat the crap out of them.

At work my co-workers ask me if I kill people because I'm kinda scary and have a scar on my face, they sure seem to think is funny when they first meet me but as soon as I say "Only the ones that ask too many questions" in the most calm angry voice I can make they kinda stop, except one guy he kept pestering me and making jokes until I got really pissed off and I grabbed him by the neck, slammed him against the wall and told him "If you don't shut up I will break your mouth" and another co-worker turned around and said "Please go ahead", it was kinda funny he stopped after that because he realized that I wasn't being all tsundere and stuff, I have no idea why people think me telling them they are stupid and to shut up means I like them, maybe they just watch too much anime?

 

[SweetShark]

It's not on the job but people yell insults at me all the time when I'm walking on the street but only from their cars while they are driving, it's not really funny or a joke or whatever and being insulted isn't something that bothers me but just the fact that they are so spineless they only do it from a fast moving vehicle that will be out of my sight in seconds really fucking pisses me off, if you have to say something to me come say it to my face, seriously I hate these people, I swear that if they ever catch me on a bad day I'm going to run after their car haul them and beat the crap out of them.

At work my co-workers ask me if I kill people because I'm kinda scary and have a scar on my face, they sure seem to think is funny when they first meet me but as soon as I say "Only the ones that ask too many questions" in the most calm angry voice I can make they kinda stop, except one guy he kept pestering me and making jokes until I got really pissed off and I grabbed him by the neck, slammed him against the wall and told him "If you don't shut up I will break your mouth" and another co-worker turned around and said "Please go ahead", it was kinda funny he stopped after that because he realized that I wasn't being all tsundere and stuff, I have no idea why people think me telling them they are stupid and to shut up means I like them, maybe they just watch too much anime?

Funny, I thought tsundere Anime/Manga character hit the others and insult them, but in reality are pure delicate flowers inside.....
So I wish to open them and see their inside. I would be very happy to get rid off their yelling and stupidness.
Btw, I hate tsundere characters.
Sorry, I had to remove this feeling when I read the word "tsundere".

 

[Kae]

It's not on the job but people yell insults at me all the time when I'm walking on the street but only from their cars while they are driving, it's not really funny or a joke or whatever and being insulted isn't something that bothers me but just the fact that they are so spineless they only do it from a fast moving vehicle that will be out of my sight in seconds really fucking pisses me off, if you have to say something to me come say it to my face, seriously I hate these people, I swear that if they ever catch me on a bad day I'm going to run after their car haul them and beat the crap out of them.

At work my co-workers ask me if I kill people because I'm kinda scary and have a scar on my face, they sure seem to think is funny when they first meet me but as soon as I say "Only the ones that ask too many questions" in the most calm angry voice I can make they kinda stop, except one guy he kept pestering me and making jokes until I got really pissed off and I grabbed him by the neck, slammed him against the wall and told him "If you don't shut up I will break your mouth" and another co-worker turned around and said "Please go ahead", it was kinda funny he stopped after that because he realized that I wasn't being all tsundere and stuff, I have no idea why people think me telling them they are stupid and to shut up means I like them, maybe they just watch too much anime?

Funny, I thought tsundere Anime/Manga character hit the others and insult them, but in reality are pure delicate flowers inside.....
So I wish to open them and see their inside. I would be very happy to get rid off their yelling and stupidness.
Btw, I hate tsundere characters.
Sorry, I had to remove this feeling when I read the word "tsundere".

Well it was the fastest way to get across what they seem to assume of me and I figured most people on this board would probably understand what that meant, I don't like yell all the time, I just tell people "That's stupid", "I really don't care", "Would you shut up already" and stuff like that, which I think it's what most people say when they are annoyed, that being said I do try to help other people as much as I can even when I hate them, so I guess that might give people the wrong idea about me.

 

[SweetShark]

It's not on the job but people yell insults at me all the time when I'm walking on the street but only from their cars while they are driving, it's not really funny or a joke or whatever and being insulted isn't something that bothers me but just the fact that they are so spineless they only do it from a fast moving vehicle that will be out of my sight in seconds really fucking pisses me off, if you have to say something to me come say it to my face, seriously I hate these people, I swear that if they ever catch me on a bad day I'm going to run after their car haul them and beat the crap out of them.

At work my co-workers ask me if I kill people because I'm kinda scary and have a scar on my face, they sure seem to think is funny when they first meet me but as soon as I say "Only the ones that ask too many questions" in the most calm angry voice I can make they kinda stop, except one guy he kept pestering me and making jokes until I got really pissed off and I grabbed him by the neck, slammed him against the wall and told him "If you don't shut up I will break your mouth" and another co-worker turned around and said "Please go ahead", it was kinda funny he stopped after that because he realized that I wasn't being all tsundere and stuff, I have no idea why people think me telling them they are stupid and to shut up means I like them, maybe they just watch too much anime?

