Just because a chemical imbalance in your brain tells you you ought to do something doesn't make it a good idea
Opinion on age of smexy time
- Thread starter goldendriger
- Start date
awesomeClaw said:
Dude, really? You really think that people should be allowed to make that kind of decision based on the fact that /hormones/ are prominent? the same hormones that define a stupid teen and aaaall the bad decisions about to be made until age 25(minimum)?
I'm not trying to be rude, just curious...
Ok, I guess I'll chime in as well.
It's 16 here where I live and I do think that that's about right. Most of the places will hire you at no younger than that and you can legally be emancipated at that age. It's natural to want to explore your body and experience these things that are always so vaguely told to us. On a personal note, I've been in a "May-December" relationship (I was 17 and he was 24) and people didn't really have much to say because we went about it in a respectful and mature matter.
Ultimately, it really depends on the people involved. If your mature enough to understand the consequences of the actions and be able to provide if need be then I say have at it.
It's 16 here where I live and I do think that that's about right. Most of the places will hire you at no younger than that and you can legally be emancipated at that age. It's natural to want to explore your body and experience these things that are always so vaguely told to us. On a personal note, I've been in a "May-December" relationship (I was 17 and he was 24) and people didn't really have much to say because we went about it in a respectful and mature matter.
Ultimately, it really depends on the people involved. If your mature enough to understand the consequences of the actions and be able to provide if need be then I say have at it.
!WARNING! This post is LONG. You were warned.
Im pretty sure that 18 isn't 'generally' the age of consent. The US seems to think so, but not all of it, and the rest of us seem to think that younger people are smart enough to have sex with each other. Have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Age_of_Consent_-_Global.svg to get an idea of how the rest of the world feels.
Here the theoretical age of consent is 16, but assuming that the people involved are within a year or so of each other no one seems to fuss much until you get to about 13. Broadly speaking, I agree with that. Personally I think that 13/14 is a bit young to be having sex emotionally speaking (but then again I had my first sexual experience at 14 and I turned out alright... but I do remember being kinda confused and uncertain and certainly had no idea just how much it can screw with your relationships so that why I think that) but I think that since kids that age are powered by hormones and constantly want to hump each other, there's no practical reason to stop them.
I definitely would find it icky for someone who was 18 to be sleeping with a 13/14 year old and I'm pretty sure the cops would get involved if they found out. However, assuming that no-one was being raped or coerced I don't think that I'd be really outraged about it. I'd think the older one was manipulative and pathetic and I wouldn't want to know them but that's as far as I'd go. I wouldn't have a problem if someone who has 16 was sleeping with say a 14 year old. That's perhaps a bit liberal, but assuming they both wanted to, that's cool with me. To get me to care much it'd have to be someone sleeping with say a ten year old or something similar. Someone too young to really know what was happening. That's outrageous to me.
In general terms, I think that kids are going to try to do everything they aren't allowed to, and the best we can do is educate them about how to handle it. Unlike drinking and drugs, sex is normal and is going to be with them their whole lives and assuming they know to rubber-up, its actually quite good for you to learn about sex for real quite early. Again, just to make clear, I'm not talking about abuse or saying 'if you loved me you'd sleep with me', I'm talking about both of you want to sex each other up. The thing about sex is that until you start having sex you have no idea what to actually do. Porn lies to us constantly, and the sex ed side doesn't exactly teach you technique. While you're young, no-one cares how bad you are and general fumbling and giggling is par for the course. But if you get to 18 and are having 14 year old sex, your lady friend is not going to be best pleased.
Similarly, actually having sex helps people feel comfortable with their bodies and more confident in who they are and that they are an attractive person. Everyone worries, rightly or wrongly, about being fat/spotty/ugly/ginger during their teens but when you sleep with someone it makes you feel like yor worries are meaningless, like you're the sexiest person alive at that point. That's an amazing thing for a young worried teen. When you feel confident in yourself and you project that you are a better more attractive person.
