Not Wanting a Girlfriend is a "Serious Illness"

[DeepComet5581]

Unlike many people of my age, I grew up. I understand that one needs to be a realist and needs to work towards building a stable and independent life, which dating would quite frankly ruin. I don't understand why girls feel the need to go out with some arse just "Because" and guys feel the need to wear Polo or Checkered shirts and stick their hair in spikes to attract females. It's stupid and fatuous.

I do agree entirely. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now and we are very happy together - simply because she and I think entirely alike but perfectly complement each other when it comes to our skills and some hobbies.

When we met, neither of us was actively looking for a relationship. If you're compatible, things just play out. Going out and having your divining rod guide you may be fun to some men, but it certainly does not necessarily lead to a happy relationship

Wow i'm becoming popular today

A lot of men think that while you're young you should, in the words of a wise man, "Get your d**k wet" a hell of a lot. Frankly, I don't see the appeal. I would strive for a mature relationship with someone a little older than myself, with intelligence and experience, rather than go for some Autumn Orange Plastic Fantastic doll with hair extensions, high heels and glitter.

GOD I hate being young.

 

[Vigormortis]

Oh Japan. If there's anyone who can draw attention away from the embarrassingly retarded discussion in the US on gay rights (or rather, the depressing lack there of), it's you. You with your wacky sociopolitical views, your xenophobia, and your even more oppressive stance on homosexuality and woman's rights.

Well, there are certain lengths that Japanese men can't get to. Allegedly. Perhaps quality is the right word?

Spoiler

 

[Doomcat]

Unlike many people of my age, I grew up. I understand that one needs to be a realist and needs to work towards building a stable and independent life, which dating would quite frankly ruin. I don't understand why girls feel the need to go out with some arse just "Because" and guys feel the need to wear Polo or Checkered shirts and stick their hair in spikes to attract females. It's stupid and fatuous.

This is pretty much why i haven't spent as much time as i probably could have trying to get a girlfriend. Yes, i have females that I spend time with on a regular basis, but no-one i can really claim as having a romantic relationship.

Having said that though, I've had a girl who just entered high school out of frigging nowhere call me her "boyfriend" and suddenly we were an item. that lasted about 2 months and i believe she got bored, she never "broke up" with me, but just stopped acting like a freaking stalker. I like her yes, but I wanted to explain to her how I don't think I want to be an item with someone who's just entering high school and that I've known for less then a week. x.x

More on-topic related, I can date a female when I choose too, I fail to see how it makes me a shut-in when i decide not too, I have regular, daily conversations and social events with friends who are both male and female, but never something I can construe as a "date"

quick edit: same guy I quoted posted something just above me that also encompasses many of my feelings XD just thought I'd throw that in there as well.

 

[DeepComet5581]

Unlike many people of my age, I grew up. I understand that one needs to be a realist and needs to work towards building a stable and independent life, which dating would quite frankly ruin. I don't understand why girls feel the need to go out with some arse just "Because" and guys feel the need to wear Polo or Checkered shirts and stick their hair in spikes to attract females. It's stupid and fatuous.

This is pretty much why i haven't spent as much time as i probably could have trying to get a girlfriend. Yes, i have females that I spend time with on a regular basis, but no-one i can really claim as having a romantic relationship.

Having said that though, I've had a girl who just entered high school out of frigging nowhere call me her "boyfriend" and suddenly we were an item. that lasted about 2 months and i believe she got bored, she never "broke up" with me, but just stopped acting like a freaking stalker. I like her yes, but I wanted to explain to her how I don't think I want to be an item with someone who's just entering high school and that I've known for less then a week. x.x

More on-topic related, I can date a female when I choose too, I fail to see how it makes me a shut-in when i decide not too, I have regular, daily conversations and social events with friends who are both male and female, but never something I can construe as a "date"

quick edit: same guy I quoted posted something just above me that also encompasses many of my feelings XD just thought I'd throw that in there as well.