Funny, I thought tsundere Anime/Manga character hit the others and insult them, but in reality are pure delicate flowers inside.....
So I wish to open them and see their inside. I would be very happy to get rid off their yelling and stupidness.
Btw, I hate tsundere characters.
Sorry, I had to remove this feeling when I read the word "tsundere".

Well it was the fastest way to get across what they seem to assume of me and I figured most people on this board would probably understand what that meant, I don't like yell all the time, I just tell people "That's stupid", "I really don't care", "Would you shut up already" and stuff like that, which I think it's what most people say when they are annoyed, that being said I do try to help other people as much as I can even when I hate them, so I guess that might give people the wrong idea about me.

Actually, do you know if some of your co-workers watch/like Anime? Just curious.
Also I know from a fact and experience that people enjoy if other persons "break". It is as you said, many people LOVE see others get angry. A Real life Troll if I may say.
Maybe he was trying to get you angry without knowing you would get so much angry? Who knows.

But yeah, I have my problems with my co-workers as well....

For example, a co-worker and I had an argue for something and then we gave up trying to end somewhere with it.
However my co-worker was so angry, she still trying to make me agree I was wrong.
I was like inside my head "I.DON'T.CARE!!!!!! Don't be obsess about it!!!"
I end up telling her that I am sorry and she is right....

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

Chalk another victim up to "resting ***** face."

Seriously, the amount of times I have been asked if something "is wrong" or if I am "upset" is far too many to list here. The resting position of my face muscles just happen to make it look like I am mad at the world.

I'm actually quite the jovial person, on the inside at least.

 

[Queen Michael]

There was this woman I used to work with, whose last name was Salander.

Yes, like the girl with the dragon tattoo.

She heard more jokes about it than she'd have liked, I suspect.

 

[Tanis]

Have a friend named Hannah.
-Few years back.
-Worked in the girls clothing section at Wal-Mart.
-EVERY DAMN DAY, hell every damn HOUR, 'O, hi Hannah Montana' or 'like Montana' or...etc/etc/etc.
-Got so bad she started using her last name, which is hard to pronounce, just to stop it.

For me?
Worked in veggies/flowers/fruits, at a store near a college, so...yeah
-'How about THEM apples'.
-*insert Asian making remark about banana and this 'thang'*
-Drunk girls getting a melon and asking about what I thought about their 'melons'.
-The ENDLESS remarks about ANYTHING that looked like genital.
-Drunks + things can MIGHT fit up one of their holes.
-Flowers = vah-jay-jay...lol?!?!?!?!?!?
-People asking about my sex life via 'have you ever used *this* on/in yourself'.
-etc/etc/etc

You have NO idea how glad I am not to work there.
People are assholes.

 

[NoeL]

Mine is pretty vanilla. I was a tall kid, so every time I met someone new they would always make a comment about how I should play basketball, or what my diet must be ("What are you feeding this kid?"). Ugh. Some people are tall - get over it.

 

[MrPhyntch]

My last name is "Finch." When I was younger everyone asked me on meeting me if I was the son of a local Real Estate king. In high school everyone asked me how Stifler's Mom was. As an adult, I get both with disturbing frequency.

At least the first one is legit. Knock it off with that Stifler's Mom line, it got old after the thousandth time.

 

[Spider RedNight]

"Oh, you own a cat, huh? You sure she doesn't own YOU? LOLOL" and variants thereof. Just because I own a cat doesn't mean she's a ***** like other cats you've known.

Also I have a friend who called me "Liz Lemon" sometimes for NO reason other than he knew it pisses me off and she's just a character named Liz.

And the usual "Oh, it must be SO nice to have glasses so when it rains you have a natural shield!" Yessss because rain just goes ALL THE WAY AROUND my eyes.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Not exactly directed at me but... "It's not a bug, it's a feature"

First time I heard it I laughed a bit, it was mildly amusing. However, I've begun to hear it every time someone's program does something weird. Jokes stop being funny the minute that they become a cookie cutter phrase to use whenever a particular event happens

 

[Kae]

It's not on the job but people yell insults at me all the time when I'm walking on the street but only from their cars while they are driving, it's not really funny or a joke or whatever and being insulted isn't something that bothers me but just the fact that they are so spineless they only do it from a fast moving vehicle that will be out of my sight in seconds really fucking pisses me off, if you have to say something to me come say it to my face, seriously I hate these people, I swear that if they ever catch me on a bad day I'm going to run after their car haul them and beat the crap out of them.