I also think that policing the age of consent (unless there is say a 3+ year difference) is both pointless and draconian. We don't let kids do ANYTHING fun. They live in a world full of drugs and alcohol and sex and then tell them they can't have any of them until they grow up, and thats mean FOREVER if you are young. Ruining their lives, which is absolutely what we're talking about here... (If you have ANY of the related conviction, even if there is no jail time you are a sex offender for life, even if it was consensual, even if it was your partners idea, and of course if your partners parents guilt him/her hard enough you could end up on trial for rape... sex offenders can't get jobs, can't live in lots of places, have to register with police... all that crap landing on an 18 year olds shoulders)... just for being young. That's spiteful, and its wrong. Telling kids that they can't do it 'cuz i said so' never works, particularly when every last fibre of their being is telling them to do it. We tell kids not to drink and do drugs too, but they manage that easilly, and thats WAY harder when you a 14. All you need to have sex is a penis, and those are everywhere. There is fundamentally no basis for setting a specific age of consent. It is totally arbitrary and quite rightly the cops do their utmost to ignore it wherever possible. The same as drinking when young, sex when young teaches you how to handle it ok when you get older. You know what you like, you know when its enough, you know when to say no, and absolutely the most important thing is that when you do get to 'the right age' to do it, you don't go ***** crazy and spend every second of your life chasing it.
When I went to university 4 years ago, I was surrounded by 18 year old who had never been to a bar before who went MENTAL. Every second of every night was about booze. Hundreds of well educated 'adults' throwing up in the street, crying on each others, getting into fights, drunkenly sleeping with each other and squealing with regret. What I'm saying is that it takes a long time to learn what works for you and whats fun, and what will leave you throwing up in a puddle or accidentally urinating on a police officer (unless he's into that). When you put a point-blank age restriction on ANYTHING, and certainly if you police it so hard that it is impossible, when people get let off the leash they have to start from scratch. You are 18 (or 21 because america is fucking crazy) but drinking like a 14 year old kid. You are behaving the same way, because alcohol makes fools of us all. If you do it from when you are young enough to care, then by the time you are grown up and just trying to have a social drink or going on a date, you won't try to impress a girl by throwing up on her shoes.
So yeah, I am generally in favor of young people having sex with each other (and drinking) and absolute age restrictions are stupid. They are smart enough to avoid consequences (unless they are american, because abstinence only is fucking lolable), they are physically ready and I don't think that anyone is genuinely emotionally ready for sex until they actually start having it. So why not let them jump in ? They'll learn really important lessons about relationships and how sex changes things and particularly how to please themselves and their partners while they are still young enough for their mistakes not to haunt them forever. They'll grow up to have a good sex life, not to feel ashamed about sex, to feel like its normal and its fun and from time to time they will remember giggling in a field the first few times they did it and smile. Which beats being 18 and having somehow tricked a girl into your bed and then failing to produce an erection and her going off laughing at you (which happened to a friend of mine). What would you prefer ?
Teenagers are smarter than anyone gives them credit for. Don't you remember being 14 and feeling like you were way smarter than anyone ever thought ? THAT'S EVERYONE! If we, as a society, treated teens more like adults, I think they'd be happier behaving like them.
Im pretty sure that 18 isn't 'generally' the age of consent. The US seems to think so, but not all of it, and the rest of us seem to think that younger people are smart enough to have sex with each other. Have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Age_of_Consent_-_Global.svg to get an idea of how the rest of the world feels.
Here the theoretical age of consent is 16, but assuming that the people involved are within a year or so of each other no one seems to fuss much until you get to about 13. Broadly speaking, I agree with that. Personally I think that 13/14 is a bit young to be having sex emotionally speaking (but then again I had my first sexual experience at 14 and I turned out alright... but I do remember being kinda confused and uncertain and certainly had no idea just how much it can screw with your relationships so that why I think that) but I think that since kids that age are powered by hormones and constantly want to hump each other, there's no practical reason to stop them.
I definitely would find it icky for someone who was 18 to be sleeping with a 13/14 year old and I'm pretty sure the cops would get involved if they found out. However, assuming that no-one was being raped or coerced I don't think that I'd be really outraged about it. I'd think the older one was manipulative and pathetic and I wouldn't want to know them but that's as far as I'd go. I wouldn't have a problem if someone who has 16 was sleeping with say a 14 year old. That's perhaps a bit liberal, but assuming they both wanted to, that's cool with me. To get me to care much it'd have to be someone sleeping with say a ten year old or something similar. Someone too young to really know what was happening. That's outrageous to me.
