Open letter to women about phone numbers

[thecoreyhlltt]

nothing in either of my replies suggests i even want this to be about me, and i don't

Then it's hard to see what you would've been driving at when you said "just because one guy's an asshole doesn't mean we all deserve to be treated like one". Because obviously there are far more important considerations than what you -- or what "we," if you're more comfortable with that -- what "we" feel we "deserve" when comparing the risk of giving out one's personal information (for a woman) vs. the so-called "pain" of discovering she gave you fake digits (for a dude).

I don't particularly care whether you think I'm "insensitive" for pointing this out, sorry. I don't presume to be able to assess the truth of your story about your friend, only you can know that. Assuming it is true, you may want to do some thinking about whether it's really worth it to be wielding her memory as a rhetorical cudgel to avoid criticism in a rather trivial online debate. The fact of your doing so sort of undercuts the extension of sympathy you appear to be looking for.

it still amazes me how agrivated people like you make me, if i wanted sympathy i'd ask for it.
and what i've noticed about your responses is that you only take the parts you want to argue about out of my comments. BUT WHAT AMAZES ME EVEN MORE! is the fact that yes this is a "trivial online debate" and yet you're so enthralled in it that you can't stop commenting on how much of a messed up person you think i am. so since you can't end this, i will, and will do so by quoting whoever said it first, "aruing online is like competing in the special olympics, sure you might win, but you're still retarded" -Whoever

and yes i do realize i'm calling us both retards, because we are. we're both wordy assholes who are also retarded. good day to you sir

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

we're both wordy assholes who are also retarded. good day to you sir

Spoken like a gentleman, sir. At least you left the conversation with dignity, grace and class.

I SAID GOOD DAY!!!

i've always wanted to say that

 

[Lyx]

Anyway, you can't expect a girl to "have balls" because you "had the balls" to talk to them. Afterall they didn't "have the balls" to go up and talk to you, did they? Now, I do agree that they should simply say "sorry, not interested" or something similar. Totally. But you also can't just expect them to be ballsy because you are.

Not that it would justify it, but the "guys approaching girls"-thing is deeply integrated into.... lets call it gender-based social mating games. I've been able to get giant amount of statistical data - mostly 2nd hand, but data none the less, and there is no plausible reason for me to assume it to be faked - and that data with a crushing majority says: Women expect that guys offer, and they select. Yes, it sucks for anyone interested in more "mutual" and "equal" relationships, but the sad fact is, this is a highly established social norm. And that game is played according to the rules even by girls who do have "the balls" to be upfront and honest. So, no, that guys are expected to approach, does not mean that the girl necessarily is a coward - she may simply be playing along with the dogma.

That being said, i do think that it's a perfectly fair expectation, that if you are upfront to someone else, the other person too is honest. Yes, you're right that just because one is honest, it doesn't automatically make the other person the same - but it's a perfectly reasonable request. I mean, this isn't even about getting an equal return for the effort one invested - it's just a request to say "no" if one means "no". Simply a request to state rejection, if there is no interest, so that oneself can avoid wasting energy and trust in something that won't work out anyways.