At work my co-workers ask me if I kill people because I'm kinda scary and have a scar on my face, they sure seem to think is funny when they first meet me but as soon as I say "Only the ones that ask too many questions" in the most calm angry voice I can make they kinda stop, except one guy he kept pestering me and making jokes until I got really pissed off and I grabbed him by the neck, slammed him against the wall and told him "If you don't shut up I will break your mouth" and another co-worker turned around and said "Please go ahead", it was kinda funny he stopped after that because he realized that I wasn't being all tsundere and stuff, I have no idea why people think me telling them they are stupid and to shut up means I like them, maybe they just watch too much anime?

Funny, I thought tsundere Anime/Manga character hit the others and insult them, but in reality are pure delicate flowers inside.....
So I wish to open them and see their inside. I would be very happy to get rid off their yelling and stupidness.
Btw, I hate tsundere characters.
Sorry, I had to remove this feeling when I read the word "tsundere".

Well it was the fastest way to get across what they seem to assume of me and I figured most people on this board would probably understand what that meant, I don't like yell all the time, I just tell people "That's stupid", "I really don't care", "Would you shut up already" and stuff like that, which I think it's what most people say when they are annoyed, that being said I do try to help other people as much as I can even when I hate them, so I guess that might give people the wrong idea about me.

Actually, do you know if some of your co-workers watch/like Anime? Just curious.
Also I know from a fact and experience that people enjoy if other persons "break". It is as you said, many people LOVE see others get angry. A Real life Troll if I may say.
Maybe he was trying to get you angry without knowing you would get so much angry? Who knows.

But yeah, I have my problems with my co-workers as well....

For example, a co-worker and I had an argue for something and then we gave up trying to end somewhere with it.
However my co-worker was so angry, she still trying to make me agree I was wrong.
I was like inside my head "I.DON'T.CARE!!!!!! Don't be obsess about it!!!"
I end up telling her that I am sorry and she is right....

Actually most of them do watch anime, I've heard them talk.

While I do know of these people because I know some of them I don't think this person was like that, he seemed to genuinely think I was his friend even though I told him I thought he was a stupid asshole 99% of the time, he always laughed like if I was telling a joke, to be fair I don't ever smile and when I make jokes they are very sarcastic and since I'm rather monotone there is some room for confusion but I thought I was quite clear that I didn't like him, but he just acted like I was playing, it's still annoying.

Oh that reminds me, my brother used to introduce me to people by saying "He's like a robot so you can insult him all you want because he doesn't have any feelings" and "Don't talk to him he never has anything interesting to say", neither of which I thought was funny and actually the second one really hurt because he interrupted conversations to say that to people and it normally ended there... That's kind off on topic I guess.

 

[Malty Milk Whistle]

My name is absurdly phonetically similar to a certain internationally famous boy-wizard. People finding out my name is not a fun occasion.
I honestly think the most spoken words to me are "YOU'RE A ****** HARRY"/"You mean like, Harry Potter?!"

 

[SweetShark]

Actually most of them do watch anime, I've heard them talk.

While I do know of these people because I know some of them I don't think this person was like that, he seemed to genuinely think I was his friend even though I told him I thought he was a stupid asshole 99% of the time, he always laughed like if I was telling a joke, to be fair I don't ever smile and when I make jokes they are very sarcastic and since I'm rather monotone there is some room for confusion but I thought I was quite clear that I didn't like him, but he just acted like I was playing, it's still annoying.

Oh that reminds me, my brother used to introduce me to people by saying "He's like a robot so you can insult him all you want because he doesn't have any feelings" and "Don't talk to him he never has anything interesting to say", neither of which I thought was funny and actually the second one really hurt because he interrupted conversations to say that to people and it normally ended there... That's kind off on topic I guess.

So in other words not only he made fun of your scar, but also interrupted you most of the times from other conversations to say the specific joke to you?
Well, I can see this only as a d*ck move by him.
But I digress, I made plenty of d*ck moves myself....it is only human. At least most of them are funny I guess.

Anyway, I will confess that I am in the second category your brother describe.
The reason of course most of the people I meet don't share the same interest like me. It is so rare to find someone that make me talk a lot and enjoy a conversation. Because I know they will get bored very easily or of course they will call me a nerd,weirdo or worst, an asshole behind my back. It happened to me and it hurts like hell [mentally I mean].
It doesn't help also I am from Greece....Some things aren't so "acceptable" like in other countries.

Well, sh*t. I am off-topic myself, but I will leave it like this just for the heck of it.

 

[Alleged_Alec]

Any and every receipt joke. Ever. I get twitches even now if I'm standing in line behind someone making them. If you make these jokes, please go and remove your vocal chords so you never will be tempted to do so ever again.

While we're at it, any joke along the lines of "let's see if it still works" with a debit/credit card.


Please, those people, leave jokes to those with more brain cells than eyes.