In general terms, I think that kids are going to try to do everything they aren't allowed to, and the best we can do is educate them about how to handle it. Unlike drinking and drugs, sex is normal and is going to be with them their whole lives and assuming they know to rubber-up, its actually quite good for you to learn about sex for real quite early. Again, just to make clear, I'm not talking about abuse or saying 'if you loved me you'd sleep with me', I'm talking about both of you want to sex each other up. The thing about sex is that until you start having sex you have no idea what to actually do. Porn lies to us constantly, and the sex ed side doesn't exactly teach you technique. While you're young, no-one cares how bad you are and general fumbling and giggling is par for the course. But if you get to 18 and are having 14 year old sex, your lady friend is not going to be best pleased.
Similarly, actually having sex helps people feel comfortable with their bodies and more confident in who they are and that they are an attractive person. Everyone worries, rightly or wrongly, about being fat/spotty/ugly/ginger during their teens but when you sleep with someone it makes you feel like yor worries are meaningless, like you're the sexiest person alive at that point. That's an amazing thing for a young worried teen. When you feel confident in yourself and you project that you are a better more attractive person.
I also think that policing the age of consent (unless there is say a 3+ year difference) is both pointless and draconian. We don't let kids do ANYTHING fun. They live in a world full of drugs and alcohol and sex and then tell them they can't have any of them until they grow up, and thats mean FOREVER if you are young. Ruining their lives, which is absolutely what we're talking about here... (If you have ANY of the related conviction, even if there is no jail time you are a sex offender for life, even if it was consensual, even if it was your partners idea, and of course if your partners parents guilt him/her hard enough you could end up on trial for rape... sex offenders can't get jobs, can't live in lots of places, have to register with police... all that crap landing on an 18 year olds shoulders)... just for being young. That's spiteful, and its wrong. Telling kids that they can't do it 'cuz i said so' never works, particularly when every last fibre of their being is telling them to do it. We tell kids not to drink and do drugs too, but they manage that easilly, and thats WAY harder when you a 14. All you need to have sex is a penis, and those are everywhere. There is fundamentally no basis for setting a specific age of consent. It is totally arbitrary and quite rightly the cops do their utmost to ignore it wherever possible. The same as drinking when young, sex when young teaches you how to handle it ok when you get older. You know what you like, you know when its enough, you know when to say no, and absolutely the most important thing is that when you do get to 'the right age' to do it, you don't go ***** crazy and spend every second of your life chasing it.
When I went to university 4 years ago, I was surrounded by 18 year old who had never been to a bar before who went MENTAL. Every second of every night was about booze. Hundreds of well educated 'adults' throwing up in the street, crying on each others, getting into fights, drunkenly sleeping with each other and squealing with regret. What I'm saying is that it takes a long time to learn what works for you and whats fun, and what will leave you throwing up in a puddle or accidentally urinating on a police officer (unless he's into that). When you put a point-blank age restriction on ANYTHING, and certainly if you police it so hard that it is impossible, when people get let off the leash they have to start from scratch. You are 18 (or 21 because america is fucking crazy) but drinking like a 14 year old kid. You are behaving the same way, because alcohol makes fools of us all. If you do it from when you are young enough to care, then by the time you are grown up and just trying to have a social drink or going on a date, you won't try to impress a girl by throwing up on her shoes.
So yeah, I am generally in favor of young people having sex with each other (and drinking) and absolute age restrictions are stupid. They are smart enough to avoid consequences (unless they are american, because abstinence only is fucking lolable), they are physically ready and I don't think that anyone is genuinely emotionally ready for sex until they actually start having it. So why not let them jump in ? They'll learn really important lessons about relationships and how sex changes things and particularly how to please themselves and their partners while they are still young enough for their mistakes not to haunt them forever. They'll grow up to have a good sex life, not to feel ashamed about sex, to feel like its normal and its fun and from time to time they will remember giggling in a field the first few times they did it and smile. Which beats being 18 and having somehow tricked a girl into your bed and then failing to produce an erection and her going off laughing at you (which happened to a friend of mine). What would you prefer ?
Teenagers are smarter than anyone gives them credit for. Don't you remember being 14 and feeling like you were way smarter than anyone ever thought ? THAT'S EVERYONE! If we, as a society, treated teens more like adults, I think they'd be happier behaving like them.
Well... the legal age is 14 here. As it should probably be. As long as the government ensure the education children are getting informs them about the risks and proper procedures for sexual contact ie./ STIs and contraception etc. I mean honestly, if the age is 18, people are going to have sex underage anyway, the only difference is that it won't be technically legal. If the age is 14, underage sex just isn't as likely... so why the hell not?
... so technically as the UK shares the age of consent to be 16, do we all classify as a bunch of backward chavs and/or sheep fuckers?Treaos Serrare said:
No.
