That isn't a fair or accurate nonpartisan review, that is forcing your biased perception onto others. Reviews, at least as far as I'm concerned, should be entirely neutral. Nobody cares what you think of the characters, they aren't you. You can absolutely review a game/product without putting your own personal bias on it, it's been done. People can make their own mind up about whether it's good or not, your role is to describe the gameplay. You could very well have done that, without adding the sarcasm or insults.
As much as I disagree with the review(specifically the wording), I'd rather have this than what you're describing. In a non biased review, you can't say the controls feel off or that they're perfect and say why, you would be limited to saying things like, "The controls are responsive, when I press a button the corresponding action is displayed. There is music. The sound effects occur on time. There are visuals in 3d.". A non biased factual non-emotional description of any art form makes it dull. Would you really look into a game if all the reviews sounded like they had no emotional impact on the reviewer at all?
I find the use of reviews are to read up on several of them and see who's biased opinion aligns best with your own biased opinion.
...also, your line about forcing her biased reception on others makes it sound like she's some kind of immoral brainwasher. If people decide not to buy something based on a single review then chances are they weren't very interested in it to begin with.
This is a JRPG in both a good and bad way. I definitely agree with Susan on the grinding, it's freaking ridiculous. Even when the enemies runs away from you, that still doesn't mean you are high enough level for the next boss, you need to chase them down to grind some more! Eventually I cheated and looked for place to grind, turns out there's a particular place where you can get 2k+ per battle, that cut down the frustration a lot. If anyone is thinking about playing this game, grind minimally before you get the ship, then go grind on the Ugly Duckling Isles. The sidequests (aptly named Errands) are really just that, errands. You don't get any exp after completing an errand, you only gain exp on the way of doing the errand. Another thing that bothers me was the lack of voice acting, I'm about 33 hours in, and voice acted cutscenes are getting scarce. I wish all the story quest cutscenes had voice acting.
That said, I still enjoy playing the game for the most part. Oliver and the gang are funny and charming. The cell-shaded artwork looks great. The story is good even if a bit predictable. It's like playing through a children's book. The characters you meet along your journey is mostly likable. The (Japanese) voice acting is excellent as usual. I kinda know what to expect going in, Level5 games are known to be grindy, but I'm ok with that. So I'm enjoying it more than Susan did.