*NSFW* Masturbation "issues"

[Relish in Chaos]

OK, I'm going to come right out with it. I'm a seventeen-year-old boy, I'm a virgin, I'm circumcised, I masturbate pretty much every week...but it's getting bored, I'm always doing it in one place, and I have to be careful that neither my brother nor my mother walk in on me in the act.

I've been on resources like JackinWorld and stuff, and looked at different techniques, but they're either too inconvenient and don't give me any more pleasure than if I just use my regular "back-and-forthing-with-my-left-hand". Not to mention, due to my OCD, generalised anxiety and depression, I tend to find it quite hard to settle myself and relax (as well as a particularly annoying habit where, sometimes, I feel like I have to cough a lot before I do it), making me think that I'm not performing at my fullest potential. That could just be my perfectionist side speaking, but whatever.

So what the frick do I do? Funnily enough, I don't like getting persistent hard-ons while I'm on the bus trying to make my mind go blank. Please don't just say, "Get a girlfriend" or "Get laid"...that ain't happening anytime soon. I'm not a "stud" or whatever the colloquial term is for a male that is able to have casual sex with females like it's no biggie. I haven't ever had a proper girlfriend, and I don't have that many female friends, nor would I try to flirt with them just to sate my primal desires unless I was actually attracted to them. I only have one girl I pretty much fancy, and again, she's just my friend/acquaintance and clearly has no attraction to me, and she rejected my offers to go to the cinema together twice. So...yeah.

 

[Jux]

Hate to break it to ya mate, but random hard ons are gonna happen no matter how many times you rub it out at your age. May vary somewhat person to person, but I was going multiple times a day and would still get the unexpected erection in public. If its an embaressment issue, go with some form fitting boxer briefs, it'll make things less noticable. As for technique, I don't really have any advice there. Could always try holding your breath leading up to orgasm, though I wouldn't reccomend any item assisted autoerotic asphyxiation.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Hate to break it to ya mate, but random hard ons are gonna happen no matter how many times you rub it out at your age. May vary somewhat person to person, but I was going multiple times a day and would still get the unexpected erection in public. If its an embaressment issue, go with some form fitting boxer briefs, it'll make things less noticable. As for technique, I don't really have any advice there. Could always try holding your breath leading up to orgasm, though I wouldn't reccomend any item assisted autoerotic asphyxiation.

Yeah, I know, but sometimes I'd be walking around and I'd see a pretty girl and then I'd just feel weirdly...yearning.

 

[renegade7]

That's just an unfortunate part of being a teenager. In a few years, your hormones will stabilize and your arousal won't be so hair trigger.

In the meantime, consider wearing tighter underwear to keep things from sticking out or moving around. Try also pinching yourself or biting your tongue if you feel aroused.

As for technique, well there's only so much you can do with just a hand. Consider getting a masturbator (pocket pussy) if you feel you're not enjoying yourself enough.. Personally I had incredible success with the product called the "lilith uterus" toy: and by that I mean it is bested only by the real thing. You should have no trouble finding them online. Remember to get lube too though.

 

[darron13]

Normal teenage things. Really. I know you likely won't believe me but you're basically on the back end of puberty, so just give it time. The random boners, you'll get used to xD

Also, don't count yourself out on the girlfriend front either, doesn't matter if you're not a 'stud', not all women are looking for those kind of guys.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Normal teenage things. Really. I know you likely won't believe me but you're basically on the back end of puberty, so just give it time. The random boners, you'll get used to xD

Also, don't count yourself out on the girlfriend front either, doesn't matter if you're not a 'stud', not all women are looking for those kind of guys.

Yeah, I have pretty much gotten used to the random boners, but it doesn't stop it from being annoying. But I'm dealing with it.

And yeah, I know I don't have to be a "stud" to get a girlfriend (although it would make it easier). Just that my looks, coupled with personality, certain issues with social interaction (e.g. I tend to stutter a lot even with my close friends, I have to pee when I get really anxious, I get anxious over really little things), and my inability to love myself due to my low self-esteem. And I've heard that before you can love someone else (that is, as a romantic partner), you have to learn to love yourself - since, if you don't love yourself, why would anyone else? But I'm getting CBT for all my problems, so hopefully, that will help with time.