Yeah. Even the most unappealing of us have stalkers, it seems (No offence intended).

That said, I could swear that one of the cleaners finds me attractive. The only time she smiles is when she sees me. She even came into our department early when she knew I was working and started cleaning.

But i've learnt to take things with a pinch of salt. There's usually a reason why a stranger finds you attractive despite never having met you.

 

[ph0b0s123]

Where the hell are you getting this from. I know that it is conventional wisdom that rape is under reported in Japan, but I still don't see that means it is converted to a worse problem there than else where.

Look at the stats (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics): Japan has rape incidents of 1.2 per 100,000, the US has 28.6 per 100,000 in 2009. Even if under reported there would need to be 28 rapes not reported for every one that was just to match the US rate. There is no evidence to backup the idea that you run more risk being raped in Japan than anywhere else. Just because the Japanese seem to have a worrying obsession with rape porn does not translate into more chance of being raped there as anywhere else, at least as far as evidence goes.

Evilthecat, so I assume it has some validity.

Your counter argument to facts and statistic is, a guy on a forum told me this is so, so it must be so? Wow...

 

[Sarge034]

I have the solution to all of Japans problems. The only thing they need to do is ship me to Tokio and I promise I will inseminate as many cute and sexy young japanese women as humanly possible.

No need to thank me.

But that will cause a lack of genetic diversity...

FEAR NOT!!! I pledge myself to the cause. I got your back bro.

 

[Vigormortis]

Okay there have been 7 billion+ people on Earth for around 4 months now and nothing has changed so please tell me how we can't sustain that many people?

You know what? You're right! We've had over seven billion humans on this planet for four whole months! It's crazy to think we can't sustain that many people!

Or...maybe it's just been four months and when one says "we can't sustain" it doesn't mean when we hit some number of populace that people will just magically start dying off in troves but rather that we will start to see diminishing returns. (which we are)

There are now more obese people than starving people on this planet and we have the ability to produce far more food than we currently do so that is not an issue.

Um...no. Just no. There are not more obese people in this world than starving. Hell, even the US has a starvation problem. In fact, unless something's changed within the last few years (that I'm not aware of) we're still facing a food shortage worldwide. Both from increased population counts and reduced crop yields from environmental effects. (droughts, for example)

The Earth's population is expected to reach 9 billion by 2050 mostly because of Sub-Saharan Africa. Then it's expected to start to decline.

A good example is fertility to life expectancy for example India

1980 4.7 children per woman, 55 life expectancy
1990 3.9 children per woman, 58 life expectancy
2000 3.1 children per woman, 62 life expectancy
2010 2.6 children per woman, 65 life expectancy

these links have more information

http://arstechnica.com/science/news/2011/07/peak-child-and-the-graying-population-of-the-developing-world.ars

http://www.gapminder.org/world/#$majorMode=chart$is;shi=t;ly=2003;lb=f;il=t;fs=11;al=30;stl=t;st=t;nsl=t;se=t$wst;tts=C$ts;sp=5.59290322580644;ti=2010$zpv;v=0$inc_x;mmid=XCOORDS;iid=phAwcNAVuyj0TAlJeCEzcGQ;by=ind$inc_y;mmid=YCOORDS;iid=phAwcNAVuyj2tPLxKvvnNPA;by=ind$inc_s;uniValue=8.21;iid=phAwcNAVuyj0XOoBL%5Fn5tAQ;by=ind$inc_c;uniValue=255;gid=CATID0;by=grp$map_x;scale=lin;dataMin=0.85;dataMax=9.2$map_y;scale=lin;dataMin=12;dataMax=83$map_s;sma=34;smi=2.65$cd;bd=0$inds=

Yeah long link

This is part of what's contributing to the issues we're facing. Both in terms of sky-rocketing population counts and sociopolitical issues. That we're all living longer lives, but still reproducing at somewhat similar rates to what we were doing decades ago, means our population will continue to rise at exponential rates.

