offended by the word fat?

[Bamba]

Actually Im somewhat fat myself so if someone calls me fat I'd just realize they were correct when they said it. I see no reason to be offended by something which is true about me, and even if it wasnt true I'd say it wouldnt make much impact on me or how I feel. Its just another meaningless and pointless insult just like the words "jerk" and "idiot" as long as theres no truth in it in regard to the person that was called fat.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, whenever I talk with my students about how to talk with people in English, I always tell them that talk of height, weight, skin color, and discussions of people's bodies in general is impolite and inappropriate for talk with people you don't know very well. Maybe it's not a hard and fast rule of our society that gets talked about but it seems like a safe general rule.

This sounds about right. Just because someone's fat doesn't mean you have to say it, just like how you don't need to call someone skinny just because they are. Imagine if you called a black guy "ebony". He'd be creeped out nine times out of ten.

And because I'm tall, I'm told "You're tall" by strangers very often. It's not offensive, but after person number 9001 says it, it does get wearying and annoying.

 

[Eternal_Lament]

Speaking as someone who is fat (215-220), I can safely say that the word doesn't bother me. Why? Because I'm fat, that's all there is too it. I don't have an eating disorder, I don't have faulty genetics, and I don't have a disability that prevents me from exercising. I simply don't work out and I eat unhealthy things. Am I proud of it? No, not really. If there is a "fat" culture out there I surely don't want to be a part of it (who would really?) I would like to get better just for my own sake, but I'm not self-conscious of it either. I don't break down in tears if I'm called fat or tell people they should be sensitive about me, I just take it as "Well, yeah, obvious isn't it?" (or "Uhhh, why do you care?" if they're some random stranger) I'm comfortable with myself where I'm not disgusted but neither do I hold myself as the image of beauty.

So no, it's not offensive to call a fat person fat. That's just what it is. Going up to some random stranger and calling them fat may not be the best idea, but that has more to do with shit-talking someone you don't know rather than the word "fat" specifically.

 

[The Ubermensch]

"Fat" is definitely descriptive. Fat people may get offended though so why risk it, nobody wants to hurt anybody.

The hell's INTJ?

Meyers Briggs personality types. Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judgemental

the others are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving. You mix and match giving you a total of 16 personality types.

 

[solemnwar]

It's offensive because people call the very wrong people "fat" because people are stupid and society encourages unnatural body types.

"Why, you can't be serious!" Says someone. I am. Someone called Scarlett Johansson fat. Seriously. Because of some silliness like her thighs touching (and don't get me started on that whole "thigh gap" nonsense). Uuuugh.

 

[Yopaz]

Why is pointing out someone's flaws considered offensive?

We don't like hearing negative facts about ourselves. Let's say someone called me a loser for not being able to get a job. Yeah, that would offend me for some weird reason. It doesn't take much social skills to see this would offend someone. I am a retard when it comes to social situations. I understand this.

 

[Bamba]

Guys. Dont you think it'd be alright if someone called you fat if you're actually fat.....i mean if something that someone said about you is true, then there was nothing wrong with them saying it in the first place. We gotta accept what people think and say about us after all.....there will always be people saying horrible things about us all even if we dont know the person or if we dont deserve it.

 

[Jenx]

To quite a random guy on the internet.

"I'm not saying you should worry. All I'm saying is - You're fat. Know it. Be it. Eat less."

That's about it, really. We live in a cruel and rough world. Even if your world is safe enough so that you can stuff yourself with enough food to become this fat, that still doesn't mean you won't encounter bad stuff in your life. If your skin is so thin and your ego is so sensitive that you get hurt when someone describes you as fat, then you probably just need to focus less on your body weight and more on prioritizing your goals in your life and not getting offended by a fucking word.

 

[DalekJaas]

I don't think anyone should be offended by the term fat. I was never fat so I can't judge, but I was skinny as a teen and I always felt embarrassed about it. In the end a friend forced me to go to the gym and I love it, which is what any fat person can do. When I was 20 I weighed 63kg, and now a few years later I weigh 93 kgs and I have a lot more confidence and feel way more comfortable in a lot of situations I never did. Put in the effort to change and really commit and it will pay off. You can either complain that someone called you fat or you can take real action and improve your life in all aspects.

 

[Olas]

To argue that calling someone fat is okay because it's a true fact is incredibly naïve.

Being fat is widely considered a negative trait, so calling someone fat, even if it's true, is making a negative statement about them. After all, that person likely has many other attributes you could be pointing out instead but you're choosing to reflect on one that's hurtful.
Even if the person doesn't feel bad about their size, the act of calling them that is almost certainly disingenuous and mean-spirited. So even if being called fat doesn't bother you, the fact that a person would be willing to try and insult you should.

What does it matter whether someone is offended or not? There is no right not to be offended, although people desperately try to control agendas by inventing one. Claiming offence is basically a whine.

Nobody is arguing that you shouldn't be allowed to offend people, but being a dick is still being a dick whether you have the right to do it or not. Personally I'd prefer it if less people were dicks, wouldn't you?

 

[Arctodus_Simus]

I'm fat. Please, call me fat. Its easier, and I'll feel more comfortable.

Then again, I'm thick-skinned and pragmatic to a fault, lol, other people may not be.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Does it matter if someone is fat? If it's not relevant, don't fucking mention it. Being fat is considered to be a negative thing in our culture. I don't like it when people call me ugly - not because I don't acknowledge that I'm ugly, but because it's just a mean thing to say. It's not something that needs to be said and thus, like calling someone fat, is tantamount to just pointing out their flaws for the sake of upsetting them. People get offended by it because the only reason you have to point it out (unless you're their doctor) is if you intend to offend them. Telling someone "You're fat/ ugly/ an asshole" is hurtful not because it's not true, but because that person is left wondering "Why are they actively pointing out my flaws unless they are trying to convey that they hate me?" and someone communicating that they dislike you/ are repulsed by you is not nice because as social creatures, we want others to like and approve of us.

