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latenightapplepie

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Nov 9, 2008
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teisjm said:
If master chief turned out to be gay.
And then got it on with the Arbiter.

[small] I'm sorry[/small]

EDIT: Revan's abrupt departure from the scene ends just as abruptly when some minor fault in the hyperdrive of whatever ship he's flying creates a huge explosion, killing him.
 

The_ModeRazor

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Jul 29, 2009
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Captain Pancake said:
The_ModeRazor said:
Gordan Freeman gets contact lenses.
And shaves.
But then he'd just look like Hugh Laurie...
Actually, I have a pic of Dr. Gordon House Freeman, but dunno how to post it here.
A crying shame, ain't it?
 

Captain Pancake

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May 20, 2009
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The_ModeRazor said:
Captain Pancake said:
The_ModeRazor said:
Gordan Freeman gets contact lenses.
And shaves.
But then he'd just look like Hugh Laurie...
Actually, I have a pic of Dr. Gordon House Freeman, but dunno how to post it here.
A crying shame, ain't it?
Well, mixing the two would be like mixing sweet and savoury, like chocolate flavoured crisps... It just wouldn't be right!
 

Macgyvercas

Spice & Wolf Restored!
Feb 19, 2009
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Ganthrinor said:
The Final Final Fantasy (no, really)
Dude, Final Fantasy, along with Legend of Zelda, Metroid, and Mario will outlive everyone here on the Escapist. The only one I want to see last forever is Zelda.
 

Nmil-ek

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Dec 16, 2008
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Have Jeremy Clarckson be the voice of Kratos in God of War III... fuck I think I need to throw up now.
 

Robby Foxfur

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Sep 1, 2009
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Octorok said:
TheFacelessOne said:
Peach becomes a man.

That'll totally derail the motives for Bowser and Mario!
Wait... the entire children's franchise was based on a kidnapping rapist and an angry lover? Fantastic. Tell that to the children.
Yes but now its kidnapping, Rape, and angry gay lover. SO in some ways it a hell of a lot better for KIDS!
 

Kollega

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Jun 5, 2009
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Let's see.

Make all Gears of War cast flamboyantly homosexual. Including females and Locusts. Then change their supplier to NERF armories.

Cut the cutscenes out of Metal Gear Solid. Though only fans will get pissy.

Throw a gas giant-sized load of optimism and originality in Warhammer 40.000 - this will RUIN IT FOREVER!

Make the Cookie Monster a new Batman's sidekick.

dragonsatemymarbles said:
Mass Effect with a "lovable new alien species kids can relate to".
What if those species are Lombaxes of R&C fame or some equivalent thereof? A huggable fuzzy aliens who will kick your bacon to hell and back if you so much as look at them funny.

Oh, i've got another one. Replace all R&C weaponry with the guns from Modern Warfare 2 for no particular reason, then drench it in the same "war is hell, you smacktards!" additude. That's what i call "killing franchise, then pissing on a corpse and setting it on fire". Good thing such turn of events is nigh impossible.
 

Lullabye

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Oct 23, 2008
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latenightapplepie said:
teisjm said:
If master chief turned out to be gay.
And then got it on with the Arbiter.

[small] I'm sorry[/small]
Thanks for that image.......[sub]the arbiter with that vag of a mouth[/sub]

hmm, how to ruin a series? In and original way?
Make the hic in L4d2 crack racist comments. And make the characters all a little more stereotypical.

Or make the guy who directed MGS4 ( I forgot his name...Hideyo Kojima or something) direct the new Fianl fantasy. And you thought it had good story before?
 

Wayte

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Oct 21, 2009
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Octorok said:
TheFacelessOne said:
Peach becomes a man.

That'll totally derail the motives for Bowser and Mario!
Wait... the entire children's franchise was based on a kidnapping rapist and an angry lover? Fantastic. Tell that to the children.

There are people who think it isn't?
 

Diablini

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May 24, 2009
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Taking away all the black humor, the beloved turn based strategic combat, the diverse and interesting setting and the cool Easter eggs from Fallout.
Oh, wait. They've already done that. :mad:
 

axia777

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Oct 10, 2008
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My fav parts from the link.

This Bat Man stuff here is really funny.

In the original Batman comics, The Joker started out as a sadistic serial killer; in the first two years he was used he killed close to 30 people. Eventually the editors decided that allowing him to kill so many made Batman look bad ? and not just bad, but incompetent, for not being able to stop him. As a result, for the next twenty years the Joker became a laughing idiot who robbed banks, built wacky gadgets, and pulled harmless pranks. Then in the 1970s Dennis O'Neil revived the character and made him a psychotic murderer again, even more dangerous than he was before.

* They did and do have a point, admittedly. Batman's inability to permanently stop the Joker while simultaneously fighting gods and demons does make him and the Gotham legal system look bad. There's a thin line to walk.
o An even stronger example is Batman himself. In some early issues of Detective Comics Batman himself would shoot criminals to death on a regular basis, until DC editorial director Whit Ellsworth asked the writers to tone it down and make it kid-friendly. This sounds incredibly jarring to modern audiences because Thou Shalt Not Kill has been Batman's defining moral principle for so long, rendering this early facet of his character almost unbelievable.
o While the general summary is true, it's an overstatement to say that Batman would shoot and/or kill criminals "on a regular basis" in the early days. There were two instances of Batman killing with firearms in the early days - he shoots a vampire, and kills Hugo Strange's Monster Men with an aerial strafing run. Both fit categories where killing is arguably acceptable, even under a traditional heroic code against killing.
Also this stuff about the Hellboy movie would have made it so lame as to be turds out a dog's ass.

The movie Hellboy was almost a victim of Executive Meddling. While the movie was in its infant stages, executives felt that Hellboy should be changed from an out-and-out demon to a human who was somehow inexplicably born in Hell, or a human who turned into Hellboy when he got angry, a la the Hulk. Thankfully, the director vetoed all attempts to change the character.

Oh this one just burn my hide. DIE EXECUTIVES DIE!!!

In the stoner flick Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, one of the main focuses in the movie is about the subtle but ever-present racial issues that the racial minorities face in a hilarious manner. The execs wanted the director to change their ethnicity to them both being Jewish, which would have effectively nullified the central concept of the characters and, at the same time, ironically proven the point of the film. The director/writer said no and, as a compromise, placed a Jewish buddy duo into the movie as the lead characters' close friends.

* Perhaps as a reaction to this, the film's sequel places the racial issues completely front and center, with a plot that involves Harold and Kumar being arrested as terrorists simply for getting onto an airplane.
Executives should be fucking BANNED from the creative process. They have brought more failure upon films, movies, comics, and video games then any other factor in all of creative history. When will they learn that they are stupid and should just shut the fuck up.
 

Sparrow

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Feb 22, 2009
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Aren't we meant to not like all caps titles?

Doesn't that mean I'm meant to report you?

[small]Clarification, please.[/small]