As for some of the sociopolitical issues, the articles covers some of them quite well and I don't feel the need to re-explain.

 

[GonzoGamer]

They are a bit racist and only want to hook up with other Japanese people.

Can you blame them?

I didn't mean to imply that rape is becoming less of a problem. I was just trying to look at the bright side of men becoming shut-ins.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Your counter argument to facts and statistic is, a guy on a forum told me this is so, so it must be so? Wow...

I said some validity but you should take it up with him not me, since before him posting that fact (or however you would want to phrase it) I assumed the death penalty would deter people.
I trust him to a certain degree, as much as you can someone over the net anyway.

 

[spartan231490]

I wonder, what about women not wanting boyfriends? Are they sick, too?

Also, wtf is waifu?

I believe it's a character someone obsesses over and forms an emotional connection with. I should mention that I'm not entirely certain I understood the explanation myself. Personally, I couldn't help but think it was a portmanteau of wi-fi and Kung Fu. I'm still waiting for somebody to develop an internet-based martial art.

The title is completely misleading. He said that if you actually want a gf but your self-esteem is so low that you say you can't get one and try to pretend it's ok, that is an illness. Calling it an illness might be going too far, but it's certainly not a good thing.

What if I have 13 years of empirical data and have simply made a decision not to waste anymore time, money and energy trying? Is that low self-esteem or good logic? For claritys sake: not trying to be a snarky a-hole. Genuine question. Also, not trying to sound like an Elcor, but it happens.

Side-note, I don't so much "pretend it's ok" as "deal with it". Similarly, I will never be an Olympic athlete. This is a thing one must decide on at some point. Considering I wouldn't want children if I had a relationship anyway, I don't see how it much matters.

OT: I just... I don't... I'm tired, okay? I'm too damn tired.

Dating isn't logical, it's emotional. You can't just "give up"(trust me I've tried, oh how I've tried), either you want it, or you don't. If you want it, but refuse to try for any reason, I don't think that's a good thing. Like I said, it's prolly going too far to call it an illness, but I don't think it's healthy either.

 

[ph0b0s123]

Your counter argument to facts and statistic is, a guy on a forum told me this is so, so it must be so? Wow...

I said some validity but you should take it up with him not me, since before him posting that fact (or however you would want to phrase it) I assumed the death penalty would deter people.
I trust him to a certain degree, as much as you can someone over the net anyway.

Oh, so you are just the mouth piece, if I disagree with the message, I have to take it up with someone else. Right...

 

[DeepComet5581]

I wonder, what about women not wanting boyfriends? Are they sick, too?

Also, wtf is waifu?

I believe it's a character someone obsesses over and forms an emotional connection with. I should mention that I'm not entirely certain I understood the explanation myself. Personally, I couldn't help but think it was a portmanteau of wi-fi and Kung Fu. I'm still waiting for somebody to develop an internet-based martial art.

The title is completely misleading. He said that if you actually want a gf but your self-esteem is so low that you say you can't get one and try to pretend it's ok, that is an illness. Calling it an illness might be going too far, but it's certainly not a good thing.

What if I have 13 years of empirical data and have simply made a decision not to waste anymore time, money and energy trying? Is that low self-esteem or good logic? For claritys sake: not trying to be a snarky a-hole. Genuine question. Also, not trying to sound like an Elcor, but it happens.

Side-note, I don't so much "pretend it's ok" as "deal with it". Similarly, I will never be an Olympic athlete. This is a thing one must decide on at some point. Considering I wouldn't want children if I had a relationship anyway, I don't see how it much matters.

OT: I just... I don't... I'm tired, okay? I'm too damn tired.

Dating isn't logical, it's emotional. You can't just "give up"(trust me I've tried, oh how I've tried), either you want it, or you don't. If you want it, but refuse to try for any reason, I don't think that's a good thing. Like I said, it's prolly going too far to call it an illness, but I don't think it's healthy either.

So I put the acquisition of a stable and secure existence above something akin to emotional slavery? I can live with that. If anything, that makes me sensible, not unwell.

