old man gaming rants

[Meggiepants]

Way back in my day, we played 3 different kinds of Space Invaders on a 22 inch T.V., not only was this considered a big color t.v., but flatscreen wasn't even a part of our vernacular! And you know what? We didn't complain that all Galaga and Galaxian and Space Invaders games were ripoffs of each other, we were glad to have different shaped 16 pixel creatures to shoot!

These days you guys complain if the costume on the protagonist of a new game is too similar to the costume of another game. It's a clone of God of War you say!

You don't even know what a clone is!

 

[similar.squirrel]

You darn kids and your non-linearity. Why, in my day we were expected to go right and only right! Why? Because you read books right to left, correct?

You darn kids, in my day we read books left to right!

You're ignoring Hebraic.

Hebraic = Hebrew?
Or descended from Hebrew?

I don't feel like putting in the effort to search and I figured you wouldn't mind explaining if you brought it up. =]

Hebraic [hi'breyik]: Of or relating to the language of the Hebrews.

I think some Eastern script is read top-to-bottom, as well.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Damn kids, we didn't have no damn multiplayer when I was a growin up! We had "Beat the neighbor kid with a stick till he bleeds". We didn't have 3D, we had LSD! No, shit, scratch that.

We didn't have motion controls, we had "Throw the controller at the TV to show your dominance over it".

 

[Cosmic Naginata]

Damn kids and their DRM or MDR or whatever! Back in my day we used password wheels to start a new gaming session.

Edit: The games came out quicker too!

 

[Wolfram23]

Back in the good ol days, WoW used to be HARD! The 5 man lvl 60 dungeons - Stratholme, Scholomance, Lower/Higher Blackrock Spire - these would take hours upon hours to complete and countless ghost runs. UBRS was so hard they allowed you to 10 man raid it!! And you liked it! And you were extatic about getting a good BLUE gear item, and even happier just to SEE a purple drop. The real Raids - Onyxia, Blackwing Lair, Molten Core - were actually for the hardcore guilds. None of these PuGs. A PuG wouldn't beat a single boss if it could even get enough people. Oh and PvP? It was called Hillsbrad. None of these battlegrounds, no. Tarren Mill vs whatever that gay Alliance town is called.

 

[quiet_samurai]

You kids now a days don't know how good you have it.

Why back in my day, you know where we got our dosage of adrenaline pumping action? Streets of Rage 2! None of this 3D polygons with 15 million commands to remember, with branching storylines, and badass characters.

Oh no. We had a total of 4 characters to use. We got genero-blond-kungfu guy who I'm sure also did the American Ninja movies, some girl who has the unviable task of fighting in a mini-skirt, a WWE reject, and Gary Coleman on skates!

And you know, it was awesome, and we LIKED IT THAT WAY!

You know how many buttons we had to deal with back in those days? Three. Three f***ing buttons. Jump, attack, and special. That's it. Now a days, I look at an xbox controller, and I thought that to handle one of those things you need to get a fancy certification from Microsoft or something!

Oh sure, we fought a gang that seem to have maybe like 3 guns to go in between 150 gang members, with memberships that range from the rocketeer, ninjas, and every extra from the Mad Max set, but dammit, that was how gangs were back in the day! We didn't need no stinking guns to kill each other, we just beat the tar out of each other with our fists until our costumes got messed up!

bah, not to mention that just to PLAY the game, I had to get up 4 in the morning, hike 6 hours uphill both ways through the snow with no shoes, just so I can play 30 minutes on my friend's sega genesis!!

Now post YOUR old man gaming rants. (or old woman, as the case may be)

Remember when blowing air into the cartridge or the machine itself fixed EVERYTHING, when your console was acting up?

Now you have to send that shit in and have some sort of scientist fix your machine.

 

[gamer_parent]

Remember when blowing air into the cartridge or the machine itself fixed EVERYTHING, when your console was acting up?

Now you have to send that shit in and have some sort of scientist fix your machine.

funny story, the R button on my DS occasionally acts up. Guess what was the most low tech fix I found on the net that actually works? That's right, blowing air into the button.

 

[DeaconSawyer]

You kids now a days don't know how good you have it.

Why back in my day, you know where we got our dosage of adrenaline pumping action? Streets of Rage 2! None of this 3D polygons with 15 million commands to remember, with branching storylines, and badass characters.

Oh no. We had a total of 4 characters to use. We got genero-blond-kungfu guy who I'm sure also did the American Ninja movies, some girl who has the unviable task of fighting in a mini-skirt, a WWE reject, and Gary Coleman on skates!

And you know, it was awesome, and we LIKED IT THAT WAY!

You know how many buttons we had to deal with back in those days? Three. Three f***ing buttons. Jump, attack, and special. That's it. Now a days, I look at an xbox controller, and I thought that to handle one of those things you need to get a fancy certification from Microsoft or something!

Oh sure, we fought a gang that seem to have maybe like 3 guns to go in between 150 gang members, with memberships that range from the rocketeer, ninjas, and every extra from the Mad Max set, but dammit, that was how gangs were back in the day! We didn't need no stinking guns to kill each other, we just beat the tar out of each other with our fists until our costumes got messed up!

bah, not to mention that just to PLAY the game, I had to get up 4 in the morning, hike 6 hours uphill both ways through the snow with no shoes, just so I can play 30 minutes on my friend's sega genesis!!

Now post YOUR old man gaming rants. (or old woman, as the case may be)

I feel older for having loved that game. Me and my bros spent one whole march break playing Streets of Rage and the Ninja Turtles game on Genesis.

