No Right Answer: Most Idiotic Fictitious Corporation Ever

The Great JT

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Weyland-Yutani, Umbrella, we both know they're in the Fuck-Up 500, so who cares.

Also, that burn on EA? More of that. Anything that says "EA is dumb and their policies are evil" is awesome.
 

JediMB

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Oct 25, 2008
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Well, the argument for/against Weyland-Yutani falls apart immediately, with false premises from the get go and a complete failure to realize that Weyland-Yutani (Alien 1-3) and the military (Resurrection) are not one and the same.
 

JediMB

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Hitchmeister said:
Cerberus Corporation from Mass Effect deserves an honorable mention. They start out as a pro-humanity group that only targets human colonies. They kill their worst enemy (Shepard), then clone that enemy and equip her with the best ship in the galaxy. It took the combined efforts of the Humans and the Turians (the Turians had the biggest military budget in the galaxy, the Humans not far behind) a decade or so of spending all their resources to build the Normandy. Cerberus built a bigger better Normandy II in a couple years while spending billions to resurrect Shepard. Then spent the third game doing everything they could to prevent the person they resurrected from using the ship they built to prevent the Reapers from destroying all human life in the galaxy. Where do they get the resources for that kind of stupid and what does their mission statement read like?
I feel like being nitpicky about the details you got wrong, and to point out how several of your questions were actually answered in the games... but, honestly, who gives a fuck anymore?

The Mass Effect trilogy is a mess. Especially part 3.
 

Korolev

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Jul 4, 2008
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Weyland Yutani have their terraforming business and presumably android business, with the Alien-weaponizing project as a side-project. But Umbrella seems to have "MAKE ZOMBIES" as their MAIN business plan. So Weyland Yutani are not as stupid as Umbrella.
 

Chris Pranger

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Caramel Frappe said:
Umbrella hands down. I don't see how having cities being run down by zombies only for the government to nuke it = profit. You're basically killing your customers, and having those customers kill other customers. In fact why did Wesker go with creating new devices and everything? He could of planted a lot of T-Virus gas into nukes and dropped them into every city and be pleased with his company ... doing something- even this plot I've made up doesn't make sense.
Caramel Frappe, I have nothing specifical to comment on regarding your post, but I just wanted to point out that your newly Christmasfied avatar brings joy to my heart every time I see it. That is all.

Umbrella to the TOP!
 

SirCannonFodder

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Mr. Omega said:
Firefilm said:
Mr. Omega said:
But Umbrella (or at least Wesker) DID have a plan! The plan was COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION. *drawn out exhale*

In all seriousness: Yeah, the right choice won here, for all the right reasons. And as 6 and Revelations show, their legacy of dumb lives on...


Still, these two were the obvious choices. I wonder who a good third candidate would be?
Apeture science?
Good call. Can't believe I didn't think of Apeture myself, especially since I was considering RED and BLU at some point.
The guys running RED and BLU are definitely phenomenally stupid. I mean, just read the Blood Brothers [http://www.teamfortress.com/bloodbrothers/] comic. They think Gravel is an actual fuel source, and their idea of a perfect plan is to have one impregnate the other with some weird impregnating machine.
 

Sporky111

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Dec 17, 2008
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The bit about the Resident Evil protagonists had Egoraptor written all over it. If I was just listening I could have mistaken you for him.
 

blackrave

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Umbrella for sure
Seriously, they are constantly being beaten up by a cast of Jersey Shore
How stupid that corporation must be?
I understand that their goals are unclear and maybe not that stupid
But if you are being beaten by a retard then you totally deserve it
 

Sheo_Dagana

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The problem with Umbrella is that even after they LEARNED the side-effects of the T-Virus, they didn't bother to shut down the branch that was directly UNDERNEATH the very large city of people who could have been turned into zombies! Things went SO TERRIBLY WRONG at the Arklay mountain facilities, and worse yet, there were survivors who were likely to start poking around and find, I dunno, an entire underground facility under the city? Why the hell didn't they pack it up and just move it? Good guys find nothing, are discredited even further, and no zombie outbreak. Plus, in the confusion of the move, they could have easily stolen the G-Virus sample from Birkin at some point, probably without him even knowing until they reached the new lab.

Instead, Umbrella (who clearly has the cash to just pack up and leave if they really want to), decides to let sleeping dogs lie and will eventually send a strike team to take the G-Virus directly from Birkin, which eventually leads to the outbreak. Umbrella, instead of getting the hell out of their, decides to drop in even MORE evidence of their wrong doings into the city in the form of the Tyrants. To do... what, exactly? Kill all of the STARS members? Why would they need to do that? It's pretty obvious no one has listened to them anyway, and the city has a lot of other dangerous things there that would likely kill them. "It's a good chance to gather battle data!" In what other environment will your Tyrants be fighting small groups of insurgents who are also being hunted by hordes of zombies?

See, these are just a couple of reasons that Umbrella's actions are baffling to me. Sure, they may not be around past Resident Evil 4, but their agents are still pulling strings in the background, agents who's end-games make even less sense than the corporation they are seeking to revive. I mean:

National Security Adviser Derek C. Simmons unleashes the C-Virus upon a town that the president is in giving a speech on Bio-Terrorism. He does this in order to assassinate the president to prevent him from revealing the truth about Raccoon City, thusly creating another Raccoon City in the process, but on a much larger scale. Why not just hire that bald guy with the bar code tattoo on the back of his head?

All that being said, I still love Resident Evil for it's campy heroes, hammy villians, and for giving me overly-grotesque monsters to kill.
 

Trishbot

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... I just had an idea.

What if Umbrella screws up so much that it's bought out by a new company... Weyland-Yutani! Thus Umbrella IS Weyland-Yutani in the FUTURE!!!
 

Loethlin

Itchy Witch
Apr 24, 2011
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I'm inclined to go with Umbrella.
One screw-up after another, they don't learn from their mistakes at all, nothing. And they give stupid names to their stuff.

Weyland-Yutani at least had other things going for them apart from idiots who wanted to tame Aliens.

Also:


Sorry, but there is no alternative spelling of "Weyland".
 

ANTIcarrot

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Jan 3, 2011
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How about Omni Consumer Products, as at least in the top 5?

ED-209? Completely useless. No safety features. Terrible IFF. Can be hacked by a small child.
Robocop line? 80% failure rate. Including a civilian massacre because they used a psycho's brain.

Other products include Sunblock-2000, a product that can cause skin cancer.
 

The_Lost_King

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ravenshrike said:
Without even watching the video, the answer is Weyland-Yutani
Actually if you think about it. ME3 Cerberus is like Weyland-Yutani, but even more stupid. W-Y tries to captture a very strong yet dumb(I think) animalistic alien. Tim tries to enslave a race of Aliens that have wiped out countless civilizations and are better than us in every way.