One Size Does Not Fit All

[Rainboq]

Stereotypes.

Kill them with fire.

ALL of them.

OT: As usual, Susan does her usual excellent, well reasoned piece, also, didn't know you were married too Russ, that's awesome! Congratz!

 

[SonicWaffle]

Amen! I wish I could wear all the awesome shirts that guys get to, without having to wearing their over-sized boxy shirts.

We'll trade you comfortable t-shirts for multiple orgasms. The handover is to be made on neutral ground and officiated by a neutral party. In this case, nuns, as they have no need of either.

I'm also sick of seeing the "I Only Date Superheros" or "My Boyfriend is a Superhero" shirts. I just want an awesome looking shirt with Nightcrawler or Wolverine on it!

I've not seen those sort of shirts, but they strike me as bizarre. OK, so you want people to know that your boyfriend is a superhero. Presumably, to the designer of the shirt, this means "he is a nice guy and I like him a lot". When you analyse it with a rudimentary knowledge of superheroes, however, the implications are far more disturbing.

Let's see, we've got;

Batman - "My boyfriend spends his nights hanging out with a trusting teenage boy wearing tight costumes and engaging in strenuous physical activity together, which I find quite suspicious. He's also emotionally dead and instead of spending money taking me on dates he chooses to buy himself bat-themed vehicles"

Superman - "My boyfriend and I can't have sex because he'll quite literally tear me in half and as such our relationship is permanently stunted by frustration, the inevitable consequence of which being that I'll eventually get so horny I'll go out, get drunk and screw some random dude who, when my boyfriend later discovers this fact, will end up being thrown into the fucking sun in a fit of jealous rage"

Wolverine - "My boyfriend is a murderous psychopath with extreme PTSD, who I know will remain the same as I gradually wither and die, meaning our relationship is doomed to eventually break his heart and add to his already considerable stash of mental problems. Also, he's short"

Spiderman - "My boyfriend is actually a pretty nice guy, but seriously. Fuck his life. He's like a magnet for terrible shit that I'd really rather not get involved with"

Overall, the statement "My boyfriend is a superhero!" gives the message that you have an extremely strained relationship with your man, he barely spends any time with you because there's always an alien invasion, bank robbery or attack of killer top-hatted bees, and your inevitable fate is to be brutally murdered at the hands of his many enemies. If you're lucky. If you're not, you'll probably get kidnapped, raped, and possibly brainwashed to attack your boyfriend.

I suggest a "My boyfriend is ordinary! He's not perfect but I doubt I'll ever be dangled over a pit of acid because he mildly annoyed someone!" t-shirt to avoid all these unfortunate implications. Now to sit back and await my royalty cheques...

 

[AmayaOnnaOtaku]

Thank you, thank you thank you Susan! For saying what I have been thinking for years

 

[Ginuk]

I've had this same problem with the Escapist's store, actually. Back when it was new the only (non-logo) Zero Punctuation shirt for girls was the "Stonking Great" one. Not sure how many women will wear such a shirt.
I had to buy the one I wanted (Pants-on-Head Retarded) in male sizes. It looks terrible on me and I never wear it.

The store is a bit better these days, but it's still not unisex for some reason. Where are the female Doraleous shirts for example? Or why only part of the ZP designs are available to women? (and this is not a problem with running out of stock, they were never available in female sizes).

(I'm afraid to ask why there are only women's underwear in the store).


I agree that this is a widespread problem. Maybe the Escapist store is a good place to start fixing it?