Nine Comedic ESRB Rating Improvements

[Sylocat]

EA: Electronic Arts: The same game as every other in the franchise, but with a different title and crappier dialogue. If this game looks any good, get the first one instead.

CEM: Contains Escort Missions: BEWARE.

GSM: Grizzled Space Marine: Yet another Aliens ripoff.

RIB: Real Is Brown: A game that defines "realism" and "maturity" by washing the color out of everything.

GW: Graphics Whore: A game made by a developer who considers "better graphics" to be synonymous with "innovation and creativity."

 

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

-A: As any good politician will tell you, Australians are much more immature than the rest of the world. Therefore, it is our good-intended duty to protect them from video game's excessive smut & gore. This game may be okay for normal mature audiences, but if you're an Aussie, this game may just be too much for you.

 

[gains]

ATH: Attempted Humor. This game features jokes your dad would tell your 5 year old cousin.

NFT-IV: No Future Trade-In Value. A game that will either flood the market, or be so obscure that you'll be offered $1 or less selling it back after 6 months. Applied by law to every Madden title.

 

[seule]

NFT-IV: No Future Trade-In Value. A game that will either flood the market, or be so obscure that you'll be offered $1 or less selling it back after 6 months. Applied by law to every Madden title.

this could also be applied to any of the EA titles with securom

 

[Anton P. Nym]

S# - Sequel; this game will only make sense to players who have collected all previous # titles.

SO - Sold Out; this game contains so much product placement, or panders so much to the lowest common denominator, that all joy and novelty has been crushed out of it in service of its dark masters.

-- Steve