A game of DOTA 2. On the Russian server. And I get either Centaur Warruner or Anti-Mage. There's no hope for him. Just like there is no hope for all of us who have been there, staring long into and hard into the abyss as it stares back, turning, calling, waiting. And I shall continue to stare, until I find myself within the crux of oblivion.
Or I could just be cheap and say Twister. He's a skeleton. If the dexterity scores for skeletons in video gaming history have not lied to me, and they most likely have, he has no chance at victory.