Not that I don't want a relationship. I just have other priorities at the moment. Hell, i'm only 19. With modern medicine, I can hope to live another 75. No need to rush things.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Oh, so you are just the mouth piece, if I disagree with the message, I have to take it up with someone else. Right...

I didn't post any material because I don't have any, otherwise I would be more than happy to do so. Granted he didn't post any evidence either other than asserting.
As I said I wasn't aware of it before it was mentioned by Evil, it makes sense why it wouldn't show up in the statistics though.
But it doesn't really matter either way since we can't prove it unless we ask Japanese women, and I am not in that position any longer, since my friend most likely passed away some time ago.
The last message I saw from her after she had had her entire nether regions removed because of endometrial cancer was "I coughed uo blood...", so I assume things aren't going all that well.

 

[newwiseman]

Has Japan tried skimpier school uniforms and less tentacle rape?

I just feel bad for all the Hot Japanese School Teachers that are loosing their jobs to declining birth rates.

 

[RoonMian]

Yeah, fits perfectly to me. I don't want a girlfriend and i have been single for more than seven years now.

And I know that I am psychologically ill. Though I want to stay single because I am ill and not the other way around.

Though I think the problem in Japan is a different one. A quick emancipation of women - enhanced by foreign influence - in a society that is still deeply routed in a tradition of patriarchy. Just as in the western world women struggle with several conflicts between contradicting expectations by society in Japan men do. Their parents life the old way and that's all they know. The girls live the new way and don't want to for example quit their job by default as soon as they get married.

Do you remember a few weeks ago when some officials in a prefecture were scared sh*tless of mangas depicting strong, sexually independent women? Yeah, exactly that. A lot of japanese males are afraid of women who don't bow down to patriarchy like mommy did. Hell, there even are brothels in Japan where you don't rent a real hooker but a "real doll"©. So videogames are again - just like with school schootings etc. - the easy scapegoat for a severe societal problem.

 

[Zio_IV]

It's funny for me at least, considering that I believe the concept of "love" is akin to being ill in the first place.

One might say that reproducing doesn't require love, but that rarely happens in real life, where two people want a child, but no relationship.
So yeah, typically love and reproducing go hand-in-hand. And I for one can't stand being around people enough to ever want a relationship. A few doctors can say that I'm not well, it doesn't make it so, however. My life is stable and productive, so clearly I'm doing something right.

 

[Tommeh Brownleh]

This man is an idiot. I'm sorry, but when you believe that not wanting an insignificant other is an illness, you need professional help. I have absolutely no desire to be around any human of either sex. Does that mean I'm ill? No. It means I think about the future and think "Will getting laid really help me at any point in the future? Will making friends with this person ever help?" The answer is 99% of the time a solid no. Being a shut in makes life a bit easier. Avoiding human contact whenever possible makes it easy to not become obligated to spend any of your hard earned money on someone, makes it easy to not give in to peer pressure and do something stupid, because you have no peers, and gives you time to help the only person who matters in your life. YOU. If having a sane thought means I'm sick, somebody put me in a mental institution.

 

[archvile93]

Oh well, isn't Japan horribly overpopulated anyway? I've seen pictures of their subways.

 

[Broady Brio]

I have the solution to all of Japans problems. The only thing they need to do is ship me to Tokio and I promise I will inseminate as many cute and sexy young japanese women as humanly possible.

No need to thank me.

I salute your selflessness.

Not wanting a girlfriend? I only think that as I currently lack a sustainable income and live with my parents. When I sort that out, I do desire one of these "girlfriends" just not right now.

 

[DioWallachia]

So....i also guess that Nikola Tesla has something wrong with him since he was too bussy making Earthquake machines, death rays and didnt want to go to any science demostration without the Tesla Coil.

YEAH!! that man was a sicko!! i mean, what can an unhealthy man like him could ever achieve without a woman??? That invention of Alternate Current is just crap, it will never catch on.