 

[Fasckira]

Skinny, fat, both descriptive non-offensive words on their own. They do however hold negative connotations.

I dont dance around people's weight; if it comes up in conversation I'll feel quite relaxed discussing it. I would never go up to someone's face and just say "You're fat." though.

 

[Screamarie]

Well, for me personally, I am very aware I'm overweight and I'm okay with that. I know it's because I have a poor diet for various reasons and because I don't do lots of phsyical activities cause that's just not my thing. I do try my best to eat well, I'd like to lose weight if only for my health and, believe it or not, I actually don't eat alot. I doubt anyone will believe me, but I usually only have dinner every day and rarely eat otherwise.

So when someone says "you're fat" or something of the equavilent I usually get upset...not because they're pointing out the obvious, because fine, I'm fat, so what?...but because when people have said "you're fat" they want me to feel bad about it. Once again I doubt I'll be believed, but no I'm not exaggerating. My weight has been mentioned several times and I've been told time and time again what I supposedly NEED to do so I can be skinny and therefore acceptable.

People have used it to put me down, as if being fat makes inferior, despite the fact that I am very intelligent, I'm very kind, I work my ass off to care for those I love, and the million others things about me that makes me as a person. Being fat isn't the only thing that I am and if I don't want to feel bad about, then don't try and make me.

That's my only problem. If you want to point out the fact that I'm fat, fine, I know it, you know it, whatever...but you then also can't get angry with me for pointing out that your sun tan makes you look like an orange.

 

[Loonyyy]

Well, what if you were called ugly, stunted, or hunch backed? Even if these applied, they'd still be offensive.

It's something about their appearance that they can't change in the short term. And I'm pretty sure most of the ones who you're going to offend by calling them it know it already.

Better yet, why do you need the adjective to describe them to them?

And, just an FYI, in much of society, being called skinny is a good thing.

 

[Angie7F]

Well, I do try not to talk about physical attributes of people I dont know well with people I dont know well.


But if it is with my boyfriend and family, I would just say "Oh, there was this fat, black. bold, short guy that was...." rather than "There was a rather overweight african american male with a receding hairline." it is so many words that i even forgot to say that he is short.

I think being how comfortable you are and how well you know a person enough to decide what words is what really matters.

After all, if you are fat, you are fat...
If you feel offended being called fat, then you should try and become "normal" weight range so that people wont point to your weight.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I've read that there's various fat people who prefer to be called fat than overweight, because overweight is making a judgement about what shape they should be. Not sure how widespread the view is.

 

[Lieju]

I'm a woman of normal weight. (according to my body-weight index, anyway)

But I've been called fat all my life, because apparently the society's image of 'fat' means people like me and it's okay to make fun of my weight...

My best friend, on the other hand, is overweight. I wouldn't call him fat, I'd call him overweight (which he clearly is).

If your skin is so thin and your ego is so sensitive that you get hurt when someone describes you as fat, then you probably just need to focus less on your body weight and more on prioritizing your goals in your life and not getting offended by a fucking word.

In my case anyway it's not exactly that I get offended, just depressed that the ideal-body-image for women (and how important their weight is) is what it is in the culture I live in.

 

[Realitycrash]

I'm a woman of normal weight. (according to my body-weight index, anyway)

But I've been called fat all my life, because apparently the society's image of 'fat' means people like me and it's okay to make fun of my weight...

My best friend, on the other hand, is overweight. I wouldn't call him fat, I'd call him overweight (which he clearly is).

If your skin is so thin and your ego is so sensitive that you get hurt when someone describes you as fat, then you probably just need to focus less on your body weight and more on prioritizing your goals in your life and not getting offended by a fucking word.

In my case anyway it's not exactly that I get offended, just depressed that the ideal-body-image for women (and how important their weight is) is what it is in the culture I live in.

Trust me, it's equally depressing for men to see what our ideal-body-image is. It's just that apparently no-one likes to talk about it.
It's seriously angers me when I see all the documentaries and .gifs made about female body-image and the eating-disorders they generate, and they never, ever mention the same issues for men.
Apparently, my disorders aren't important.

 

[Vegosiux]

Why is pointing out someone's flaws considered offensive?

We don't like hearing negative facts about ourselves. Let's say someone called me a loser for not being able to get a job. Yeah, that would offend me for some weird reason. It doesn't take much social skills to see this would offend someone. I am a retard when it comes to social situations. I understand this.

The point is more, what's with this need to point someone's flaws out even when they are in no way related to your life? That old couple down the street that you never talk to and might as well not exist as far as you're concerned? What's the point of going out of your way to point out that they're not really the personification of the modern perception of beauty?

It's a waste of time and effort.

PS: I'm asking rhetorically, I already know most of needless remarks about other people's flaws serves only to stroke one's own ego.

And because I'm tall, I'm told "You're tall" by strangers very often. It's not offensive, but after person number 9001 says it, it does get wearying and annoying.

Yeah. Happens to me too. And one day, one day...one day, I'll raise my arms in the air, jump, and go "Congraaaaatulations, you are the millionth person to tell me this in the span of this decade! Here, have a cookie for your incredible luckiness, you lucky bugger you!"

That'll learn 'em to go Captain Obvious when nobody asked them anything.