Online Decency

[johnzaku]

It?s no secret that web anonymity breeds a high level of douche-baggery. Why bother with outdated concepts such as respect, open mindedness and base decency when no one knows who you are?
Why, indeed, when it so easy to set up a new forum account or a blog and write things which you would never say aloud? Why?

Because of the illusion that your actions, your words are completely consequence free. I say illusion because it is just that, an illusion, it?s false. There are always consequences to our actions, though it may not be ourselves who suffer them.

More than a punch to the head, words do hurt. What you write laughing in your bedroom at 4am about another human being can deeply wound that person.

When a time comes that I find myself writing about another person, I always ask myself a simple question: Would I say that to his/her face? If the answer is yes, I hit publish. If the answer is no, I delete.



I want to say that I was eloquent enough to say this myself, but it was actually Ryan Sohmer, author of the webcomic [link]licd.com[/link] who said this.

I wish I could institute this policy to the web as a whole, but I simply don?t have that reach. My hope is that some of you at least will take these words to heart, and like our mother?s taught us to think before we talk, please think before you type.

I was recently talking a friend out of supreme grief and tears after someone made fun of her online. For her own privacy I will not go into what she was teased about, but really, it was bad.

I'd like to ask if any of you could share your thoughts?

 

[johnzaku]

Well that's one thing...

 

[SomeUnregPunk]

i remember a thread on a forum long ago where two or three people create a mock fight of a relationship breaking up and secrets spilling out on to the internet just written to show the illusion of the impact of speech on people. Some people were deeply horrified, some tried to reconcile them and some found the thread hilarious.

It's like that prank were two guys try to make another feel bad for saying something by immediately say, "How could you say that?! His parents died fishing off a short pier!"

I learned that people are dicks. you can't stop it. You can't fight it. You just gotta accept it.

 

[silasbufu]

I can think of a few "virtual" people I would like to meet in person.
One in particular..there would be blood.

 

[scrambledeggs]

I agree with you.
I don't have the same policy though.
The internet makes me a lot braver.

 

[johnzaku]

I myself usually take dickery in stride, I just don't like it when I see others who are not as strong or are more sensitive or inexperienced get deeply hurt. It bothers me that there are people that take such pleasure in causing pain in others.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Sorry but although I do agree with you I have to say this.
People need to harden the fuck up.
Yes, we should be able to all get along respectfully but it will never happen. People can get worked up and may say shit that is misinterpreted or just taken as harsher than intended.

However, there will always be assholes no matter where you are. If you get all butt hurt over someone calling you names online then you should not be online to start with.

This. The internet makes people soft, so what if someone else swore at my mum? Not like I know the person, just as like how it should be if you see or read something that offends you, just brush it off. If you can't just let things go over your head on the internet, where everyone is anonymous and no one knows each other then I dread to think how in real life you'll cope with the same kind of situation, you won't is the answer. I agree with this guy, harden the fuck up, for all our sakes, don't be a little whiny baby.

I personally am as civil as I can be at times but with times like this and other times I am very very blunt, and I am in real life too, if someone says something or does something I don't like I will tell them it's not called for, and not in any stupid round the bush crap way either, cause my parents taught me not to take shit from people, the moment you let someone walk over you with what they say and do is the moment they(and others)think they can get away with it all the time. I say fuck. that.

Obviously you can't do that on the internet cause you'll start massive arguments which is why you should know when to walk away(or stop typing that furious hot headed reply)to "fight"(type)another day. Just ignore idiots is all I'll say.

 

[Citrus]

There will always be douchebags on the internet. Nothing you can do about it but protect your personal info.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

If everybody was required to be honest all the time, then it would be quite easy for everybody on the internet to act with a semblance of common decency.

However, it's quite easy to be duped. There are people that will say things for attention, for reactions, or just to piss people off. Everybody knows that if they've been on the internet for more than a week. Accordingly, it's hard to take things put on the internet seriously.

Someone threatens suicide, we reason that they're seeking attention, as they're more likely to reach out to people in real life. Someone tries to passionately speak out against something, we reason that they're only trying to stir up trouble, as a one-sided argument clearly presents an aggressive stance against those of different views.

If every example I'd listed above was completely authentic without exception, they would be approached much more seriously. However, thanks to the fact that we would rather be detached than deceived, we generally approach dubious claims (and ones of greater credibility) with a sense of guardedness, preferring to pour our derision on something from a distance rather than take an involved stance on it and face the possibility of being tricked.

QED: http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n250/SODChurch/1215652282008.jpg

EDIT: Before anybody treats my post like an apology for every person that's ever been a cockbag on the net, allow me to point out the obvious before you can: yes, some people are just assholes. I'm only trying to provide some insight as to why it's so rampant.

 

[Darenus]

I deffinitly support that point of view and behaviour in online forums, mate. I agree, people really don't need even more BS thrown at them when they are just getting home and try to get the day over with some forum browsing and where ever else comments are made public.

I sure support this thought and hope also that a lot of people that do not have that decent behaviour either grow up and learn it or just get an even better answer in return then.

Guess I have nothing more constructive to offer to this thread myself yet, but hey, there's actually the one word I would like to throw out there to all the 1-word posters.

"constructive"

Give the forum a reasonable answer if you got to criticze something, be supportive to the subject or rather just be quiet if you only wanna say something that gets personal and misses the point of a thread.