Your perception of the world is a distorted one on this matter.
Very often countries with a lower age of consent are more adapt at addressing issues like sexual health, contraception, and as a result have lower levels of unwanted pregnancy and very often people wait until into their 20's compared to others of the same class n other countries.
To approach something in a mature manner, instead of just banning it outright until an older age, to be honest is ridiculous and the totally wrong approach. As humans we always want to press the do not touch red button, we always want what we cannot have, therefore talking about sex and all that it encircles is the best policy and works in many parts of mainland Europe... although 13 is too young and 14 pushing it xD
Dyslexic by any chance?AngelSephy said:
Its just that seems familiar... and you missed out the word "end" in "I'll just end it with that"
Oh, Fair enoughbringer of illumination said:Oh god damn it, i forgot a comma, it should be "Now, i live in Denmark".Andreas55k said:Welcome to Denmarkbringer of illumination said:
I've always lived in Denmark, i'm natively Danish.
And dont beat yourself over some commas.
I forget them all the time
One quarter of teenagers have had sex by age fourteen according to recent statistics. The 16-18 legal age isn't stopping any of these people so far, so you have a fair point.awesomeClaw said:
What? So what happens if you accidentally get pregnant? Forced abortion?awesomeClaw said:
Here in Australia you're allowed to do it from 10 up, but from 10 to 16, only with somebody plus or minus 2 years age of you, and 16 to 18 year olds aren't allowed to do it with somebody in their care (teacher, doctor etc).
I agree with that rule.
I'm okay with what it is in England. It won't really change anything revising the age of consent, young people are still going to screw whether it's illegal or not.
Please don't misconstrued my comment, I wasn't speaking about the world at large, that would be moronic. My comment was for America alone, not the European countries that have been banging their 16 year-olds for a millennium, speaking as an american we are a bunch of dumb fuckwits that are slowly but surely sliding into a mire of laziness stupidity and irresponsibility thanks largely due to the "fact" that it's "okay to be less that whats expected of you, because you're special" Hell there is a show in our country called 16 and pregnant, on MTV of all places to deal with such serious subject matter, but what does the show actually show? whiny ass little shits who abuse the charity and patience of their respective parents and have a big cry and sulk when the reality of being loose with the cooch comes smashing through their glass dream house with a truncheon.Comando96 said:
with that out of the way, TEACHING kids about sex early is a wonderful idea, and as you pointed out nets wonderful results, however letting them physically explore said sexuality is still a morally and ethically bad idea, but that's how I feel about it and its not gonna change so i'll just leave it at that.
And this is why I will forever laugh at anyone telling me that they're opinion is right because the law says so. That will never be right. Happened to my brother, she only stopped when she realised that he would be going to jail if she followed up the case.zehydra said:
OP: My opinion is this. If your body is developed enough to have sex, everyone consents and protection is used, why the hell not.
Treaos Serrare said:
Fair enough xD
Yes, this method has been proven in some of the less powerful but more considerate parts of Europe (not spain 13, not Italy 13)
... Religious reasons for view?
I could understand that... but if any other then I don't possibly see why not.
Yes it fucking is. Even with protection there is the slightest chance of pregnancy, whenever you have sex theres that small chance.awesomeClaw said:
You should only have sex when your prepared to have a kid end of story really. Kids shouldn't be having sex at 13.They have better things to do in there teens.
This obsession with sex is understandable but the obsession to go out and have sex is just facepalm to me. Porn use it.
Just agh this threads make me so mad because everyone says the same liberal answer.
god no, i have problems with religion as a whole and that's a different topic all together but my reason is this: regardless of the hormones or curiosity i feel it is a horrible thing for what i consider to be a child to be sexually active, it goes against my sense of right and wrong as well as my moral compass. there is no reason for a child to be sexually active in this day and age outside of sequestered tribes that haven't joined this "modern" age. i know there are a few in some of the jungles of Africa, or there were last I cared to research it anywayComando96 said:Treaos Serrare said:
Fair enough xD
Yes, this method has been proven in some of the less powerful but more considerate parts of Europe (not spain 13, not Italy 13)
... Religious reasons for view?
I could understand that... but if any other then I don't possibly see why not.
eh i would say i would support 15-16, for full on sex that is, before that it is..unneeded/too early for a teen i would say..but after that i would ay 15 for consent, then after that it's a bit iffy on when people should legally be adults and what not..