 

[darron13]

Normal teenage things. Really. I know you likely won't believe me but you're basically on the back end of puberty, so just give it time. The random boners, you'll get used to xD

Also, don't count yourself out on the girlfriend front either, doesn't matter if you're not a 'stud', not all women are looking for those kind of guys.

Yeah, I have pretty much gotten used to the random boners, but it doesn't stop it from being annoying. But I'm dealing with it.

And yeah, I know I don't have to be a "stud" to get a girlfriend (although it would make it easier). Just that my looks, coupled with personality, certain issues with social interaction (e.g. I tend to stutter a lot even with my close friends, I have to pee when I get really anxious, I get anxious over really little things), and my inability to love myself due to my low self-esteem. And I've heard that before you can love someone else (that is, as a romantic partner), you have to learn to love yourself - since, if you don't love yourself, why would anyone else? But I'm getting CBT for all my problems, so hopefully, that will help with time.

Makes it easier, yeah, but still, not impossible. Even if you consider the social issues (some of which I also have), you've a larger pool to choose from than alot of people (myself included). Trust me when I tell you, finding someone isn't as unlikely as you think but the thing is, getting sad that it isn't happening now won't help. You'll only make yourself feel worse. Not having a girlfriend doesn't make you any worse a person (in fact you're actually saving yourself from alot of the issues that come with it). You need to look at the reasons WHY you look down on yourself and evaluate them. Most of the time the problems aren't nearly as bad as you think they are. Don't ask yourself if you think someone else will see those 'flaws' as a problem, you'd be biased to say yes. Instead ask yourself if you'd see those flaws as a big deal in someone else. I assure you that you'll find most of them aren't. And yes, CBT will definitely help. At the end of the day, no matter how bad things get, you control your emotions, regardless of how much it might feel otherwise.

If there's ever a time when you feel down and you know that feeling down won't help fix what's bothering you, then ask yourself: What's the point of being sad? It won't change things, and like I said, regardless of what you might make yourself think, YOU control your emotions. Sure the CAUSE comes on without your input, but it's your choice to let it wash over you.
Whenever you feel sad and know feeling sad won't change things, remind yourself that you're in control. Then do something to distract yourself. Don't think about the sadness, but you CAN think about fixing things. But the sadness is something separate from that, you don't have to be depressed when you're trying to deal with the things that are bothering you.

 

[h4xor555]

Well, I already know I'm an eternal lone wolfer.

But anyways, why do you even masterbate? Does it feel good? Seems like you are doing it because you are bored.

In that case, I will say FIND A HOBBY!

Fixate and gravivate towards something, maybe it can even be productive or a marketable skill!

That is what I do, I just try to learn and master as many things as possible, and develop myself as much as I can, because CARPE DIEM.

You know what? Just keep ONE thing in mind. One thing.

Carpe Diem. Sieze the day. Live as though you will die tomorrow.

Godspeed OP!

 

[VanQ]

I admit that I didn't read the entire thread so if someone has made this suggestion already I apologize. If you aren't able to get off like usual then you may simply be bored.

Try masturbating to some new or unusual material. Something new and interesting may be exactly what you need.

 

[Mr.Cynic88]

Masturbation is pure self pleasure, so you gotta find whatever gets you particularly off, and do that. Personal, I find masturbating once a week on the low end. Back when I was in high school, I was on the wrestling team, and I always feared being one of the kids who would pop a stiffy on the mat while touching a dude, because that does occasionally happen, so I jerked it like every day. Perhaps you can just jerk off more!

In terms of strategy, I find all that fancy shit redundant. Do you use lube? Adding some Vaseline to the equation pumps up the pleasure, and makes the experience feel a little closer to actual sex.

If you're hurting for privacy, they'res always the bathroom and smartphone technique. We are in the Golden Age of Internet porn, so take advantage of it. Just remember to flush the toilet before you leave!

 

[White Lightning]

I once went on a fapathon so intense I cut my Penis. That's right, the friction tore some of the skin off. It actually didn't hurt that much, even though it was bleeding and everything.

I know this doesn't help you but I decided you needed to know.