*awaits flaming*

 

[Motti]

It's called netiquette. Follow it and realise that there is somebody else on the other end.
And yes, douchebags will be douchebags, just ignore them and they'll go away (which sometimes works in real life, the rest of the time the answer is violence).

 

[Kif]

I am completely with you.

The Internet is a funny old beast, I tend to look at it in generations... there's my generation who are quite old and mature when it comes to Internet usage. I personally have been chatting and using forums of one kind or another since the mid 90's.

Most people in my Internet generation have matured to understand that the text that you are replying to has come from the fingers of a flesh and blood person somewhere and that you should treat and respect themm as you would face to face. Unfortunately it doesn't apply to everyone, some people would be jerks face to face too, however, personally I treat people as I would expect to be treated myself.

Then there's the middle generation, people who started to see the freedom of the Internet. They have well formed opinions and where face to face they would not be so confident they are not afraid to take people to task with insults included to defend their opinions and tend as a rule of thumb to not respect other people for their values or opinions.

Then there's the young generation who have fully embraced the freedom of the Internet, don't care about opinions and just want to find out what people ate for breakfast, or what people's favorite movies are. They're always ready to slam anyone and everyone for no real reason other than they can.

Anywho, that's my thoughts... I know it's quite generalised, but I'm a human therefore I must categorise in order to make sense of things.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Okay, my opinion SWALLOW A CUP OF CEMENT AND HARDEN THE F*** UP!!! I admit that it was a crude way of saying it but that was kinda THE POINT!!! Honestly, if people just took things in their stride there would be much less conflict because people could just shrug it off. If you cannot handle the derogatory words of someone else (unless that person is very close to you) then go take some pills of pure happy and never return ... or, alternatively, gouge out your eyes and ears as otherwise you shall forever be bombarded with insults, both visual and audial that will haunt you forever. The important thing to remember is that as people we can be objective and therefore separate ourselves from our emotions to certain degrees, so if you are sad ignore the sadness as est you can.../rant

 

[Arcadia2000]

Yes, people are jerks, but that doesn't make it okay. If it's not something you would say in public, where people were watching, then it shouldn't be said. Seriously, would you scream like the 13-year-old-Xbox-Halo-Screaming-Fools at someone in public? The police would be there to break it up in no time. Also, if you talked like that to everyone you met, it'd be hard to make friends. There are jerks and losers IRL, but the new "freedoms" of the internet have brought out the worst in people. I can't decide if it's a reflection of how we all are inside or if the scum of humanity have risen from some forgotten hole to invade the real world. I don't like it, it's not right, but I do agree that when you open yourself to strangers and invite the public in, you'd better be prepared to see that the world isn't sunshine and rainbows.

 

[manicfoot]

I think apathy is the best way to cope with people dicking you for no reason.

 

[Stalk3rchief]

The internet has the same basic rules the world once did. Only the strong survive. The internet is a harsh and merciless place, a person needs to learn to take any insult and be un-phased or they need to avoid forums.
It's the just the way things are.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

The internet has the same basic rules the world once did. Only the strong survive. The internet is a harsh and merciless place, a person needs to learn to take any insult and be un-phased or they need to avoid forums.
It's the just the way things are.

And it's just the way things are in real life too, like many others and myself have said there are assholes out there too. If you can't detach yourself from an "incident" on the internet then god help you when you meet an asshole in real life.
Don't hate the game, hate the player. Those who know it as the other way round can't adapt to the way the world changes and will get left behind and/or trodden on as those who know to play the game right leave them in their metaphorical dust.

 

[johnzaku]

Anywho, that's my thoughts... I know it's quite generalised, but I'm a human therefore I must categorise in order to make sense of things.

Thank you sir

What a lot of you seem to be saying is that all people on the internet should be hard and cautious while surfing.

Really?? I mean, you don't say that to the little kid on the playground who got bullied out of his lunch money, you don't tell your little brother or sister to suck it up when someone picks on them at school. Not everyone is a jerk, not everyone is a crybaby, but dammit if this is really your approach to things I feel bad for humanity.

I'd understand a couple of you saying to 'harden the fuck up' but it's a majority.

The internet is getting bigger and bigger, soon just about everyone will be online and not everyone will be able to take it in stride or get used to it. The internet is not a 'survival of the fittest' area, it's a place that everyone has access to. I'm not against a flamer now and then, or a rather outspoken pundit, or even a joke with questionable taste, but it is getting just a bit out of hand

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Theres a lack of honour in real life now. the internet is just the most obivous area of noone cares what they say. I want to say that hey people should grow up but it's easier and more practical to say everyone who's grown up should harden up. Person learned Harden! It was super-effective.

"your fore bearers wisely set aside their compassion and steeled themselves for what had to be done"-Prophet of Truth

(i don't know how well that quote fits into the staement it just sounded cool when i first heard it and i've wanted to use it in real life.)

 

[Ryokugax]

I see the point here but the only thing coming to my head at the minute is Tits or GTFO

No wait, here's a point.

Unfortunately as you said the anonymous nature of the net has created an entire medium without consequence, it's like freedom of speech being used by the little girl in the Exorcist, and there's nothing that can be done about it short of making the internet into a police state.