 

[squid5580]

You kids with your fancy grenades and invisible bullets. Back in my day our grenades were white blocks. And you know how we knew they were grenades?? Because the grenade white blocks were bigger than the bullet white blocks

 

[squid5580]

You kids now a days don't know how good you have it.

Why back in my day, you know where we got our dosage of adrenaline pumping action? Streets of Rage 2! None of this 3D polygons with 15 million commands to remember, with branching storylines, and badass characters.

Oh no. We had a total of 4 characters to use. We got genero-blond-kungfu guy who I'm sure also did the American Ninja movies, some girl who has the unviable task of fighting in a mini-skirt, a WWE reject, and Gary Coleman on skates!

And you know, it was awesome, and we LIKED IT THAT WAY!

You know how many buttons we had to deal with back in those days? Three. Three f***ing buttons. Jump, attack, and special. That's it. Now a days, I look at an xbox controller, and I thought that to handle one of those things you need to get a fancy certification from Microsoft or something!

Oh sure, we fought a gang that seem to have maybe like 3 guns to go in between 150 gang members, with memberships that range from the rocketeer, ninjas, and every extra from the Mad Max set, but dammit, that was how gangs were back in the day! We didn't need no stinking guns to kill each other, we just beat the tar out of each other with our fists until our costumes got messed up!

bah, not to mention that just to PLAY the game, I had to get up 4 in the morning, hike 6 hours uphill both ways through the snow with no shoes, just so I can play 30 minutes on my friend's sega genesis!!

Now post YOUR old man gaming rants. (or old woman, as the case may be)

Remember when blowing air into the cartridge or the machine itself fixed EVERYTHING, when your console was acting up?

Now you have to send that shit in and have some sort of scientist fix your machine.

There was also finding the exact amount of pressure to put it in. Made you feel like Indiana Jones.

 

[Sam17]

Goddamn kids, if we could have it our way, we'd have it so nothing advances or becomes more established! We'd have it so everything stays the way we like it!

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

Darn kids! In my day we had a D-pad and 2 buttons! Now you got like 20 buttons! I need a danged roadmap to travers this Playstation 3 whozeewhatzit! And another thing, what happened to Atari and Sega making consoles? Oh, that's right, they both started sucking, but another thing! Where was I...

 

[McMarbles]

Friggin' kids with your millions of colors. They don't count if they're all shades of brown and grey! In my day, we had sixteen colors, but we actually USED all of them! Things could actually BE green or orange or blue! Our games didn't look like they'd been made out of mud and used coffee grounds!

And we didn't have none o' them bald space marines neither. In my day, a hero could be anything. A simple yellow disc that ate dots, a frog tryin' ta cross the road, a chef preparing oversized burgers by steppin' on 'em, a pitcher of water puttin' out fires by pukin' on 'em, some young punk throwin' watermelons at French chefs on his way ta steal ice cream... we had variety, dagnabbit! Screw you all, I'm gettin' some seltzer an' hard candy!

 

[wordsmith]

You kids now a days don't know how good you have it.

"Old man"? October 2nd 1981... 9 years older than me, I guess that makes you 29, 30 in October? You're not an old man. We have older, most of whom don't seem to have the same problem that you're facing. @The_root_of_all_evil for example, he's like 189 or something. Yes, back in the day games were simpler. But seriously, Duck Hunt or a current FPS? I know which one will hold my attention for longer. The minority of old games (Tetris, Pacman, Pong etc) survive because they're good. The rest fell to the wayside, survival of the fittest.

Having said that, Flash games still have that same simplicity....

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

You young whippersnappers. You know what we played with back in my day?

STICKS! And if you were wealthy: a stick AND a hoop.

But, we did so with honor and dignity. We didn't need fancy things like video games. We were happy with what we had: our imaginations! And our pride!

Now get off my lawn before you crush my petunias!

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

@The_root_of_all_evil for example, he's like 189 or something.

Excuse me for a moment.


Anyway, old man? I remember using the ZX81


Remember, I was 11 at this point...

This was back when you had to save games on tape and LOADING them took 7 minutes. Which could have crapped out at ANY time if you moved the table.

Saves? Sound? Colour? Dreams....simply dreams.

I got my first real console (The SNES) when I went to University. That was the bomb. And the PC had just came out. We managed to squeeze a tune out of the onboard soundcard and then I saw Doom.

Two years later, I actually saw it multiplayer...

Nah, you're not old yet.


BTW; I once spent 7 hours touch-typing a game in on the infamous flat keyboard before the rampack wobbled and destroyed the lot.

7 hours typing lost.

This is how I can grind happily

 

[gamer_parent]

You kids now a days don't know how good you have it.

"Old man"? October 2nd 1981... 9 years older than me, I guess that makes you 29, 30 in October? You're not an old man. We have older, most of whom don't seem to have the same problem that you're facing. @The_root_of_all_evil for example, he's like 189 or something. Yes, back in the day games were simpler. But seriously, Duck Hunt or a current FPS? I know which one will hold my attention for longer. The minority of old games (Tetris, Pacman, Pong etc) survive because they're good. The rest fell to the wayside, survival of the fittest.

Having said that, Flash games still have that same simplicity....

well, no, I'm not that old. Nah, that's my dad. back in 1985, he played the living crap out of Mario 3 to the point my mom threatened to toss the NES out the window if he didn't stop. Ahh, those were the days.

Having said that, I just like to complain... a lot.